- Remember when I was trying to train myself to sleep less? I should have just had a baby instead.
- Johnathan is now a pro at rolling over. It’s mostly adorable
- I received the Shirttail garters and they are glorious
- Guitar practice has resumed – oh! I lament the progress I’ve lost!
- You know that scene in Aviator where Leo has the guy file down all the rivets on the plane to reduce drag? I love this scene. We are surrounded by rivets in our lives. This is why I’ve started preheating the shower in the morning one minute into brushing my teeth. By the time I finish brushing, the water is just getting to a comfortable temperature. BAM! I just filed down a one minute rivet in my life
Men are suppose to put their pants on last.
I have a problem with this because pants are the foundation of my clothing ensemble. The advantage to putting your pants on after your shirt is that you don’t have to unbutton the pants you just buttoned to tuck in your shirt. Same with socks. If your socks go on before your pants you never encounter the embarrassing condition of a pant leg mistakenly tucked into a sock (OH THE HORROR.)
For years I have been trying to make this switch and I have been wholly unsuccessful. If I’m not completely cognizant with each morning action, I find myself rolling my eyes as I unbutton my pants so I can properly tuck in my shirt.
NO LONGER FRIENDS!
Shaun pointed me towards kkandjay.com who sell Shirttail garters. YES. Shirttail garters are clever straps which clips to your shirt’s tails and elasticifies them to the tops of your socks all under the shroud of your pants legs. It keeps your shirt tucked nicely and your socks at attention throughout an active day.
And more than just that, it will force me to put my pants on last.
I ordered one to give it a shot. I’m eager to see how it all works out.
We sat J.Atlas down at the piano to see if he was a child prodigy.
Instead to our dismay we learned, through his improvised single note performance, he seems to have a penchant for experimental/avant-garde styles.
I pray that I am mistaken and his demonstration is instead a misunderstood statement of irony.
For the second year in a row we have acted as tenants for a family of Barn Swallows. A lady swallow built a nest in the eaves outside our front door last year, and this year she reused it for her second clutch. The Barn Swallows, despite their propensity to make a massive mess of our front stoop, are both adorable and incredibly useful because they consume massive amounts of insects. According to BirdNote.org, Barn Swallows can each eat about 850 insects per day.
I attribute the mosquito moderation at our home in part to the HOARDS of Barn Swallows that reside in our neighborhood. On our evening walks we see dozens upon dozens soaring overhead.
Over the past month or so we’ve enjoyed watching Mom Swallow fly to and from the nest feeding the little ones. Just in the last week and a half the birds have all learned how to fly. They venture out during the day and come back to the protection of the nest at night where Mom continues to tend to them.
To the swallows: you have an open invitation to the DiDo household’s front stoop. Come by anytime.
In 2005 Genevieve Loussouarn, PharmD, Charles El Rawadi, PhD, and Gilles Genain, PhD published an article on the Diversity of Hair Growth profiles – Or, how fast hair grows on average based on race.
Their findings across a variety of races suggest hair grows by between 250 and 400 micrometers per day. Right now, the world population is 7.4 billion. For our back-of-the-napkin calculation we’re going to ignore children under the age of one, of which there are about 150 million in the world (per census.gov). That gives us 7.25 billion people. Then we’ll estimate 1/2 of men over 50 are bald (I think this is conservative), reducing the number by 750 million or so… and voila! we have 6.5 billion full heads of growing hair! Using maths, and taking the mediaun hair growth noted by the scientists above of ~350ish micrometers per day, we can estimate that the world’s heads grow about 2,275,000 meters of hair a day or about 1,580 meters per minute. That’s 60 miles per hour of hair.
That’s a HEAD of hair. Now if we take 100,000 hair follicles per head we’ve got 6,000,000 miles of hair being produced globally per hour. If we could magically consolidate all this to a single follicle it would be launching hair out at about 1/100th the speed of light!
Recommended goal of humanity: increase population and expand to different planets/star systems until we are 740 billion in number, at which point we will collectively be manufacturing hair at the speed of light.
I got my hair cut this weekend. Needless to say, it was overdue.
J.Atlas met his older cousin Harry this weekend. Harry confirms that Johnathan is delicious.
We are reading Harry Potter. We are on book 4.
The nurse, Madam Pomfrey, is able to LITERALLY grow bones back in people’s bodies, yet Harry Potter hasn’t once asked to have his eyesight corrected. Glasses fogging up during Quiddich? Let’s just use a quick ever-clear spell on the glass. Ahh perfect, this makes much more sense than chanting “opiticaperfect!” and granting the most critical player on the team Eagle vision.
Come on people! Get your magic on!
In a fantasy/science fiction book it’s usually breaks in logic and common sense that bother me more than disobeying the laws of the universe.
There are those points in one’s life where maturity escalates rather abruptly. Going to college, having bills for the first time, starting a full time job, buying a house, getting married, and of course having a kid.
I think of all of these, only did the arrival of J.Atlas not remotely fit to my preconceived constraints.
Prior to the J.Atlas arrival friends, family, and coworkers were generous with comments. Many were cliche.
“It’ll change your life forever!”
“It’ll be the best time of your life.”
“Enjoy sleep now, while you can!”
“It’s the toughest job you’ll ever love!”
“It’ll be hard, but it’ll get easier.”
“You’ll stop doing all your fancy cooking as soon as that baby comes.”
All those messages sunk in and collected together in my brain into some sort of strange network of assumptions. Now 3 months in, I can admit that nearly all of these assumptions were wrong. Here are my discoveries so far:
- Babies aren’t that hard – Okay, caring for a baby is challenging, but not in the way that I thought. I had assumed that the toughest part would be the baby screaming or fussing while desperation sucks life out of you. Like a Dementor from Harry Potter wearing a diaper. But really, that’s not all that common. It happens, but it’s not the norm. The biggest challenge for me so far has been working in a new environment with Jen. It’s the classic challenge of paired management. For me, as a father and husband, navigating our relationship through his development can be genuinely tough. Being supportive when I need to be supportive and trying to communicate what I think is best for the little guy while being respectful to Jen’s preferences. This is legit hard. The baby’s easy.
- Sleep is not gone forever – there is no question we sleep less than we did before. But it’s not as hard as I thought. It’s just kinda what we do now. That’s it. It’s the new norm.
- We have tons of time – Seriously. We have tons of time. We just can’t really use the time. Boredom is surprisingly everywhere. What do you do after you’ve played with the rattle, read him a book, sang a few songs, bounced him, gone for a walk, and after all that only two minutes have passed? You just kind of do it again. This is the real time sync that people hint at. It’s not that you don’t have time, you just don’t have the luxury of choosing how to use it.
- Overall, life isn’t that different – People say everything changes, but it doesn’t. We are still us. We still have dinner together and enjoy walks. We have a little man that we carry with us, but we are still us.
I think when it’s my turn to hurl broad generalizations at expecting parents, I’m going to put it this way:
Babies increase life’s standard deviation. It’s like the bell curve of emotion has flattened a bit. The lows are lower, the highs are higher, but overall the mean and median remain unchanged. You respond with more maturity; maturity being nothing more than the ability to better handle broadening of our own personal happiness confidence intervals.