On Friday the thirteenth, three Connecticut roller girl teams entered the Roller Magic arena in Waterbury, each trying to exit as the sole champion. The regular season had come and gone leaving all three teams tied. The Elm City Bone Crushers, the Iron Angels, and the Widowmakers arrived to play each other in 30 minute mini bouts. At the end of the night, if a single team won both its bouts, she would go on as champion. If again, all teams tied, then the team with the greatest point differential would be deemed champion.
Letâ€™s take a closer look at the three teams.
The Elm City Bone Crushers
ECBC, as their adoring fans refer to them, came into the 2008 season worn and beaten from their losses the previous year. But Doomcake (#13), their willful and powerful captain, wasnâ€™t going to let history dictate this yearâ€™s success. After a heartbreaking loss to the Widowmakers early in the season, the team came together for a well-earned victory over the Iron Angels. Their roster* includes:
Doomcake (#13 captain)
Vixen Vega (#80085 asst. captain)
ChaCha LaRue (#xoxo)
Chelsea Grin (#T-4)
Ether Bunny (#ZZZ)
Jenghis Kahn (#1162)
Murderface Maully (#82)
Susan Bea Anarchy (#79)
Smith & Wendly (#357)
Syd Rock (#2)
Victoria Deckâ€™em (#8)
The Iron Angels
The 2007 Connecticut Rollergirl reigning champions have a strong roster. Last yearâ€™s victory was testimony of the phenomenal power and leadership of the teamâ€™s captain and assistant captain: Tina Colada (#B-52) and Pearl Jammer (#GO) respectively**. The compassion and camaraderie of the Iron Angels is unparalleled. Their roster* includes:
Tina Colada (#B-52 captain)
Pearl Jammer (#GO asst. captain)
Girl Fawkes (#V)
Mount Saint Helen (#1980)
Nelly Nuckles (#2-KO)
Niki Nos Nitrous (#N20)
Pam Terror (#9)
Slaughterhouse Sadie (#70)
Violet Riot (#911)
Virginia Woolferine (#168)
These rollergirls have a passion and a professionalism that make them quite a menace in the ring. The Windowmakers have been a consistent contender in the Connecticut scene. The 2008 season began with a fantastic comeback for the Widowmakers as they pushed past the Bone Crushers in a tight 86 to 83 overtime victory. Under the power of their teamâ€™s seasoned captain Revengela (#1-2-3-4), the Widowmakers were out to try and take their first championship. Their roster* includes:
Revengela (#1-2-3-4 captain)
Black Cherry (#C-4 asst. captain)
Barbie Q (#2-3 team manager)
Eleanor Bruisevelt (#1933)
Luciana PULVERotti (#110R)
Milla Lowlife (#40)
Miz Con SepJen (#7)
Parker Poison (#As33)
Pepper Grind-Her (#10+)
Ruby Wreckingball (#TNT)
Slick Shoes (#85)
Huge crowds gathered to watch the Championship showdown.
The first bout on Friday saw a competition for the ages between Elm City Bone Crushers and the Widowmakers. As the whistle blew, the girls took off in formation; the jammerâ€™s driving forward with fiery intensity. Doomcake showed her prowess as she maneuvered through her opponents and quickly took the first lead jammer status. With it, the Bone Crushers drew first blood with a 5 point lead. Syd Rock came out next against Luciana PULVERotti. Despite Lucianaâ€™s aggressive drive, the ECBC defense kept her down and Syd Rock, with impressive maneuvering, sneaked through to win the jam. Right from the beginning, ECBC was showing some notable muscle and strategy on their skates. After ten jams, they had an impressive lead and were consistently scoring lead jamming status.
And then came the single most violent jam of the night. Syd Rock came out as the Bone Crusher jammer following a striking 5 point jam led by Chelsea Grin. Opposite her, at the starting line, was Eleanor Brusivelt, who earlier had led a successful jam under some remarkable defense work of her teammates. The whistle blew and the girls took off. As the jammers stormed around the track, they came face-to-face with a pack that held like a wall. Careening around the corner, the aggressive shoulders of the blockers dropped the jammers, and the trip up brought seven rollergirls tumbling to the ground. The girls got up and Syd promptly slammed into Milla, Ether Bunny clocked Eleanor Bruisevelt, and after getting up Eleanor bashed MurderFace Maully. More roller girls hit the floor in this one jam than in any jam I have seen to date. As testimony to the strength of these two teams amazing defensive players, at the end of this violent jam neither team had been able to successfully navigate through the pack to score any points.
The Bone Crushers were successful in their drive putting down the Widowmakers in a 50 to 17 victory.
After a short intermission where we were entertained by the Creepin Cadavers, the girls got right back into action. Since the Bone Crushers won the first round, they were able to relax until the third bout. This second bout put Iron Angels up against the Widowmakers. Tina Colada started at the line with Eleanor Bruisevelt. The teams were trading lead jamming status pretty consistently. Right away this looked like a bout of defense versus a bout of offense. The Widowmakers were pushing hard on Pearl Jammer, last yearâ€™s MVP, and were effectively holding her back. Parker Poison, Revengela, and Slick Shoes were in rare form consistently laying down the Iron Angelsâ€™ jammers. Angel Violet Riot seemed to be coming out a bit more as the Iron Angels tried to combat the Widowmakersâ€™ hard-hitting defense, but to no avail. The points kept coming for the Widowmakers and they closed out with a 36 â€“ 26 victory.
The Deciding Bout.
Despite losing the previous round, the Iron Angels were not out of the contest. If they could win against the Bone Crushers with a 21 point victory, they would take the championship.
The Bone Crushers, however, were truly intent on crushing their opponents. Doom, Syd, Ether, and Chelsea Grin traded the jammer position for the first eight jams over which they took every single lead jammer title. Pearl was the first to break the Bone Crushers run. Pearl, Pam, and Nelly Knuckles came up with a short rally, but were kept honest by the devastating drive of the ECBC. Jam after Jam the girls in red were pushing their points skyward. As the clock ticked the final seconds away, the Elm City Bone Crushers threw their hands in the air, they had defeated the Angels 42 to 11.
The girls gathered ringside to collect their trophy.
ECBC pose with their trophy.
Syd Rock and Doomcake were the highest scorings players of the evening. Syd with 47 points and Doom with 31. These women alone showed Connecticut that the Bone Crusher’s weren’t fooling around. Eleanor Bruisevelt and Luciana PULVERotti took home 18 and 11 points respectively for the Widowmakers. Pearl was the leading scorer for the Angels with 10.
Congratulations to all the Roller Girls for an amazing season and endlessly entertaining bouts! The next big event will have the travel team, the Stepford Sabotage, against a bunch of east coast teams at the EAST COAST EXTRAVAGANZA on June 21st in Philadelphia, PA and then against some of Western Massachusetts’ finest on July 12th in Holyoke, MA. For more information check out the CT Roller Girls Website.
*The rosters listed here were not the exact rosters for this particular bout.
** UPDATE: A Roller Girl kindly pointed out in the comments that last year’s Iron Angels captain and asst. captain were Nelly Knuckles and Dead End Allie. Tina Colada and Pearl are the captain and asst. captain for this season.