Category: RollerDerby

On Saturday May 14th, the Connecticut Roller Girls met in Woodbridge for a charity bout to support Girls Inc, an organization whose goal is to inspire girls into greatness. Charity bouts are extra fun because they provide the unique opportunity to see only Connecticut skaters on the track. It’s always exciting to see a wealth of hometown players in action. And on Saturday, the action was plentiful.

The two teams were made up of a mix of Stepford Sabotage, Yankee Brutals, and rookies. In theme with Girls Inc, the two teams were named after historical women champions: The Marie Curie Furies, and the Frida Kahlo Killers -it was a showdown of Science vs. Art!! Logic vs. Intuition!! A lot was riding on the fierce will of these skated vixens.

The bout started with Paula G. Imnaughty skating with the Furies facing off against Slugg’er Face with the Killers. The pack started off slow, though this was not a reoccurring theme of the night. Paula G. quickly flexed her experience and wove her way through the pack once, for lead, and twice for four quick points. The next jam saw experience take the gold again as Bonnie Voyage out skated Pow Pow Powerwheels, who despite securing lead, was unable to end the jam before Bonnie took in three for the Marie Curie Furies.

Paula came back a few minutes later and took 5 more points against rookie Kitty Bomb, only stopping her attack after a strong hit by Murphy’s Outlaw pushed her out of bounds. The Marie Curie Furies were on a roll! but the Frido Kahlo Killers were quick to respond to Paula’s early 9 points. Killer skaters Ether and Black Cherry followed up with nine points of their own: Ether grabbed four after Ramona was sent to the penalty box. And Black Cherry added to the tally after a stunning one skate evasion of Pepper Grind’Her’s fierce shoulder.

But Cherry couldn’t evade Pepper’s shoulder forever, she was forced to call off the jam on her next pass on the track as Pepper landed a crushing blow. Still, the damage was done! The score was tied up!

The jams were give and take until about half way through the first period when Black Cherry, Murphy’s Outlaw, Ether Bunny, Slugg’er Face, and Pow Pow Powerwheels pulled in a streak of points for the Killers. They seemed unstoppable. Even the fierce hits by the likes of Furie Scarla Hooch could not slow the artistic tide.

After a time-out, the Marie Curie Furies returned to the game invigorated and Paula and Bonnie brought their team back within a tight striking distance of the Killers. In part due to the awesome defensive maneuvers of the Marie Curie pack – special props to Ramona Rotten for her great work as Pivot in executing a hit that took out both Pow Pow Powerwheels and Malibu Slay Breeze (*error fixed), opening a hole for Science jammer Paula G.

Suddenly it was half time, and the score was 37 to 33 in favor of the artists.

During the break in action JK Elemenopee presented Girls Inc with their check! The only thing better than Roller Derby is charitable roller derby!

Once Girls Inc. was honored the Roller Girls quickly got back to work. And work they did. After some fierce competition in the first three jams of the second half, Murphy’s Outlaw and Black Cherry did some serious damage with 15 point and 10 point jams in the 4th and 5th. The Marie Curie Furies couldn’t recover from such a furious flood of Frida, though team Science certainly never gave up. Pepper Grind’her had two impressive back to back jams halfway through the second period, pulling in 12 more points for the Marie Curie Furies. Paula and Ramona followed up with 8 more in the following jams. But it wasn’t quite enough, and the bout ended with the Frida Kahlo Killers ahead 97 to 66.

This was a very entertaining bout and it was great to see so many of the new players out on the track. (Extra props to Third Degree Burns who snagged a Grand Slam her first time out as jammer!)

Let’s look at the numbers!

Lead Scorers
Frida Kahlo Killers
22 points: Slugg’er Face (3 leads in 7 jams)
20 points: Black Cherry (4 leads in 7 jams)
19 points: Murphy’s Outlaw (2 leads in 3 jams)

Marie Curie Furies
28 points: Paula G. Imnaughty (5 leads in 10 jams)
16 points: Pepper Grind’her (7 leads in 10 jams)
11 points: Bonnie Voyage (2 leads in 4 jams)

MVP’s!
This bout’s winners were very deserving. Pow Pow Powerwheels took home the MVP for the Frida Kahlo Killers having shown great strength as a jammer (12 pts and 3 leads). And Scarla Hooch was awarded MVP for the Marie Curie Furies after demonstrating appreciable skill in the pack and notable pack awareness. Great job!!

It was really fun to see some new personalities on the track. What a show! As for you, dear reader, if you’d like to learn more about CT Roller Derby head over to CTRollerDerby.com. Or, join us at the next bout on June 4th!

Hope to see you there!

