Pranks: Chapter 3

Haven’t read Chapter 1 and 2? Start here.

Chapter 3 – Prank 1: The Guardian Shield Maneuver

I walked out onto the porch at HnH headquarters. It was cool, but not cold outside. I raised up my walkie talkie.

“Agent Eastie? Are you there?”

“This is Agent Eastie!” he whispered violently “turn off the extra sounds! Turn off the extra sounds!”

My walkie-talkie had been set to conclude each message with a loud blip. Had this simple lack of foresight ruined our chances?

“Sorry! Are all systems go?” I asked nervously

“I think someone is still awake, I think I hear walking upstairs.”

Kurt was alone in enemy territory. He had spent the past 6 hours waiting in the dirt and dust. And now it was 4am and members of the Yellow House were still awake. Agent dirt started his walk by. The result was not promising. Goss, John, and a visitor were still awake in the dining room. They were, of course, playing Magic (the gathering!).

There was also a light on the second floor in JRoy’s room and on the third floor in the kitchen. This was bad. But we had to keep going with the mission. Our group of agents left HnH and circled around to Berkshire street so that we wouldn’t be spotted by the dudes in the West dining room. We sprinted to the back of the yellow house following the green dashed line in the map below.

HnH Rocks!

Upon reaching the back of the house we knocked the secret knock on the back door. Kurt was ready. He opened the door and we quickly poured into the basement.

With Goss and John M. playing Magic, we had no idea when the house might clear. We knew Jon O. got up early for his golf course job… we had a very limited time window to pull this thing off. It was now 4:30am, the sun was rising… and we were nervous. Since the dining room had a clear view of the staircase as well, it was very unlikely that we’d be able to sneak past them.

It was time to improvise. We decided that I would swing around to the front of the house, knock on the door and see if I could get the boys to walk down the street for ice cream. If I could do it, then Kurt could lead the teams upstairs for a fast and furious Guardian placement.

I left the others in the basement and got to the house’s back door.


“Mike D?!?”
“hey Guys! Let’s go get Ice cream!”
“what?” Goss and John were completely confused.
“seriously. We gotta go get ice cream.”
“uh… no thanks”
“come onnnnnn”
“dude, we already had ice cream tonight.”

What were the odds?

“can I go snag some water from the kitchen?”

They had no idea that there were a dozen people in the basement waiting patiently to swarm through the house. I left the dining room and ran downstairs into the cellar.

“They aren’t falling for the ice cream bit.”
“see if you can figure out when they’re going to bed!”

I ran back upstairs hastily grabbed some water from the kitchen and barged back into the dining room.

“Good Lord Dudes. How long do these Magic games last?”
“eh… this one’s just about done. Mike D… why are you awake?”
“I have no idea.” I noticed that Jon O’s door was open… and dark.

I hung around for a few more minutes until they started wrapping up their game. I did a brief check of the other floors under the pretense that I was seeing if Joslyn was awake.

Eventually the boys went to bed. And I pretended to leave… instead, I ran back into the cellar.

“we’re clear, and I think Jon already went to the golf course.”

And with that, the Guardian distribution began. We stormed upstairs taking special care to be quite outside of Goss’s and John’s bedroom doors.

Ready for Deployment

Guardians were put EVERYWHERE.
Inside the Swiss Miss
In cereal boxes
Under Couch cushions
In the toilet water tank
On top of doorframes
Behind curtains
Under the Carpet
Frozen into ice cube trays (a personal favorite, we had to empty the trays ahead of time)
In the egg cartons
Outside of every bedroom door
Behind the T.V.
In people’s coats
And in Ernie’s room. He wasn’t in town that weekend, and he foolishly left his door open.

As Kurt had mentioned, every Guardian was numbered. But we skipped 50 random numbers. The intention was to make the Yellow House believe that there were always more Guardians hidden. They could never find them all.
barcodes of destruction

250 Guardians is a LOT of Guardians. It was so intense that I had trouble placing my final guardian. So I ran down to the kitchen… which had the most potential hiding spots. First, I figured I’d throw it in someone’s Chex cereal. But there was already one there. Then, I figured I’d put it under the seat cushion… already one there.
Silverware drawer? Guardians.
In boots by the door? Guardians.

Finally, once all were placed… we all returned to the basement. We opened the back door, locked it behind us, and raced victorious back to the House of Rock where we all tried to get back to sleep.

Continue reading Chapter Four Here

4 thoughts on “Pranks: Chapter 3

  • 4/3/2007 at 3:14 pm

    So while I was in the basement, I was covered by a black Genuity blanket that mike lent me so I was totally invisible while in the darkness. I recall that several times people would come into my little area of the basement to fart around but they never looked over at the tipped over table and storage area. They mostly just lifted weights about 10 feet away. And just so you know the entire floor of the 1st floor squeaks like a son-of-a-gun. I didn’t get a wink of sleep that night. I jumped at every footfall and squeaky floorboard cause I thought they were coming in the basement. 6 hours is a long time to just lay squeezed in a small space. it was one of the best nights i had in College.

  • 4/4/2007 at 2:30 pm

    Man reading these things makes me giggle. Awesome pranks and awesome write-up!

  • 4/10/2007 at 10:56 am

    Not to bring down the awesomeness or anything, but I wish you’d gone a step further and placed nanny cams all over to capture their reactions. And which call sign belongs to which prankster?

  • 4/11/2007 at 7:00 am

    That information requires a clearance level of Sniper Rifle, you only have been cleared for Shotgun Clearance. Sorry.


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