Derby Unmatched Part II.

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending Connecticut’s roller derby double header. Expectations were high. Connecticut’s travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, took on Westchester County’s Suburban Brawl in the first half, while Austin’s Texecutioners traveled 1,800 miles to put NY city’s own Gotham Girls to the test.

For a recap of the Connecticut bout, please go here!

The Sabotage vs Suburbia bout set the stage for what was sure to be one of the most exciting roller derby showdowns in recent New England history. The Gotham Girls, rated number one nationally, had driven up from New York to meet up with Austin’s own Texecutioners who are rated number one in the south central region and number four nationally. As the women took their warm up laps it quickly became apparent that yes, this would be one very impressive showing of skill on skates.


Ana Bollocks
Barbara Ambush
Bonnie Thunders
Brigitte Barhot
Donna Matrix
Fisti Cuffs
Ginger Snap
Hyper Lynx
Kandy Kakes
Polly Gone
Surly Temple
Suzy Hotrod
Sweet Sherry Pie

The Texecutioners:

Belle Starr
Bloody Mary
Bullet Tooth Tracy
Desi Cration
Friction VixXxen
Lucille Brawl
Molotov M. Pale
Olivia Shootin’ John
Rice Rocket
Vicious Van Gogo
Kat A. Killzem

The Gotham Girls were dressed in an imposing black – a perfect contrast to the stark white uniforms of the Texecutioners. New referees took their place in the center of the track as the girls rolled to the starting line. The bout started with Bloody Mary of the Texecutioners opposing Bonnie Thunders of the Gotham Girls. Bonnie was easily identified on the track by the bright yellow lightning bolt which extended down her thigh.

Right from the beginning the Texecutioners got hit with a penalty. What would become a frequent frustration for the southerners, the jammer was sent to sit down for one minute. With the full Gotham fury focused on offense, the Texecutioners had little success in holding back Bonnie Thunders. She took in ten quick points for her team.

The second jam started and Bloody Mary charged back in from the penalty box. She quickly got ahead of the pack but, due to another foul, didn’t get lead jammer status. It didn’t stop her though. This time Bloody Mary got help from Rice Rocket and the others in the Texas pack who held back Gotham jammer Suzy Hotrod. Nine points into the jam, Bloody Mary was still going strong but Suzy finally broke through the line and ended the jam.

This bout was just getting started.

The next three jams went to the Texecutioners. Lucille Brawl, Olivia Shootin’ John, and Bloody Mary kept whittling away at the scoreboard. But the Gotham girls were always right behind to limit scoring potential. The energy of the teams and staff was especially apparent as Texecutioner Assistant Coach, Coach Koolaid, shouted from the sidelines, motivating and directing the team to perform. The teams were keeping close. After a short run of lead jammer status for the Texecutioners, the Gotham girls came back equally as strong. Bonnie Thunders was almost overpowering. She pulled another 10 points in the 13th giving a six point lead to her team. Bloody Mary returned with patient consistency and took in five points. The minutes drew to seconds in the first half when, once again, Texas made a few too many fouls. Texas girls were sent to the penalty box and what was moments earlier a 1 point game became a 16 point game when Suzy Hotrod lapped her opposing blockers three times for 15 points. The crowd, which was, as expected, full of more NY fans than TX fans, exploded into cheers. The first half ended with the New York Gotham girls ahead 43 to 27.

This particular bout was broadcast over the internet. Shortly after the intermission Bettie Mercury walked by and mentioned that there were 1,100 viewers online. Eleven Hundred! I think it’s safe to say that these women can draw a crowd.

The Texecutioner’s position looked grim at the start of the second half, but the girls were clearly not ready to give up. Bonnie Thunders of NY started with yet another sting for NY. She scored four points for her team widening the score gap to 20. But the TX consistency was hard to beat. Texas snagged nie of the next 11 lead jamming status. Lucille, Rice Rocket, Bloody Mary, and Olivia collectively scored 37 points which included a 9 point jam by Olivia as Fisti Cuffs got sent out on a penalty. With only a few minutes left in the bout the Texas team had a 15 point lead. But then things took a turn for the worse for the southerns. Their aggressive playing resulted in two consecutive jams with three of their players in the penalty box. Bonnie Thunders first tried to take advantage but was held to six points in what could only be described as superhuman skating by Rice Rocket and Bullet Tooth Tracy. But the tide could not be held back much longer. In the next two jams Suzy Hotrod and Bonnie Thunders brought in 25 points for the ladies in black. With only a few seconds left on the clock, Gotham put Bonnie, their star jammer, back into play. She snuck through the pack, secured the lead jammer status and the Gotham fans erupted!

Final score – Gotham 84, Texecutioners 76.


Gotham: Kandy Kakes
Texecutioners: Bullet Tooth Tracy

Lead Scorers
Bonnie Thunders 51 points in 18 jams (11 lead)
Suzy HotRod 31 points in 12 jams (4 lead)

Bloody Mary 29 points in 12 jams (5 lead)
Lucille Brawl 21 points in 10 jams (8 lead)
Olivia Shootin’ John 21 points in 13 jams (6 lead)

Great job to all the players! If you’d like to learn more about Connecticut roller derby, check out the website here.

For information on Gotham, please head on over to their website here; and for information on the Texecutioners, you can check out their website here.

It’s probably worth noting that the Texas girls kept up their tour and followed up Friday’s bout with a win against Charm City and another against Boston. Well done Texas!

One thought on “Derby Unmatched Part II.

  • 6/24/2009 at 11:16 am

    This above all, to thine own self be true

    As a GGRD fan, I have to say that Texas SHOULD have won the bout, as I think they were the better team Friday night. Gotham capitalized on the few errors TXRG made, and that made the difference.

    The Original GGRDonald
    still waits for his TWO cases of Lone Star


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