There was a guy at the Midway airport that was fantastic.
His job, among other things I’m sure, was to page the whole airport and let them know if something was left behind at the security checkpoint. Here are a few quotes:
“Attention, if you are the owner of a bracelet made up of small colorful stones please report to the security checkpoint. You have left your bracelet behind. It is a small bracelet with what appear to be gems on it. Please come retrieve your bracelet if you want your wrist to be pretty once again.”
“Someone has left a black umbrella at the security checkpoint, if it is yours please return to retrieve it. The forcast shows heavy rains in the future and without this umbrella, you’re going to get soaked. So please come to retrieve your umbrella.”
“Attention males! Check your waist line! Is your belt missing? If so, come to the security checkpoint to retrieve your brown belt. If you do not, your pants may fall down and you will probably be very embarassed.”
“Airline passengers! One of you has left your poster at the security checkpoint. Please come get it. Otherwise I will take it home when my shift ends and place it in my living room.”