I suspect that the collapse of the United States (or humanity as we know it!) may very well have been predicted by my can opener. Or perhaps I should say can openers. We at the House of Rock have gone through 3 can openers in as many years. This seems ridiculous to me. It’s not that they are failing in sharpness and need to be sharpened, they are actually falling to pieces.
Means of failure:
1. Squeeze failure: The gears seem have migrated apart. To get the thing to cut you have to pull the handles to the left and right before scissoring them together – the success rate of this maneuver is low.
2. Gear failure: The gear separated from the cutting tool so the gear will spin but the cutting tool won’t.
3. Complete failure: The blade and gearing fell off in a catastrophic explosion of parts.
There are two alarming things here. The first is the failure of seemingly quality goods. That third can opener on the list was a kitchen aid – a reputable brand! Has the need for low cost goods undermined our ability to provide a sustainable product? I remember Schenk was telling me about a dude whose environmental argument is not focused around the materials or methods used in production as much as around the physical life of the end product. Three can openers in three years is pathetic.
The second alarming thing here is that I didn’t spend time to fix any of these can openers. Instead, I just tossed them and went out to buy a new one. The ease and cheapness of buying and discarding goods discourages fixing them. I can’t imagine that this is a good thing for our sustainability.
First, totally agree. Second we have a pretty great can opener, brand recommended by Andrew I think. I can’t remember what it is but I’ll check when I get home, if your still looking for recomendations. We’ve had it for at least 7 years and it works great.
I think this might tell us more about the House of Rock than the United States. 3 broken can openers! I’ve never broken a can opener in my life.
Well, we are indeed a ferocious bunch.
My oxo has lasted about 6 yrs now…
I have to side with Mike D on this one. I seem to go through an exorbitant amount of can openers. I have to admit that I don’t necessarily invest in top quality brands though. The electric ones seem to work well and have a long shelf life, though they are bulky and more expensive. Maybe the CT climate adversely impacts the life span of can openers everywhere.
That’s why I prefer to steal kitchenware from dead relatives’ houses. I don’t trust the product obsolescence strategists.
Maybe there is a relationship with rock climbers and the breaking of can openers. You shouldn’t practice grip technique with the can openers, guys.
We have an OXO brand can opener that is now rendered useless.
I wonder if the cheapness and propensity to falling apart is premeditated, or if they’re simply made out of the cheapest materials possible?
i’ve had the same smooth edge can opener for at least 4 years… i think its an oxo… i don’t recall and its in a box somewhere so i can’t check.
I am so excited to someday inherit my great grandparents cast iron skillets from my parents. I’ll probably have to wait until I’m very old, but then I can have some 150 year old cast iron, it’ll be awesome.
maybe you should consider only buying pop-top cans.
Maybe you should stop being a wimp and kung-fu those cans open.
Sorry I’m late (I was in Ohio — WOOOO!!). My brand is Swing-A-Way. No idea why they are like 100x better than other brands, but they clearly are. I’ve had mine for probably 6 years now, and it’s still as good as new.
Swing-A-Way is an awesome brand. My husband had one when we got together, and we’re still using it 8+ years later. My parents used them, and I only remember one time we needed a new one. The grip wore out before the gears did.
Truth on this, the old can openers are the best. Ours was 15 years old when we got it, still works like a charm.
Just looked it up… that is what ours is. Ours is hella old too, still works great. My parents have had the same one since before I was born. They don’t break.