Last night, at hours far too late, I wrote up the Star Wars parallel that was requested by Shaun McQuaid. I have tried to parallel all my regular and semi-regular readers with a star wars character. Now, there arenâ€™t quite enough female characters in the movie, so donâ€™t be disappointed if youâ€™re female and your parallel is either male, a monster, or a robot.
If I’ve left you out, just leave a comment and I’ll add you in.
Mike D: Luke. This is more because I feel I HAVE to be Luke what with being the main character of mikedidonato.com. I am not Luke because I want to be. Lukeâ€™s lame.
JonAbad: R2-D2 would have been a cooler character had he been Mexican. This roll is also perfect for JonAbad because Jon is always magically appearing and saving the day. JonAbad and R2-D2 also both really enjoy baking.
Kurt: Mace Windo. If Kurt were a Jedi, heâ€™d probably have a funky purple disco lightsaber with which he would kill snakes on planes.
Ben: Uncle Owen. Yes, he was killed by the empire, but rumor has it he could hold off a whole colony of Sandpeople with one blaster
TimBaird: Boba Fett. I can think of few people who would be able to better take advantage of a jetpack.
Patrick: Ewok Warrior. Ewoks are masters of the wilderness. Everything about Patrick SCREAMS ewok.
Roland: Wedge Antilles. Heâ€™s always there to lend a hand, and is great in combat and with a Frisbee.
Alicia: Amidala. Alicia is super fashionable, and itâ€™s only right that this honor go to the Queen of Fashion herself.
Theresa: SabÃ©. SabÃ© was the handmaiden of Amidala that stood in for the Queen in dangerous situations. Theresa, being dangerous, is the only one for the job. SabÃ© was also played by Kiera Knightly. What? who knew!
My mom: Aunt Beru. She was a caregiver and preferred a nice cup of coffee over a space battle.
ShaunMcQuaid is the Force.
Jesse: TuanTaun. Do a web image search for TuanTaun. The resemblance is uncanny
Jesseâ€™s mom: Battle Droid. This might seem out of place, but battle droids have amazing dental hygiene.
HC Alicia: Wampa. While the image might not seem right at first, the Tauntaunâ€™s and Wampas are made for one another
Becky: Red Leader. Simply because of her stunning red hair.
Tom: Grand Moff Tarkin. In addition to being the governer of the galactic empire, Tarkin, like Tom, is extremely talented at making blue cheese salad dressings. Also, read this.
Sander: Jabba the Hutt.
Mykal: Shmi Skywalker. Mykal may not know it, but sheâ€™s the mother of the soon to be leader of the jedi doomsquad
Aaron: Han Solo. Aaron got so boned with the superpower post (glowing elbows?) that I figured he deserved something more exciting for this round. Way to go Aaron!
Shamus: Admiral Ackbar. In addition to being the finest general of the rebellion, Ackbar, like Shamus, is known for the frontside 720â€™s he pulls in the snowy mountains of Hoth.
RyanSchenk: Biker Scout. Schenk would make a SICK biker scout.
Ruth: Darth Maul. When Ruth is angry, the universe is very afraid.
Jocelyn: Temple Guard. Dressed in stunning red, Jocelyn is in charge of only the most important job ever: protecting all that is evil.
Adam: All that is evil. Adam is the Emperor. Adam makes a lot of sense for this roll because Palpatine was an amateur meteorologist in high school before he began his quest to become the ultimate villain of the galaxy.
Walid: Wald. No lie. Thereâ€™s a character in Star Wars by the name â€˜Waldâ€™.
Liz: Jawa. Liz, not unlike a Jawa, is an expert at bartering.
Sander: Jar Jar Binks.
Kate from Ohio: C-3PO. The O stands for Ohio.
Tyler: General Grievous. He is the only droid who could actually pull his weight in battle. Four lightsabers? Yes.
Bisol: Death Star Stormtrooper. Heâ€™s working hard for his family and this is the only job he could get given the economy these days. Heâ€™s hoping to at least be promoted to lieutenant some day. Heâ€™s tired of being last in line at the Death Star cafeteria.
Caitlin: Gold Leader was in charge of the whole Gold attack forceâ€¦ their drive was plagued to fail from the beginning. The empire came from behind.
JesAbad: The Torture Droid. you DO NOT want to be interrogated by Jes.
Marian: Sebulba. They say Pod Racing originated in England.
Mike G: Greedo. I can honestly see Mike G being a bounty hunter.
Pam C: The Planet Alderaan. Peaceful. Quiet. But she’ll explode if you insult her Volleyball.
Ian: Qui-gon Jinn. Ian was an indirect cause of the fall of the republic! but don’t worry Ian, the child of your student will make out with his sister… weird.
TedBreen: Yoda. Before yoda needed a cane, he could run 17 miles a day without a second thought.
JoeHavelick: Darth Tyranus. Tyranus is also known as Count Dooku. Heh heh.
Abby: Lando. No explanation needed.
James: Rancor. He may seem violent and angry on the outside, but heâ€™s a teddie bear once you get to know him.
Annie Olives: Jango Fett and the parent of the entire clone force. Annie, like TimBaird, has a jet pack.
JesSaint: The Millenium Falcon. Jes is Fast. VERY fast.
UUIG: The people have spoken. UUIG is Leia.
Anita Clue: Darth Vader. Anita is unforgiving and able to throw small children across a room simply by waving her hand.
Sander: Chewbacca’s hairy sister
Devin: Obi Wan. He hid from the empire and became a recluse. Heâ€™s also a great rock climber
Irene: The Second Death Star. Donâ€™t make the mistake of underestimating Irene. Sheâ€™s fully operational and will ruin you.
Eric Pope: Red Six. He had a problem. He tried to hold it. Biggs told him to pull upâ€¦ It was tragic.
Ed: Senator Organa has a goatee. Ed has… or at one point had… a goatee.
Ed #2: The Head of the Spare Parts devision for Death Star Inc. He was SO good at his job that the empire ordered a whole new STAR in episode VI.