Roller Derby in Grand Rapids!

During a typical Roller Derby season, Connecticut’s Stepford Sabotage frequently head out on the road bringing mayhem to cities throughout the eastern US. Grand Rapids, Michigan, however, is quite a hike even for the traveling team. While this bout marked the conclusion of the Connecticut season, it marked the start of the Grand Raggidy All-Stars fall season. Both teams were eager to bookend their season with a win.

This particular bout was an interesting blend of strategy heavy slow-pack roller derby, and fast action hard hitting traditional derby. Slow derby (stroller derby?), when utilized in power jams, results in very high scoring jams. Eight jams in this bout saw more than ten points earned! (Daaaaang!) Multiple skaters looped the track! Grand Raggidy skaters Hodi Chit and Mira Maheiny scored 60 and 39 points respectively with CT’s Milla Lowlife right behind them with 36 points.

Mira Maheiny rockin' the electric blue tights

The game started close. Despite Grand Raggidy’s impressive control of lead jammer status (14 of 18 in the first half) CT was able to keep things tight, and held the lead at 20 to 18 going into the 9th jam. Then, quite suddenly, Hodi Chit broke free in the ninth lapping the pack three times for 14 points and a significant boost for Raggidy. She did it again just a few jams later with a 19 point power jam!! The breakaway left CT in dire straits heading into the second half with a 53 point deficit (90 to 37).

Bonnie and Parker try to hold back Lindsey Blowhan

One fun aside to all roller derby bouts are the fun activities during half time and this night was no different. Grand Rapids spared no effort in their Halloween themed halftime show. Zombie skaters took to the track as the lights dimmed and the opening theme of Michael Jackson’s Thriller started booming through the arena. Thriller on skates? Every bit as great as one would expect.


At some point within the intermission, Coach Crotchless inspired the Connecticut players. They came back to the track a new team. Doomcake and Murphy grabbed lead jammer status in the first two jams showing a renewed vigor for CT.

Doomcake struggles to break through a mob of skaters

The third and fourth jams were tainted with injuries. First, Rosie Root Canal suffered a strong hit early in the
third. Then, Murphy collapsed after miraculously pulling in eleven points quite possibly while suffering from a brutal hit. As she fell to the floor the Grand Rapids fans sitting behind me applauded Murphy’s tenacity: “If I had been hit that hard,” the fan declared, “i would have fallen immediately. This girl kept skating!”

The game took a dramatic turn in the twelfth jam. C Mya Rage took advantage of a penalty by Mira Maheiny and snagged 14 points for the girls in black. Milla followed suit with 14 points of her own after Livingstun Guns was also sent out on a penalty. In just two jams the game went from a slaughter to a tight chase.

Milla struggles to recover from a strong hit by Garden Ho

The Stepford Sabotage weren’t able to fully recover from the first half, but their vigorous rally made for an extremely exciting second half. Grand Raggidy took the bout with a final score of 140 to 108.

The Stepford Sabotage
Milla LowLife 36 points (6 lead in 13 jams)
C Mya Rage 23 points (2 lead in 11 jams)
Murphy’s Outlaw 22 points (2 lead in 3 jams)

The Grand Raggidy All-Stars
Hodi Chit 60 points (6 leads in 11 jams)
Mira Maheiny 39 points (8 leads in 9 jams)
Lindsey Blowhan 16 points (4 leads in 12 jams)

Great job to all the players of both teams. This bout was so captivating! Despite the early breakaway for the Grand Raggidy All Stars, I think the two teams were fairly evenly matched. Seeing this bout was worth every mile traveled.

If you’re interested in enjoying some Roller Derby action, check out Connecticut’s B team, the Yankee Brutals, who will be playing on November thirteenth against the Alley Kats of Queen City. Visit the CTRG website for more information!

(tune in tomorrow for the recap of the after party)

One thought on “Roller Derby in Grand Rapids!

  • 10/27/2010 at 9:12 am

    Thanks for making the trip Mike, ALWAYS nice to have one familiar face in the crowd!

    After party recap? uh oh…..

    AND on the 13th, the Sabotage will be taking on the CT Death Quads in a half hour expo bout before the Brutals game!

    <3 Fawkes


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