Killer Queen

I’m sure all of you know of Candy Land. Candy Land is game determined completely by chance that helps children learn and recognize colors as well as learn the difference between helpful rainbow slides and that torturous Jolly Gum Drop card that would always hit you on the final run. I myself am most familiar with the 1985 version. I think this was the first version to feature Queen Frostine.

I had a mini-crush on Queen Frostine, but really? Who didn’t! Not only was she holding a magical wand which could probably turn vegetables into candy, but she also had the Queen Frostine card, which, if chosen in the first few moments of the game could all but guarantee victory. She was cute too.

2002 saw a major downfall in the Candy Land saga. Queen Frostine went from seductive and magical to bubbly and fake. But the worst is yet to come! In 2005, Candy Land came out with a new edition that doesn’t even feature queen frostine.

Now it’s Princess Frostine. And she’s got gray hair and an unnaturally arched back.

She\'s a Killer Queen

I am genuinely disappointed with these so called improvements. Even Lord Licorice, who used to be vile and evil, is toned down. Let’s get our act in gear Hasbro! 2006 better bring Queen Frostine back with a vengeance.

3 thoughts on “Killer Queen

  • 1/19/2006 at 6:18 pm

    I never played Candyland, though I am slightly familiar with the game.

    I would agree that the 1985 Frostine has the highest hot-ness factor. Plus, look at her pose. She seems just so approachable and down-to-earth, for a sugary queen, that is.

    I wouldn’t go so far as saying that 2002 brought a “major downfall”. It’s a downfall, to be noted, but I wouldn’t say that it would be major. If her change could be summarized into one word, it would be “sororitized”. Look at the ends of her hair. And the cheek (and other?) implants. And that hand on hip that screams, “Oh, I *know* that you want me.”

    And yeah, Hasbro screwed up the Queen in 2005. Demoting her to a princess, clothing her in pink, giving her ice skates and sparkles… She looks like a high-maintenance diva. I don’t want a piece of that. In fact, I don’t really know if I want her helping my quest to the promised land of Candy.

    I have a set of Russian playing cards, and I remember I was playing with them several years back, and the queen of clubs was hot, and I announced such to my tablemates. Through the course of the evening, I forget which card game we were playing, but that card had an uncanny ability to come up in my hand or whatever at the appropriate time. Everyone laughed, and I blushed. I’ll have to see if I can track those cards down.

  • 1/19/2006 at 6:39 pm

    you were so sad when i showed you that picture of elderly frostine in the candyland video.

    i’ve always been a Mr. Mint kind of girl myself.
    and he still looks fantastic.
    just sayin’.

  • 1/19/2006 at 10:21 pm

    You win, most obscurely wierd and yet alarmingly troubling post ever. Way to bring the real issues of the day to light, man.
    I was always a King Kandy kinda (scandalous!) guy. Not that he’s attractive, just so comfortingly happy and delicious looking.
    Seriously though, way to go with this post.


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