I scrolled through a few old posts that I put up that quoted my mom in funny scenarios. Here’s a sampler:
While discussing one of the more conservative priests at my local parish
mom: and some people don’t like how strict he is with his refusal to marry couples that live together. now, I think it’s important to stand by your convictions. If you start letting one or two things slip the next thing you know, you’re Episcopalian!
I call my mom from a Georgia business trip…
mike d: the weather is really nice. the sun is shining and there’s a light breeze.
mom: wow, that sounds great! It’s freezing here and there’s 4 feet of snow on the ground.
mike d: hey! a butterfly just flew by!
mom: hey! a frozen bird just fell from the tree!
The day of my sister’s wedding
Mom: Mike, see if you can time your shower downstairs so that it starts right when Alicia gets in the shower upstairs. You’ll steal all her hot water.
My dad tells a story
Dad D: and Mike C. played guitar. He was driving along one day and found a barrel. A big giant wooden barrel. He put straps on it and wore it as a costume. Like the hobos. In general everyone wore costumes. That was the big deal. I got this thing like an oriental robe… it had all sorts of sparkles and gold… something that a movie character might wear… and I had a blue feathered clown wig.
Mom: you know listening to this, I can’t believe I married you.
I love that first one. :)