A Series of Unfortunate Events

Every once in awhile, life kicks you when you’re down.

Shamus, currently residing in New Jersey, had the pleasure of experiencing this first hand recently. It started with the untimely death of his vehicle.

Wednesday 10/2
Shamus brought his Lancer into the shop as it was making a disconcerting rattle. The rattle turned out to be the frame which was rusted out to the point where the engine was at the brink of launching itself out of the vehicle and hurdling down the street. Add some other loose heat sheilds and inconveniences, and Shamus decided it was due time to buy new.

Friday 10/4
Hastened by the complete failure of the Lancer, Shamus moved quickly on a new car. That Friday, Shamus decided on a 2013 Corolla.

Sunday 10/6
The clouds darkened in deep foreboding, foreshadowing Shamus’s pending torment.

Monday 10/7 14:30:00
The new 2013 Corolla was delivered.

Monday 10/7 15:16:00

A tornado touches down in New Jersey.

New Jersey, which averages about 3 tornados per year, decided to specifically target Shamus. The funnel touched down in a park just to the North East of Shamus’s location. It then b-lined it directly to Shamus’s car where it crushed it under a tree.

The Path.
The Path.

Fun fact: the other marks on that map are where Shamus and his family were residing at the time of the incident.


Shamus, do keep us updated on whether you get reimbursement for this fiasco. This is really lousy. All that aside, I’m glad you and your loved ones are unharmed.

2 thoughts on “A Series of Unfortunate Events

  • 10/16/2013 at 2:35 pm

    i think the universe says get something other than a Corolla

    • 10/17/2013 at 7:51 am


      This is the quintessential Jon Abad comment.


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