Connecticut Derby

On Easter weekend the girls of Connecticut donned their helmets and pads yet again in a contest of endurance, speed, and aggression. This month the mix-match of teams put the Iron Maidens against the Pop Tarts. The Iron Maidens came out for their introductions dressed in full metal regalia. Special props to Violet Riot for her fantastic hair. The Iron Maidens were made up of the following players:

Anita Chainsaw
Lemmy Atter
Miz Con SepJen
Pam Terror
Parker Poison
Violet Riot
Em Dash (Gotham)
Crown Joules (Boston)
and Rocky (Boston)

The Pop Tarts came out in their pink tutus and bright colors to the peppy rhythms of Cyndi Lauper. Their team included the following:

C. Mya Rage
Ether Bunny
Liberty Violence
Luciana Pulverotti
Milla LowLife
Pearl Jammer
Haley Contagious (Boston)
Killery Clinton (Boston)
and Zoomz Byda Boomz (Boston)

Just looking at rosters alone, the teams looked pretty evenly matched. The Iron Maidens had a strong selection of pack skaters and visiting skaters Em Dash and Rocky had body types that screamed jammer. Meanwhile the Pop Tarts had a wonderful selection of pack leaders as well as a strong jamming base with Pearl, Doom, and Rage.

Interestingly, as the bout got started the control of the jams shifted dramatically towards the Iron Maidens. Pearl gave the Pop Tarts a beautiful start against Violet with a quick 4 points. But the lead was short lived. Pam Terror, who seems to have brought her game to a new level, followed Pearl with a Grand Slam and the Iron Maidens didn’t turn back.

Early on, the hits came on strong. In the fourth jam, Revengela scored 5 points for her team after Milla was brutally knocked to the ground. In the mayhem, I didn’t notice whose shoulder inflicted that crushing blow, but rest assured it was effective.

Next up at the jamming line was Gotham girl: Em Dash. Em Dash has the height and form of a jammer and right when she took off, it was clear that she was here to do business. Her sprint was opposed by Pearl who kept Em Dash to an honest 4 points, but it was clear there was more than one strong jamming contender on the Iron Maidens team. The Iron Maidens continued their onslaught with 6 unanswered jams, distancing themselves from the struggling Pop Tarts. Halfway through the first period the score stood 41 to 11. The Pop Tarts had some serious ground to cover. But cover they did!

Especially noteworthy was a 7 point jam from Pearl. The jam put Pearl (with pivot Ether) against Violet Riot (supported by pivot Crown Joules). Pearl broke through the pack after a successful block by Ether. As Pearl looped around to enter the pack a second time, Milla screamed out from nowhere and opened a gap for Pearl. It’s these well orchestrated cooperative moments when it’s easy to understand the glory that is Roller Derby.

Killery Clinton followed for the Pop Tarts, and though it was a low scoring jam, Killery executed a glorious evasion of Miz ConSepJen’s ruthless shoulder. Shortly thereafter Doom took in 4 points, and Pearl 5 more. The first half ended with a prime opportunity for Rage. With two of the Iron Maidens out on penalty, Rage screamed around the track first once, and then again getting 9 points and pulling the Pop Tarts back within striking distance.

Score at the half? Iron Maidens 48, Pop Tarts 41.

It should be mentioned that these bouts always have a DJ. This particular bout had DJ Ebomb spinning, and he was doing a great job of sticking to the theme. Heavy metal tunes were played back to back with 80’s pop hits by the likes of Debbie Gibson. It was hilarious. The music always adds a lot to the Derby experience. Way to go DJ Ebomb!

The second half got underway with Em Dash starting against fellow Boston Derby Dame, Haley Contagious. Em Dash was in prime form yet again, and took 7 points for the Maidens. Three jams later Em Dash went at it again, this time pulling in 11 points for her team. Her success was due in part to the strong blocking of her teammates. At no time was that more apparent than when Miz so solidly hit Killery Clinton that Killery lay stunned momentarily on the sidelines… pausing to find her breath… before getting up and resuming her jam.

Sitting on the sidelines is somewhat risky. At one point Ether Bunny came crashing into the girl sitting next to me. Ether scrambled out of the fan’s lap, caught her eye, smiled and said “Hi!!” before skating off and returning to the pack. This small interaction does well to show that these women, despite their brutal hits and seemingly aggressive nature, really have a great time on the track and are typically in high spirits regardless of which of their friends is knocking them to their knees.

The Iron Maidens continued their attack. The strong jamming of Em Dash, Pam, and Rocky when coupled with Miz, Anita, and Parker’s ability to hold back the Pop Tart jammers, made the team a tough competitor. The Pop Tarts were by no means out of their league. In fact, both teams had almost the exact same number of lead jams. The Iron Maidens had just been slightly more effective at turning those opportunities into points.

The final score?
Iron Maidens 95, Pop Tarts 61

Iron Maidens: Em Dash
Pop Tarts: Ether Bunny

The MVP selections for this bout were extremely well deserved. Em Dash was decidedly the high scorer for the game and Ether Bunny (who acted as Pop Tart pivot for 14 of the 38 jams) was a strong and consistent defender.

High Scorers!

Iron Maidens
Em Dash: 46 points in 12 jams, 7 lead.
Rocky: 24 points in 9 jams, 6 lead
Pam Terror: 20 points in 6 jams, 2 lead

Pop Tarts!
Pearl Jammer: 36 points in 11 jams, 9 lead (whoa)
C. Mya Rage: 10 points in 7 jams, 1 lead

Once again, we had a pretty clean night. Rocky and Revengela were the closest to penalty Queens having visited the box three times each.

The girls will be hitting the track again locally on May 9th. If you’re a Derby fan, you should also make note of the June 6th bout in Holyoke against Pioneer Valley. It’s a double header featuring the Death Quads vs. Dirty Dozen and the Sabotage vs. Western Mass Destruction! That will likely be a very fun bout to watch.

Great job to all the skaters, refs, and participants. If you’d like to learn more about derby or learn more about the Connecticut league, check out the CT roller girl website here.

6 thoughts on “Connecticut Derby

  • 4/16/2009 at 2:16 pm

    Brilliant as always Mike! And FYI it was Miz that took me down and DJ E-bomb works ever bout. We love him!

  • 4/16/2009 at 2:19 pm

    oooh, props to Miz. That looked like it hurt.

    Also, props to DJ E-bomb. He’s pretty awesome!

  • 4/16/2009 at 4:33 pm

    Mike….I’m gonna put you on the Hot seat. For someone who isn’t all that familiar with Roller Derby, what kind of body type just screams Jammer?

  • 4/16/2009 at 4:42 pm

    Good question. Jammers tend to be thin though their height varies dramatically. The really short jammers are sneaky and often seem to quickly zip through a tight pack. The tall jammers often have amazing stride and can loop around the track disgustingly fast.

    Take, for example, Slim Fast. Slim was a derby girl in CT before she moved on to a new league. Her name very much describes both her body type and her style of play.

  • 4/17/2009 at 11:41 am

    Jammers come in all shapes and sizes! The best jammers tend to be “in shape” which doesn’t always mean they are skinny.
    Great Recap as ususal Mike, I feel like I was at the game despite being on vacation! Thanks for your in depth reporting


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *