A story from Schenk

Schenk sent me a letter. It has been edited into metric.

Last night it was brutally cold, so me and Michael decided to go skating at this salt pond next to the ocean, about a 10min
walk from my house. It rained on friday, so we both figured there’d be a good coating of fresh water ice over the salt water ice so our skates wouldn’t rust. So after we were done skating, I was like, “Hmm, I wonder if my skates are salty…?” and there’s only one way to find that out!

I’m sure you can see this coming a mile from 1.6 kilometers away.

So I find myself with an ice skate semi-permanently affixed to my face!

I’m like how the heck can I get this off? Luckily, Quick Thinking Schenk ended up walking through this little path through the woods in the middle of the night, with a skate attached to his face, over to WHOI (woods hole oceanographic institute). As I’m walking through the woods I’m like, what if I get frostbite and they amputate my tongue!! Luckily, I made it to WHOI, stumble into some research lab where there’s scientists doing science, and I’m like, “Pi!! I hab thith spate thuck to my fffape! Do you hab a bafroob with sobe hot waber??”

Luckily they did, and I got the skate off my face, and all is well. But of course the next time I go to a party in Woods Hole, somebody’s gonna be like, “hey you’re that jerk who got the skate attached to his face!!”

So there you have it. The adventures of Ryan Schenk

So there you have it. The adventures of Ryan Schenk.

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