Category: Ryan-Schenk-Is-So-Awesome

RYAN SCHENK EXPLAINS IT ALL!
Online directions!

When you’re looking for directions online using an online map program, the code running in the background is really intense. There are two steps: Geocoding and Driving Directions generation.

Geocoding is the process of taking a text string, in this case your zip code, and converting that into lat/lon coordinates.

Driving Directions, on the other hand, is the process of taking a lat/lon coordinate, and then, through the use of geomagnetic flux lines, normalized of course for solar storms, constructing a sort of computer model of a divining rod, which when coupled with a probabilistic finite automaton and run through an iterative simulation, can sense the interruptions of qi lifeforce caused by our highway system. Through a virtual meta-dowsing and coupled with a type of dynamic numerology, one can record the Mystical Path and True Will of this automaton’s divinations as it traverses the energy lines of a global-scale chiromancy. This is approximately a O( double exponential ) operation.

The good news is, Google Maps provides API services for driving directions, with geocoding built in!!

And there you have it!

Ryan Schenk Explains it All!

Ryan Schenk got a new sewing machine. Here’s our conversation about this sewing machine.

Ryan: Mike D
Mike D: SCHENK MAN
Ryan: I just sewed through 8 layers of truck tarp and 12 layers of ballistic nylon….without any electical power
Mike D: huh? foot pump action?
Ryan: nope! it has a hand crank for when you need to make sail repairs on your boat
Mike D: snazzy!

Ryan: guess how much my sewing machine weighs
Mike D: 35 pounds.
Ryan: FIFTY
Mike D: Holy moly
Ryan: muahahahahaha! it’s so cooooool

Mike D: THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A BENIGN SEWING DEVICE

Mike D: what was the original purpose for this purchase?
Ryan: extreme awesomeness. Also my current sewing machine just can’t sew what The Schenk wants to sew
Mike D: lol
Ryan: did you ever see the wallet I made out of tyvek?
Mike D: yeah
Ryan: welll… I made a new wallet out of bicycle inner tube. My old sewing machine can’t hack them. The Sailrite will eat them for lunch
Mike D: wow dude

Mike D: What are all those controls on the machine for?
Ryan: the big lever that is vertically oriented is the stitch length adjuster. it has a thumb screw that limits its travel on that curved front plate it is infinitely adjustable between -6 and 6mm. The horizontal lever on the top-right is the stitch width, infinitely adjustable from 0mm (straight) to 5mm (zig-zag) and the lever on the top-left determines the needle position in straight stitch mode. If you have that lever set incorrectly during zigzag mode, the machine will destroy itself.
Mike D: whoa
Ryan: also, in that picture of the drive train, see the black plastic knob with the knurled edge?
Mike D: yeah
Ryan: that’s a CLUTCH that you can set!! hahahaha
Mike D: ha ha ha ha ha
Ryan: although it’s usually either open or closed. I don’t know why you would set it to partial-slip, but you could if you wanted to.

So Awesome!!