Category: RollerDerby

Saturday’s roller derby after party was really hilarious. But first, some background. Early on Saturday, math legend Tim Sweetster picked me up from the airport in Chicago and we started our trek up to Grand Rapids. Tim’s fun to travel with because he knows a lot of obscure math theories and laws. And since I love geeking it up, we had some fun conversations while we drove north (books aplenty – Euclid’s law of infinite primes – the probability law of three – general actuarial oddities – the list goes on).

Eventually we got to Grand Rapids, snagged a quick bite and headed over to the track. I kinda assumed we’d be one of few CT fans who took the trip out to Michigan, but I felt even more happy that we made the effort as we were welcomed so graciously by the Connecticut Roller Girls.

It was really fun being the only Connecticut fans in the crowd. Tim and I cheered like crazy. I’d like to think that our vocal chord annihilation helped contribute to Connecticut’s massive come-back in the second half of Saturday’s bout – but that might be a bit of a stretch.

After the bout, Tim and I zipped over to the after party. Admittedly, I haven’t been to many roller derby after parties. But those I have been to have been fairly tame. Just a bunch of fun people at a bar. Occasionally something intense might happen like a hula hoop demonstration by Pam Terror (whoa) – but as far as I am aware, these are fairly rare occurrences. Grand Rapids, however, was really unique.

The bar of choice was kinda half-bar/half club. And the clientele were of all facets of life. Tim and I chatted with a few roller girls for awhile and then joined the dance floor for hours and hours of complete hilarity. The Roller Girls are exactly as much fun as one would expect. Between the dance antics of Rinko Starr, Bonnie Voyage, and MizConSepJen (which might have been the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen) and Pepper Grindher’s free spiritedness – the night was definitely one to remember.

Mostly though, it was just really great to hang out with such fun personalities. I think to be a roller girl you probably have to be fun by default. So I send out my thanks to the roller girls for sharing their fun with us on Saturday night. It was a great time!

During a typical Roller Derby season, Connecticut’s Stepford Sabotage frequently head out on the road bringing mayhem to cities throughout the eastern US. Grand Rapids, Michigan, however, is quite a hike even for the traveling team. While this bout marked the conclusion of the Connecticut season, it marked the start of the Grand Raggidy All-Stars fall season. Both teams were eager to bookend their season with a win.

This particular bout was an interesting blend of strategy heavy slow-pack roller derby, and fast action hard hitting traditional derby. Slow derby (stroller derby?), when utilized in power jams, results in very high scoring jams. Eight jams in this bout saw more than ten points earned! (Daaaaang!) Multiple skaters looped the track! Grand Raggidy skaters Hodi Chit and Mira Maheiny scored 60 and 39 points respectively with CT’s Milla Lowlife right behind them with 36 points.

The game started close. Despite Grand Raggidy’s impressive control of lead jammer status (14 of 18 in the first half) CT was able to keep things tight, and held the lead at 20 to 18 going into the 9th jam. Then, quite suddenly, Hodi Chit broke free in the ninth lapping the pack three times for 14 points and a significant boost for Raggidy. She did it again just a few jams later with a 19 point power jam!! The breakaway left CT in dire straits heading into the second half with a 53 point deficit (90 to 37).

One fun aside to all roller derby bouts are the fun activities during half time and this night was no different. Grand Rapids spared no effort in their Halloween themed halftime show. Zombie skaters took to the track as the lights dimmed and the opening theme of Michael Jackson’s Thriller started booming through the arena. Thriller on skates? Every bit as great as one would expect.

At some point within the intermission, Coach Crotchless inspired the Connecticut players. They came back to the track a new team. Doomcake and Murphy grabbed lead jammer status in the first two jams showing a renewed vigor for CT.

The third and fourth jams were tainted with injuries. First, Rosie Root Canal suffered a strong hit early in the
third. Then, Murphy collapsed after miraculously pulling in eleven points quite possibly while suffering from a brutal hit. As she fell to the floor the Grand Rapids fans sitting behind me applauded Murphy’s tenacity: “If I had been hit that hard,” the fan declared, “i would have fallen immediately. This girl kept skating!”

The game took a dramatic turn in the twelfth jam. C Mya Rage took advantage of a penalty by Mira Maheiny and snagged 14 points for the girls in black. Milla followed suit with 14 points of her own after Livingstun Guns was also sent out on a penalty. In just two jams the game went from a slaughter to a tight chase.

The Stepford Sabotage weren’t able to fully recover from the first half, but their vigorous rally made for an extremely exciting second half. Grand Raggidy took the bout with a final score of 140 to 108.

