March 20th. 12:40am. Mike D sits drearily in bed bathed in the light from his computer monitor. The room is otherwise dark.
Ryan: MIKE D! What are you doing up so late?!
Mike D: I can’t sleep
Ryan: aw man, that happens to me sometimes. Sometimes I get all worked up about how I’m not sleeping, and it just makes me not sleep even more.
Mike D: Yeah, that’s usually what happens to me too.
Ryan: Did you know that I have chronic insomnia?
Mike D: I did not know this.
Ryan: It’s true. I don’t sleep very well. I never have, since I was about 3 (according to my mom).
Mike D: I feel your pain. This stinks.
Ryan: Ruth thinks it’s my karmatic payment for being so awesome
Mike D: ha ha ha ha ha
30 min later….
Mike D: Ugh, Sarah I can’t sleep.
Sarah: aww Mike D. That stinks
Mike D: yeah. I hate it when this happens.
Sarah: Why can’t you sleep?
Mike D: I have no idea.
Sarah: Maybe it’s nature’s way of balancing the fact that you’re so awesome during the day.
And there you have it folks! Insomnia explained through two independently developed theories.