Derby Unmatched Part I.

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

The bout logo and tagline.

Tickets were in high demand and crowd came in force to support their favorites. Stepford was up first. The girls in green were welcoming back a few players. It was great to see Black Cherry (back after two bouts) and Chelsea Grin (back after… a year? I think?) skating again. The CT roster was full and I’m certain that the extra players were a welcome relief to their taxed teammates deep into the 30 minute periods.

Black Cherry
Chelsea Grin
C.Mya Rage
Eleanor Bruisevelt
Ether Bunny
Milla LowLife
Miz ConSepJen
Parker Poison
Violet Riot
Luciana Pulverotti
Pearl Jammer

Suburbia roller derby, based out of Westchester County, NY was kickstarted by former CT skaters Slim Fast and Suffah Kate. Slim Fast last skated with CT in June of ’07. It was great to see her wearing skates again. The girls from Westchester came wearing camouflage skirts and bootie shorts.

Domestic violet
IV Drop
Ann Sane
Brawl Stanley
Dina Sore Jr.
el Pass-o
Hard-Core Vette
Pony Girl
Slim Fast
Smashing Pumpkin
Suffah Kate
Taryn Limbs
Vixen von Bruizen

As the crowd cheered, Pearl Jammer and IV Drop took their positions at the jammer starting line. Ether and Domestic Violet wore the pivot caps. The whistles blew and the girls took off. IV got a quick lead off a block by Dina Sore Jr. and snaked to the front of the pack. Unfortunately, her efforts were tainted by a foul so she didn’t score lead jamming status. She did however, have the opportunity to loop around and snag three points before Pearl had a chance to take lead jammer status and cut the jam short.

Hard-Core Vette rolled to the tape next for Suburbia against Milla. Milla pulled a grand slam. One player for suburbia was sent out on penalty in this second jam which paved the way for a beautiful 10 point jam by Elle. Parker, Miz, and Chelsea did a great job of slowing down the pack so that Elle could make the rounds. Pearl and Milla stretched the streak with 13 and 5 points respectively in the following two jams. Milla seemed to pause at the completion of her grand slam in the 5th jam. It was hard to tell if she was giving her team recoup time or trying to run down the clock in the midst of Stepford’s comfortable 30 point lead – though it seemed a bit early in the bout to be running the clock. The lost time did not come back to bite the girls in green in the first half. They kept the pressure on Suburbia widening the point gap.

Suburbia made a bit of a tactical error in the 11th jam. Pearl was sent out on penalty; Hard-Core Vette was skating as an unopposed jammer! Connecticut’s pack (also less a blocker on penalty) kept close for a moment and then took off! Unexpectedly, Suburbia took up the chase. Had they held back they may have been able to initiate an out of play call on the Sabotage. Blockers must be within 20feet of the pack in order to initiate a block. Oftentimes the pack will split as one team tries to slow the pack and the other team tries to speed up the pack. During normal play the pack operates in a balance between these two extremes, but when a girl is out on penalty the out of play rule allows the fully represented team to force the speed of the pack. In this case, Suburbia had an opening to slow the pack down dramatically to let Vette get some big points, but with her team chasing Stepford, Vette couldn’t make it around fast enough.

The first half ended with a score of 72 to 17 in favor of Connecticut.

Both teams were alternating through a consistent core of jammers. Suburbia saw regular play by IV, Hard-Core Vette, Smashing Pumpkin, and Dina Sore Jr.; Stepford called on the regulars Pearl, Milla, and Elle with the occasional Chelsea and Doom. Interestingly, Milla was played far more in the first half than the second. She really was on fire. At one point, one of my close friends gushed “Milla LowLife is, like, Kamikaze today” as Milla astonishingly chased down lead jammer Domestic Violet.

The second half started with Elle and IV Drop. I must admit, midway through the first two jams of the second half I was distracted by Pam Terror as she came around offering cupcakes for 2 dollars. I got a chocolate star cupcake with a fun sprinkled frosting. As I gluttonously finished my delicious cupcake I suddenly heard an overwhelming wave of cheering. I looked up to see a Suburbia player on the ground and Black Cherry blowing kisses to the crowd. I have no idea what happened – but I’m certain it was epic.

Pearl was in rare form in the 8th jam of the second half. I swear once she sprinted off the starting line she didn’t slow once. With the likes of Miz and Revengela in the pack, gaps seem to form miraculously in front of the jammer. 12 points later the girls in green had a lead of 78. The bout wound down with consistent performances by all the girls. IV Drop should be commended for her extremely strong start in the 13th. Doomcake ended Connecticut’s evening taking lead jammer status and throwing up her patented fist pump as the time ticked to zero. The final score: 124 – 38


Stepford: Pearl Jammer
Suburbia: Suffah Kate

Lead Scorers

Pearl Jammer 58 points in 12 jams (7 lead)
Milla LowLife 38 points in 10 jams (5 lead)
Eleanor Bruisevelt 19 points in 6 jams (3 lead)

Dina Sore Jr 11 points in 8 jams (2 lead)
IV Drop 10 points in 8 jams (4 lead)

Miz four visits
Chelsea 3 visits

Hard-Core Vette 3 visits

To read about the Gotham Texecutioners bout, click here!

Great job to all the players. It was great to see Slim Fast and Suffah Kate bring their team to CT for this extreme night. The CT girls will be at it again on July 25th at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge. If you’d like more information on this upcoming bout or any other facet of CT roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Suburbia’s Roller Derby, check out their website here.

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