STATISTICS!
The Stepford Sabotage
Milla LowLife 36 points (6 lead in 13 jams)
C Mya Rage 23 points (2 lead in 11 jams)
Murphy’s Outlaw 22 points (2 lead in 3 jams)

The Grand Raggidy All-Stars
Hodi Chit 60 points (6 leads in 11 jams)
Mira Maheiny 39 points (8 leads in 9 jams)
Lindsey Blowhan 16 points (4 leads in 12 jams)

Great job to all the players of both teams. This bout was so captivating! Despite the early breakaway for the Grand Raggidy All Stars, I think the two teams were fairly evenly matched. Seeing this bout was worth every mile traveled.

If you’re interested in enjoying some Roller Derby action, check out Connecticut’s B team, the Yankee Brutals, who will be playing on November thirteenth against the Alley Kats of Queen City. Visit the CTRG website for more information!

(tune in tomorrow for the recap of the after party)

There was no shortage of action on Saturday in the furious fight between Connecticut’s Yankee Brutals and Providence’s Killah Bees. The final score of 141 (RI) to 83 (CT) does little to tell the tale of the intensity and spirit of Saturday’s players. Both teams had remarkable jams. Leonardo DeCapitator finished with a flawless lead jammer record, The Phury visited the jamming line 12 times and performed with impressive consistency, and Pam Terror brought hope back to Connecticut again and again with her resilience.

It’s been quite awhile since Connecticut hosted Providence at the Connecticut Sports Center. The Yankee Brutals had a challenge on their hands as the Killah Bees (even with quite a few inexperienced fresh faces amongst their ranks) have been recently holding an undefeated record. But to discount Connecticut from the start would have been a fatal error. Connecticut came out hitting hard under experienced pivot Girl Fawkes and co-captain Rinko Starr. Halfway into the first period, the two team’s scores differed only by one strong jam.

The scores were built on an unusually high number of grand slams (courtesy of Pam Terror, Ruca A. Salt, and Leonardo DeCapitator). At one point the M.C. hilariously noted that if Leonardo DeCapitator made any more Grand Slams she’d be promoted to head waitress at Dennys!

It wasn’t long, however, before Connecticut began to struggle against the devastating defensive put up by the likes of Providence Captain Cindy Lou Screw, Shamblock, and Funke Punke Monke. Connecticut, unable to break through the aforementioned wall of Killah Bees, fell into a trying drought of lead jamming statuses.

Pam Terror finally broke the trend once in the 14th and again in the 16th jam giving Connecticut a breath of momentum to start the second period off right.

Two jams in the second half truly highlighted the spirit and professionalism of the skaters. The first during a match up between Yankke Brutal Shiny Toy Buns and Killah Bee Ruca A. Salt. The Killah Bees were showing an impressive dominance on the line, but Shiny Tony Buns was still fighting as hard as ever. Having almost broken through the pack, Shiny took a strong hit. She fell to her knees but immediately – without even the slightest delay – thrust herself powerfully up to her feet and kept driving forward, securing lead jammer status. What determination!

Immediately after Shiny’s jam, The Phury demonstrated her skills with exceptional timing. The Phury managed to skate through the pack quickly to snag lead jamming status – but she was having trouble breaking through the pack a second time for points. Pam Terror, skating at the top of her game, finally broke free of the Killah Bee defense and started to close in on The Phury’sposition. Just as Pam circled around again to reach the pack of Killah Bee’s, The Phury ended the jam. Her timing was flawless.

The bout concluded with a strong final showing by the local girls. Rinko Starr, Pam Terror, and Murphy’s Outlaw collectively brought in 39 points in the final 5 jams. Sadly for the Connecticut fans, this was not enough to bridge the gap between the two teams. Final score: Killah Bee’s 141, Yankee Brutals 83

Let’s talk statistics!

Lead Scorers
The Yankee Brutals
Pam Terror with 43 points in 10 jams (6 leads)
Murphy’s Outlaw 20 points in 3 jams (1 lead)
Shiny Toy Buns 9 points in 6 jams (1 lead)

The Killah Bees
The Phury with 53 points in 12 jams (9 leads)
Ruca A. Salt with 44 points in 9 jams (5 leads)
Leonardo DeCapitator 26 points in 4 jams (4 leads)

MVPs
Yankee Brutals: Pam Terror for her hard skating and great speed
Killah Bees: Leonardo DeCapitator for capturing lead jammer status every time she stood on the jamming line

Working with ChopSaw, I was able to get some more accurate statistics for this bout. I took the liberty of geeking out and putting the data into Excel.

For the Connecticut data, click here.

For the Providence data, click here.

Perhaps most noticeable in the data is the Killah Bee’s dominance with securing lead jammer status (20 successful leads vs. the yankee brutal’s 10).

This coming weekend the Connecticut Roller Girls will be heading out to Grand Rapids Michigan to take on the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls. Their next home bout will be on November 13th with the Yankee Brutals vs. Alley Kats of Queen City Roller Derby. Find more information here!

For the Providence readers amongst us, you can check out the Old Money Honey’s taking on the Sakonnet River Roller Rats in Providence on November 6th. Find more details here!

Great job to all the players and organizers!