Long-time reader, rare commenter, Blue Sarah sent me over an amazing auction link this morning. I’m not sure how long it’ll stay up, so I’ve copied the content to this post. Here’s the original link.
Scary Washing Machine. No really, it’s terrifying.
Old mid 80’s Fisher and Paykel top loader.
Goes like a rocket!
By ‘goes like a rocket’ I actually mean that literally.
It actually shakes the house.
It’s the loudest most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered.
It makes guests scared and children cry. I’ve lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me.
Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it’s own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.
I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw in case people didn’t believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.
I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.
On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.
Thankfully its bite is not as bad as it’s bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it’s supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it’s running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I’m still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.
If your in a fix and need a cheap washing machine and are either completely deaf or hate your neighbors this baby is for you.
$1 reserve, pick up only, Waterview Auckland.
Selling to pay for my counseling.
HA HA! Thanks Blue Sarah!