Category: Features

Poll for the week of August 4 – August 11, 2002

The Question:

On a battledome racetrack, who would win? The Turtle Van from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or the souped-up A-Team van?

The Response Starters:

1. Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because…
2. With Mr. T at the wheel, the a-team van would crush the turtle van because…

THE WINNER:

Mullins: With Mr. T at the wheel, the a-team van would crush the turtle van because the ninja turtles were just cartoons and im pretty sure if you lack the ability to self-animate, than you most likely will have the inability to produce a winning time. It’s all in the technicalities. However if we decide to disregard this fact as valid and think about each opponent on the same level of existance, we will have to agree that Mr. T’s gold may interfere with his way with the ladies, driving abilities and neck movement; as well as weigh down the automobile. In addition to the exploration of the lack of power that the T-Van would have, we can also agree that with the massive gadgetry Infused in the heart and soul of the Turtle Van it could outwit and hazards that would confront them on the way to the finish line….

HONORABLE MENTION:

Marc Sawaya: Mike D! You’re not there, but I’m just saying hello from Utah anyway. I hope everything rocks on your side of the country, rest assured I’m keeping things in control over here. The West has almost succumbed to my relentless dictatorship campaign. In fact, soon everyone out here will be driving about in TMNT vans, while the east coast stays to their stubborn A-Team ways.

Shaun McQuaid: Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because Donatello is representative of the daring engineer who lairs deep within all WPI students. The A-Team, while cool, isn’t known for their engineering prowess. Donatello could throw a few tricky upgrades into that van, and smoke the team.

AND THE REST….In no particular order

Alex: Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because I mean really, do you think the A-Team van could withstand a battering of pizzas from the Turtle Van’s pizza cannon? I don’t think so.

Katie: With Mr. T at the wheel, the a-team van would crush the turtle van because the A-Team always had a much cooler lunch box back in the day. wait a second, I think the turtles came after my family stopped taking packed lunches… there may be a flaw in my argument, but I stand by it nontheless.

Vinayak: Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because (insert reason)it’s a cartoon, u can do what u want even ride on the cieling.

Ben: I pity the fool who messes with the A-Team van. That thing has driven through everything, over everthing. Whats the turtle van gonna do? Throw pizzas. Plus the A-Team van has enough room for Mr. T to get his thang on later.

Sarto: Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because you just know Michelangelo’s in the back smokin’ a doobie.

Theresa: Turtle Power! The Turtle Van would win because the turtle had so much cooler of a theme song, but Mr. T had all the gold to weigh down his car

Last night I got a phone call from my sister Alicia. She played backup for Ben Folds last night with the pops. The set list was:

Zak and Sara
Jesusland
Gracie
Lullabye
Brick
Not the Same
Narcolepsy

This performance was unlike the typical Pops show. Halfway through the program, there was a scream from the Audience. Something was wrong… but our man Kieth Lockhart kept the music going. A few moments later, more screaming… this time with all sorts of shuffling. What was going on?!?!

The Drama is Documented here.

But what really happened?

Well, my inside source (alicia) has informed me that Perpetrator #1 (let’s call him RudeDude) was on a cell phone during the performance. Perpetrator #2 (let’s call him JusticeLeague) did not approve of this improper behavior. So he tapped the guy on the shoulder and told him to Cut it out. RudeDude did not cut it out.

So JusticeLeague decided to go inform the authorities. He did just that. He got up, and tried to get an usher to kick this guy out.

He returned a few seconds later, without an usher. RudeDude was still on the phone.

JusticeLeague slapped him across the head with his pamphlet. RudeDude did not like this, so he punched the guy in the stomach twice.

At this moment, a woman (let’s call her LadyDistress) let out a scream. Kieth Lockhart looked up into the crowds, but kept the music going.

Shortly thereafter, LadyDistress screamed again. This time a full fledged brawl had broken out between RudeDude and JusticeLeague. One of the two men even lost his shirt in the fiasco. In all the fury and mayhem, Kieth Lockhart stopped the music and waited for the disorder to end.

Afterwards, my sister was talking to a few of the older Pops members. One of them pointed out that this is exactly what happens when you bring “this type of music” into Symphony Hall.