Category: travel

Gate opened.

Welcome to flight 3503 with service to a place you probably don’t want to go. This flight is uncomfortably full so we are limited in overhead baggage storage. Please make sure you take advantage of the underseat storage. Anything larger than a loaf of bread will need to be gate checked.

At this time we’ll be boarding senior citizens and anyone with disabilities who require additional time on the jet bridge.

Now, we would like to welcome active, uniformed military personnel to board.

Families with infants are now encouraged to board.

All families traveling with children under 4 are now invited to board the aircraft.

We will now be accepting first class passengers through our priority lane.

Group one is now welcome to board.

Platinum members of our rewards program can now board.

Participants in our credit card Milage Premium program can now board.

Group two can now board.

Gold level rewards program travelers are now welcome to board through the priority lane.

Group three is invited to board through the economy lane.

Passengers without carry on luggage can board at this time.

Group four can now board via the economy lane.

Anyone named Phillip can now board.

Group five is encouraged to board.

Group six is invited to board the aircraft.

Silver level rewards program travelers are now welcome to board through the ‘we call it silver, but its virtually worthless’ lane.

All remaining passengers with a group assignment can board at this time.

Any passengers without a group assignment can now board.

Standby passengers with seat assignments can now board the plane.

Last call for flight 3503 to a place you probably don’t want to go? Last call for flight 3505?

Gate closed.

Out on the job site, we take lunch whenever we can at wherever we can. Sometimes our installation locations are not conducive to traditional venues and we find ourselves at ‘Chuck’s Hot Dog Stand’ every day for three weeks straight.

Other times we are afforded the luxury of choice. Out here in Ohio, I have that luxury. We’ve been alternating between Subway, Panera, and a few local diners/eateries where the pie is to die for and the chicken you might die from.

When we go to Panera, my peers (Sander and another Mike) give alternate names to make the ordering process easier. Sander goes by Steve because “wait Sandhuhwho? How do you spell… is it Sandy?” and Mike goes by his last name because there are just too many Mikes.

My Dad used to do this at restaurants. Instead of saying Andy or having to spell out DiDonato. He’d just say his name was Sting.

It’s a pretty good plan. I’ve been thinking of doing the same, but I need a snazzy name. Any recommendations?

Surrounded by industrial equipment, I can’t help but wonder what machine would dominate a battle royale:

Excavator
Fork Truck
Dump Truck

They have one other massive machine here called a straddler. It looks like a war machine from the hit 90’s computer game Descent. It’s 20′ tall and can carry 60,000lbs of steel.

I’m thinking the fork truck’s maneuverability plus it’s bull spears would make it a pretty effective war machine. Even excavator payloaders, though fast, probably could only execute one or two awkward swipes before the fork truck could get up close.

The dump truck’s only effective strategy would be to plow its opponents. Assuming the bed was full, it would make for a nearly unstoppable force. But I don’t think it would charge a fork truck with raised forks – too risky.

These are the guiltless musings of a travel weary project manager.