My announcing gig is soon to kick off, so the time is near when I must officially decide on a Roller Derby name!! Some of the recommendations that came in were pretty awesome, let’s recap:

Dirk Flavorhouse
The Detonator
The Determinator
Spike D
Midnight Meat Train
Count Blockula
The Earl of Jam-wich
Rink Rash Randy
The Big Pierogi
Captain Suicides
Sir Talksalot
Harry Scaray
Howie Schlong
Rock Ness Monster
White Dynamite
Edward Killin’
Bout Shout DiDonato
Mic D

My personal favorites on this list are Mic D (clever but kinda boring in its same name-ness), The Earl of Jam-wich, and The Big Pierogi. In chatting with JK Elemenopee, I learned that it’s just as important to think about the shorthand version of the name which people will actually use. For example, there really isn’t one with The Big Pierogi – but with Earl of Jamwich, I’d actually just be called Earl. and that’s kinda weak. JK suggested perhaps I go with Mic D, The Earl of Jamwich.

What do you think good readers?

On Sunday May first the Stepford Sabotage headed to Waterbury for their second closed bout of the season, this time hosting the Maine Port Authorities. The last time that these two teams met in Connecticut, the Maine Port Authorities took the win with a score of 120 to 80. Since that fateful day, Connecticut has brought more skaters into their roster, some of whom show great promise with their mindful strategy and strong skating. Meanwhile, the Maine Rollergirls have been celebrating great success with their team (5 and 2) and have recently advanced from 11th to 9th in the eastern region. Quite an accomplishment, given some of the intense competition here on the East Coast.

While this bout may not have provided that edge of the seat, nail-biting competition that is so desirable in any sport, the action and strategies employed by both team provided great entertainment. Adding to the excitement were the uncommonly short jam lengths (21 in the first half, 20 in the second half) which gave an impression of a higher concentration of action.

Both teams started the bout by sending strong jammers to the line. Black Cherry for Stepford, Grim D. Mise for Maine. At the piercing sound of the whistle, both girls took off – Cherry taking the lead. She squeezed through the pack once, ending the jam promptly as Grim quickly advanced towards a potential scoring pass.

Connecitcut’s lead was short. C. Mya Rage was called out on a major penalty early in the second jam, and Maine skater Polly Gone took advantage of the opening. She scored 19 points, and started a streak that would bring Maine 45 unanswered points – yet not without fight. Ether Bunny provided a beautiful whip for Cherry in the fourth which forced Spry Icicle to end her jam early. The excitement continued in the next jam as Maine jammer Polly Gone dramatically leaping over a pile of skaters, avoiding a massive crash and looping again and again, ultimately scoring 19 more points for her team.

Cherry returned to the line in the 7th jam to earn Connecticut’s second lead jammer status for the bout, but Polly was right on her tail. Still, the CT pack did well to get to the front of the pack letting Cherry score two points before Polly could pass her first opponent. The visitors were quick to regain control however, as their pack hounded first Parker Poison then Murphy’s Outlaw in a 4 on 1 cage of blockers, allowing jammer Polly Gone to circle through as CT’s jammer Rinko Starr had to patiently wait out her time in the penalty box. Returning the favor – just a few jams later the CT blockers had their revenge as Pepper, Cherry, and Ether had a stunning triple hit on Polly giving Murphy’s Outlaw a successful break for lead jammer status.

Still, the Maine Port Authorities continued their point onslaught and by the end of the first half they led 118 to 18.

The two halves of the bout played very differently. Unfortunately, Maine’s star jammer Grim D. Mise pulled her quad in the second half and was forced to sit out. Meanwhile, Connecticut’s half time pep talk worked wonders and the hometown team came back strong securing lead jammer in 6 of the first 8 jams. The points were sparse, but the energy was commendable. Girl Fawkes had two excellent strikes where she successfully knocked the Maine jammer out of bounds and quickly stopped short to force the opposing jammer’s retreat. Shortly thereafter Cherry expertly called off a jam after Maine’s Crystal Whip opened a path for Barbara Ambush to help her limit Cherry’s point earning.

As the time ticked down, the final score stood at 174 to 48 favoring the Maine Port Authorities.
Great skating ladies!

Let’s do Statistics!!

Lead Scorers

The Maine Port Authorities
84 points – Polly Gone (6 lead in 8 jams)
37 points – Barbara Ambush (6 lead in 8 jams)
33 points – Grim D. Mise (7 lead in 13 jams)

The Stepford Sabotage
27 points – Black Cherry (9 lead in 12 jams)
7 points – Luciana Pulverotti (4 lead in 7 jams)
5 points – Pepper Grind’her (1 lead in 3 jams)

As a brief aside, it was fun to see all the skaters join in a massive embrace at the conclusion of the bout. Even after tough battle on the track, Roller Girls truly are a family.

Special thanks to all those individuals who helped make this event go down – especially to Ian Fluenza and NSO Matt for their assistance with CT stats and Punchy O’Guts for her assistance with Maine stats. Finally, a big thank you to CT skater Kitty Bomb who was kind enough to loan me her chair so I could get high quality trackside pictures in a world of comfort.

