Last night I had an awesome dream.
I was attending the season opener for the New England Patriots. For some reason they were starting their season on the lawn of the Sydney Opera House. This was perfectly normal in the dream, but I do remember thinking how lucky I had been to find cheap airline tickets.
I was wandering through the crowd, trying to find my seat, when I suddenly saw this amazingly hot girl. She was stunning! Medium height, brunette with red highlights, and perfect, pouty lips. I wanted to go and introduce myself – but I didn’t know what to say.
Suddenly, in a cartoon-ish sort of way, an angel popped up on one shoulder, and a devil on the other. I hoped they were going to give me advice on how to strike up a conversation with the girl.
The angel leaned close and suddenly I realized it was Jon Abad!
“Give her your iPod and she’ll love you forever…” he said.
I was stunned! Should I do it? Should I surrender my snazzy, brand new iPod to this unknown girl in hopes of winning her affection?
The devil on the other shoulder leaned in for a word. It was KURT!
“Give her a wedgie and she’ll love you forever…” he said.
A wedgie? Really? I found myself seriously considering the idea. Maybe she was fun-loving and would actually appreciate the humor in a stranger giving her a wedgie.
I made up my mind. I walked over to the girl, and directly in front of her, I gave my iPod a wedgie. Boy did it scream! (The iPod was wearing stylish plain boxers).
I think we started a conversation about my antics, but I woke up soon afterwards and the details slipped away. Here’s to unusual ways of mistreating your iPod!