The flight to Kileen TX

Last night Sander blew it again. He mistakenly booked a flight that flew from Dallas to Kileen two hours later than he needed to. As I had smartly booked the earlier flight, we decided to try and see if Sander could get on stand-by so that we wouldn’t have to waste any time waiting around.

Sander got on Stand-by and the plane started to load. I got on first and took my seat at the back. Time passed and so0n I saw Sander’s face appeared in the plane’s doorway. He caught my eye and gave me a smug thumbs up. We were good to go.

He sat down near the front, and started to relax when suddenly over the intercom I heard “Sander Van Twisk?”

“That’s me, What’s wrong?” he asked the flight attendant.
“I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to take the next flight.”
“but there are plenty of seats available!” he stammered
“Unfortunately the plane is over the weight limit.”


This trip is turning out to be awesome.

10 thoughts on “The flight to Kileen TX

  • 3/13/2006 at 2:05 pm

    Its so difficult to type from the floor but I think I can manage. Proof that Sander is fatest of the fat.

  • 3/13/2006 at 2:19 pm

    I’m going to start a game show based on sander… contestants would bet on things related to sander, e.g.:

    We’ve give Sander Van Twisk a freshly sharpened pencil, contestants must place bets on how long it will take him to injure himself with it.

    The winner would have bet on 5 seconds or less. Bonus points if they predicted eye injury.

  • 3/14/2006 at 1:59 am

    I’d like to point out that Mike has laughed, cummulatively, for more time than he had to wait because of my later flight.

    But it’s all true, except for the stammering part. I shrugged my shoulders, and said “but…” while pointing to several empty seats nearby. They were not nice at all about any of this. I’m going to sue: And with my newfound wealth, obtain the stock majority of Sarah Lee, thus rerouting every pie truck delivery to my house.


  • 3/14/2006 at 10:59 am

    Mike left out the best part of the story (as he related it to me). After Sander got off the plane, they had to move not one, but TWO people from the back of the plane to the front to rebalance the weight for take off…

    It just never fails to amuse, but always fails to surprise me the extent to which Sander’s fat disrupts the world around him. One might liken it to a gravitational pull.

  • 3/14/2006 at 11:46 am

    As a guy who works in the commercial aviation industry, I’d like to know what kind of plane you guys were flying on. Was it one of those regional jets or turboprops? I can’t imagine a larger plane kicking you off because of payload. I’m also wondering if there was something pretty heavy in the cargo area. Because it wouldn’t make sense for an airplane manufacturer (or an airline) to build (or fly) planes that can only operate at 90% capacity, even during the statistical rarity that everyone on board is Sander sized.

  • 3/14/2006 at 5:11 pm

    I should say, recently I flew from Toronto to Bradley with Air Canada Jazz, and we were on one of the following two planes, I don’t remember which exactly:

    Those are the only two on their website with props (and mine had props), but the one I was on had only 1 seat on either side of the aisle, so the seating plans don’t match up with what I was on exactly. It was even smaller than they are showing. Sort of beside the point anyway. They don’t give the cargo capacity for these guys, which leads me to believe it not so great.

    Before take off, they told us we had “just enough fuel to get us home if we left right then”. However, there was a long line to take off, so they said if we taxied out and waited the half hour or so, we’d burn too much fuel and not make it home. The two offerred solutions:

    1) Dump all the checked baggage and have it come on a plane the next morning (everyone flipped out)

    2) Wait a few hours for the line to die down and take off right then without spending fuel to wait in a line (which is what we ended up doing)

    The moral of this story is: If Sander is not on your flight, there are options, but if he is, something’s gotta give (besides his belt of course).


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