It was a bummer morning.
After strategically choosing to wear a sweater over my shirt and tie today in order to avoid the time consuming task of ironing, I realized that I had no clean khakis. and my black pants would so obviously clash with the brown sweater.
So I reached into my “ripped pants” pile. and pulled out the Linen Wonder. White Linen Pants (WLP). and let me tell you, they are hott*
I also grabbed some thread and yarn and figured I’d close that rip right up in no time.
I was wrong. It took a solid 20 minutes for me to stitch the tear. But once it was done, I felt satisfied. Unfortunately, I was already pretty late so I rushed through breakfast and grabbed soup for lunch. then as I was rushing out the door, I put my shoes on and immediately tore apart the seam I had just repaired.
As I was already late, I decided to just go with it. So I’m wearing pants with a tear the size of an orange slice in the lower right buttocks. I suspect I’ll remain at my desk for most of today.
*two T’s means “extra”
14 thoughts on “Rip.”
Ha! Poor Mike. Instead of Yarn Butt you get to be Look At My Butt.
You have a ripped pants pile? It Connecticut covered in barbed wire?
Back in high school, I had a problem with my cargo shorts and pants losing fly buttons. So I repaired them with a safety pin and mini caribiners. Combine that with my nylon camping belts that I used, and the frame pack I used as my school backpack…. I was the recipient of many “Goin’ Campin’?” insults from my peers.
I live here and I’m surprised by this ripped pants pile!
I have to say though… I did develop a rip on the knee of my favorite pair of jeans since i moved here…
I have no such easy get-outs as sweaters to avoid ironing. If I wore anything on top of my shirt to work I would end up sweating buckets. They have the fucking heating on maximum there, it seems.
you would sweat out buckets?
indeed. I have a ripped pants pile.
I rip a lot of pants.
I wouldn’t literally sweat buckets out of my skin. That would be silly and probably lethal. It’s a figure of speech, man.
I don’t question whether or not there is a pile of ripped pants…
The question here is how do you go about ripping so many pants? Do you wear lots of low-quality or old pants? Or do you manuever your legs such that ripping becomes common? Maybe it’s where you wear your pants? Sharp objects?
Color me perplexed.
it’s funny to think about.
It may just be I’m an active sort of individual who doesn’t let his pants hold him back. . . or perhaps its all the women constantly trying to tear off my clothes.
clever. Death by ripping is amazingly clever.
It must be the women. (Color me jealous.)
Orienteering is a sport that is ripe for ripping pants, as you you run through thorns, branches, rocks, bushes, and cacti without consideration. In my few years of orienteering, I’ve worn four different pairs of shorts/pants, and I’ve only gotten a small rip (pea sized) in one of them. And that was from barbed wire.
… kind of like when Magneto pulled the adamantium off of Wolverines skeleton through his pores. Only bucket-shaped drops of regular metal instead of droplets of adamantium.