EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the final AIM Poll post. It’s definitely the best in my book – simply looking at the number of responses, Mike D really hit a chord with his AIM list on this one. I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane – I certainly did.
Poll for the week of September 9 – September 16, 2002
The Question:
Who would win in a staring contest: Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat, or Danny DeVito?
The Response Starters:
1. No one messes with Danny DeVito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because…
2. Down Down Up High Kick High Kick. The skillful Liu Kang would outlast that actor any day because…
Message from Mike D: Impressive answers. Although Danny DeVito took down the Asian fighter 7 to 4, it was a great match up. I awarded a few extra titles because y’all deserve ’em.
THE WINNERS:
Flawless Victory
Shamus: well it depends, if it was the clay puppet danny from the Nestea commercials, it would be no contest, but vs the real devito lui kang would deliver the finishing uppercut off the swinging bridge into the spike pit.
Test Your Might (packed with humor)
The Sarto: Well, it depends, if the staring contest were limited to just staring and not trying to make the other one laugh with silly faces or sounds. Then DeVito would win all the way. He’s got that “I’m Really Short Which Puts Me in Prime Nut Biting Position” kind of intimidation factor. If, however noises and facial expressions were allowed all Liu Kang would have to do is hold down the low kick button for 4 seconds to unleash his infamous bicycle kick which sounds like a turkey chasing it’s own head after it’s been lopped off. This my friend, is far too funny a sound for even disgruntled midgets to ignore.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Friendship
Alex: If Liu Kang can beat shape-shifting, soul-stealing, Shang Tsung in a battle to protect Earth, go to the Outworld and kick Shao Kahn’s immortal ass, then do it again back on Earth (not to mention going off to fight a fallen elder god after all of that), then he can beat the tiny italian (or anybody for that matter) at a staring contest.
Steve: This is a tough one…on one hand you’ve got a really good fighter who can throw energy blasts with both his hands and feet who just so happens to be animated, while on the other, you’ve got an angry, fat, short guy with a huge amount of money. If forced to choose I’d have to go with Danny Devito because even if he couldn’t defeat Kang himself, his crazy ass wife Rhea Perlman would bust in and go old school Cheers fighting and nagging on Kang, which would be sure to get him.
The “Get Shorty” award (Megan’s really short)
Megan: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because short people always win, because tall people suck. It’s because the air is a lot thinner up there.
Most Original
S. McQuaid: No one messes with Danny DeVito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he’s short. And….good Lord, he’s on fire! Where are the fire extinguishers!?!?! Wait, he’s….he’s FLYING! Danny DeVito is levitating like a madman! HE JUST PULLED HIS LIVER OUT!!!!!
AND THE REST…in no particular order:
Amanda: seriously, danny devito is a midget and midgets belong in the circus. Circus folk are well equiped for such freakish things as never blinking and thus danny would win…smelling like cabbage and all.
Colin (buckley, that is): Liu Kang would win hands down because his squinty asian eyes would make it impossible to tell if he was blinking or not, and he could probably take a nap without anyone noticing, then wake up and declare himself the flawless victor.
Erin: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he has those beady little eyes that prolly glaze over with some kind of film when he keeps em open which prolly makes it so he can keep em open really long which prolly means that he’d win.
KACaperton: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he is just funny looking and that is the key to a good staring contest winner.
The Vinayak Award
Vinayak: Down Down Up High Kick High Kick. The skillful lui kang would outlast that actor any day because who cares? All that matters is Kang can kick Divito’s ass
The “Look Who’s Talking award (first time entry)
Colin (not the buckley one): No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because Kang would have to laugh at that little bald head
The Look Who’s Talking 2 award (another first time entry)
Susie: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because hes the man ;-)
