Bluebirds vs. Wrens

There are four classes of animals:

Adorable kindhearted animals
Hideous kindhearted animals
Adorable jerks
Hideous jerks

Wrens are adorable jerks.

A month or so ago Jen and I put up a bluebird house. Much to our delight, a cute bluebird couple started moving in within the first week of its completed construction. Tirelessly, our two brightly colored feathered friends carefully selected strands of hay and grass from our backyard and brought it to the house. For a few weeks, everything was idyllic.

Then the wren came to town.

Wrens are cute ping-pong ball sized birds with perky tails and a charming wandering song. I first noticed the Wren as he sat on our bird bath, flittering and splashing before skirting off back into the woods. The Wren’s song melts hearts with its complicated twists and trills. Yet underneath the cute facade: the worst of offenders.

Wrens are home-wreckers. They find nests of other birds and unload a heap of sticks on top. If there are eggs the wrens crack them open and kick them out of the nests. The worst part? Male wrens go on a nest marauding campaign, wrecking four or five nests in a region. His ruthlessness is rewarded by a particular female Wren who visits the destroyed nests and chooses one. I can only imagine her choice is based on some hellish schadenfreude. The unchosen nests are abandoned completely, left as warnings… or perhaps trophies of the violence and humiliation of the weaker and the less fortunate.

Thankfully, our bluebird nest had no eggs. But it was heartbreaking to see the brightly colored birds approach the birdhouse and leave in emotional dismay at their lost efforts.

Wrens are huge jerks.

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