If you’re interested in learning more about Derby or coming to a CT bout, head on over to CTrollerderby.com. The next bout is a Charity bout to be held on May 14th at the CT Sports Center. What could possibly be better than Roller Derby? Charitable Roller Derby!

See you then!

It is now time for the long delayed Roller Derby recap of April 16th’s Roller Derby bout that went down at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge, CT. The Yankee Brutals hosted the Skyland Roller girls from Warren County, NJ to a busy crowd of eager Derby fans. The Connecticut ladies mostly kept control of this bout, though the New Jersey visitors stayed close within striking distance – resulting in a tighter battle than the final score suggests.

The bout began with a stunning A Capella version of the Star Spangled Banner a la Skyland skater Daisy Duke-Ya. As the crowd applauded the stunning voice of the visiting skater, CT’s Pam Terror and Skyland’s Foxy Punisher approached the jammer line.

As the ladies took off it was immediately apparent that much of this bout would be a fight of speed. While Pam broke through the pack first, Foxy was right on her tail. The first jam ended quickly – with the score split 1 to 1. Next up, Paula G. Imnaughty faced Stonehouse Becca. This time, Skyland’s Stonehouse Becca made it through the pack first and then took advantage of the Paula’s Major penalty. Stonehouse tallied 10 points. The lead was short lived however, as the tables turned in the third jam with Tiger Munition being sent to the penalty box and Dee Nasty lapping the pack four times for 20 points. Dee was aided by her pack which, much to the surprise of the Skyland girls, stopped abruptly on the track letting Dee circle again and again.

Facing the steeply sloped curve of Yankee Brutal point acquisition which vaguely resembled an intimidating quarter pipe at a skateboard park, Skyland seemed to lose some spirit. Pam followed Dee’s haul with 9 points and then Delilah Dread, a relative newcomer to CT’s ranks, scored 15 points of her own off of strong hits by Your Mom, Babe Vigoda, and Guns N’Bruises.

The local ladies were pulling ahead with a strong lead. Halfway into the first period, the score stood 66 to 21. But the Skyland Roller girls were not to be discounted. NJ’s Serial Jiller pulled in 14 points in the 9th jam, revitalizing the struggling New Jersey skaters. Jiller’s skating started a streak of lead jammer control by the visitors. Next Rosa Ruckus, then Daisy Duke-ya, and then Stonehouse. Four leads in a row – all the while, the point gap narrowing. Delilah brought down a hammer deep in the first with 17 points, but Stonehouse offset the point tsunami in the last jam with 25 points of her own. The halftime bell sounded, and the score stood 100 to 72 favoring the Yankee Brutals.

Lately, penalties and power jams (jams with one jammer in the penalty box) have seemed to be a major contributor to the derby bottom line, and this bout followed suit. Major points were awarded to each team in power jams in the first half.

Throughout the second half, there were moments where the skaters seemed to teeter on the edge of disorganization. This may have been part of the reason why the second half saw two roller girls sent from the track. The first was an expulsion of Stonehouse Becca on misconduct after an errant hit on Pam Terror. The second was Foxy who fouled out after 7 turns in the penalty box. It’s always unfortunate to see a skater have to leave the track.

Despite the loss of two of their strongest skaters, New Jersey did well to keep the pressure on Connecticut. Still, with 12 lead jams (compared to 7 for NJ), the Connecticut ladies were skating well. Especially noteworthy was Pam Terror’s aggressive style in the pack, and the impressive skating by the newer Yankees like Delilah who continued her dominant scoring into the second half and Slugg*er Face who took lead jammer in her single jam of the night, earning four points for her team.

As the bout wound to a close, the final score stood 150 to 109.

Statistics!

Lead Scorers!

The Yankee Brutals
Delilah Dread: 51 points (8 jams/5 lead)
Dee Nasty: 41 points (8 jams/2 lead)
Pam Terror: 31 points (8 jams/5 lead)

The Skyland Rollergirls
Stonehouse Becca: 47 points (7 jams/2 lead)
Foxy Punisher: 19 points (8 jams/5 lead)
Serial Jiller: 13 points (4 jams/2 lead)

MVP’s
Tiger Munition and Pam Terror!
Excellent choices for both. This pairing also provided one of the best derby pictures I’ve seen to date.

Well done Tiger and Pam!

Penalty Queens:
Skyland: Foxy Punisher with 7 majors
Yankee Brutals: Paula and Your Mom, each with 5 Maj.

Penalty tallies:
Brutals: 32 Minors, 25 Majors
Skyland: 13 Minors, 31 Majors

Special thanks to both teams and all the assisting personnel who help keep the sport of Derby alive. If you’d like to learn more about Roller Derby, check out the CT Roller Girl’s website here. Or, come check out their next bout on May 14th. Doors open at 6pm at the Connecticut Sports Center in Woodbridge. Hope to see you there!