It’s 9pm on a Sunday. I call Mom D. to catch up.
ring… ring… ring… ring…
Mom D: (distracted) hello?
Mike D: (thinking I may have woken Mom D up.) Hey Mom, it’s Mike!
Mom D: Oh, Hi Mike! I’m on a steamboat.
Awesome.
Category: Conversations
Perfect.
Coworker: “I’ve got a chocolate granola bar if you’d like it?”
Mike D (enthusiastically): “Oh my goodness yes. This is exactly what I needed.”
Coworker: “did you not have lunch? I have some extra food if you’d like?”
Mike D: “Oh? No no. I had lunch. Actually it was a pretty huge lunch. I just really needed some chocolate.”
Coworker: “I understand. Chocolate at the end of a meal is like a modern day cigarette.”
Hugh.
My sister Theresa is always willing to set her pride aside and take one for the team by visiting websites like People.com to update the family on important gossip that might come up at your local water cooler. This was today’s conversation:
Theresa: Hugh Hefner is engaged
Mom D: Wow, how old is his wife-to-be?
Theresa: 24.
Mom D: Mike D, that’s your problem. These 80 year olds are stealing up all the eligible women.
Thanks Hugh. Thanks for reducing the global supply of singles within my age range.
Baltimore
After a joyous day in Philly playing scrabble, drinking coffee, and appreciating strongly built brick mansions, I drove down to Baltimore to spend time with my sister Theresa.
Theresa opened the door to her apartment wearing these fluffy blue slippers.
“Whoa!” I exclaimed, “Those slippers are great!”
She gleefully responded:
“They are made from 100% Muppet!!!!!”