Author: smcquaid

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the final AIM Poll post. It’s definitely the best in my book – simply looking at the number of responses, Mike D really hit a chord with his AIM list on this one. I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane – I certainly did.

Poll for the week of September 9 – September 16, 2002

The Question:

Who would win in a staring contest: Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat, or Danny DeVito?

The Response Starters:

1. No one messes with Danny DeVito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because…
2. Down Down Up High Kick High Kick. The skillful Liu Kang would outlast that actor any day because…

Message from Mike D: Impressive answers. Although Danny DeVito took down the Asian fighter 7 to 4, it was a great match up. I awarded a few extra titles because y’all deserve ’em.

THE WINNERS:

Flawless Victory
Shamus: well it depends, if it was the clay puppet danny from the Nestea commercials, it would be no contest, but vs the real devito lui kang would deliver the finishing uppercut off the swinging bridge into the spike pit.

Test Your Might (packed with humor)
The Sarto: Well, it depends, if the staring contest were limited to just staring and not trying to make the other one laugh with silly faces or sounds. Then DeVito would win all the way. He’s got that “I’m Really Short Which Puts Me in Prime Nut Biting Position” kind of intimidation factor. If, however noises and facial expressions were allowed all Liu Kang would have to do is hold down the low kick button for 4 seconds to unleash his infamous bicycle kick which sounds like a turkey chasing it’s own head after it’s been lopped off. This my friend, is far too funny a sound for even disgruntled midgets to ignore.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Friendship
Alex: If Liu Kang can beat shape-shifting, soul-stealing, Shang Tsung in a battle to protect Earth, go to the Outworld and kick Shao Kahn’s immortal ass, then do it again back on Earth (not to mention going off to fight a fallen elder god after all of that), then he can beat the tiny italian (or anybody for that matter) at a staring contest.

Steve: This is a tough one…on one hand you’ve got a really good fighter who can throw energy blasts with both his hands and feet who just so happens to be animated, while on the other, you’ve got an angry, fat, short guy with a huge amount of money. If forced to choose I’d have to go with Danny Devito because even if he couldn’t defeat Kang himself, his crazy ass wife Rhea Perlman would bust in and go old school Cheers fighting and nagging on Kang, which would be sure to get him.

The “Get Shorty” award (Megan’s really short)
Megan: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because short people always win, because tall people suck. It’s because the air is a lot thinner up there.

Most Original
S. McQuaid: No one messes with Danny DeVito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he’s short. And….good Lord, he’s on fire! Where are the fire extinguishers!?!?! Wait, he’s….he’s FLYING! Danny DeVito is levitating like a madman! HE JUST PULLED HIS LIVER OUT!!!!!

AND THE REST…in no particular order:

Amanda: seriously, danny devito is a midget and midgets belong in the circus. Circus folk are well equiped for such freakish things as never blinking and thus danny would win…smelling like cabbage and all.

Colin (buckley, that is): Liu Kang would win hands down because his squinty asian eyes would make it impossible to tell if he was blinking or not, and he could probably take a nap without anyone noticing, then wake up and declare himself the flawless victor.

Erin: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he has those beady little eyes that prolly glaze over with some kind of film when he keeps em open which prolly makes it so he can keep em open really long which prolly means that he’d win.

KACaperton: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because he is just funny looking and that is the key to a good staring contest winner.

The Vinayak Award
Vinayak: Down Down Up High Kick High Kick. The skillful lui kang would outlast that actor any day because who cares? All that matters is Kang can kick Divito’s ass

The “Look Who’s Talking award (first time entry)
Colin (not the buckley one): No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because Kang would have to laugh at that little bald head

The Look Who’s Talking 2 award (another first time entry)
Susie: No one messes with Danny Devito, not even fictional video game characters. Dan would win because hes the man ;-)

Poll for the week of September 4 – September 10, 2002

The Question:

Between Cyndi Lauper and Kirk Cameron, who is more likely to suffer a psychotic break first?

The Response Starters:

1. Isn’t Kirk Cameron already nuts… well, if not, he would be the first to go because…
2. Is it really spelt Cyndi… because if that doesn’t spell looney… I don’t know what does.

THE WINNER:

Mullins: Although Cydi Lauper has a constant lack of fashion sense along with her over-zelous need to wear a tiera, one cannot classify her to have a breakdown before Kirk Cameron. Kirk Cameron on the other hand is one (1) degree, through his sister, to the Olsen twins. When you’re that close to those underage pieces of ass, you’re bound to crack sometime.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Steve M.: You see…although both are probably just as likely to lose it since they pretty much make up the definition of “has been” I think Cyndi Lauper will be the first one to go. Not only has she always been more on the edge than Kirk but he has all those years of experience in “Growing Pains” which has taught him how to deal with problems in a way that is suitable for mixed audiences on primetime television. Go Mike Seaver Go!!!

Paul: Cyndi lauper because until a few seconds ago I was like ‘whats a cyndi lauper and why do I care?’ just like probably millions of people in the world today which in itself is enough to make a person go insane…or at least cry (i have the effect on people). Second you have Kirk Cameron. And if you watch ‘behind the laughter’ version of Growing Pains you’d know that ‘Mike’ and his really hot girlfriend ‘Kate’ were actually Super Christianity Cult members bent on controlling the show and turning it into an hour of ‘Nightmare on Morality street’. They were able to manipulate the cast and crew through thier demonic ways which eventually led to the demise of the show. But if you really want to see which one would crack first have them both watch either episode of the short lived sitcom “Kirk” staring Kirk Cameron and directed by Charles In Charge himself…good ol’ Chachi….the first one to laugh I guarantee will be the result of insanity and not hilarity

AND THE REST…in no particular order:

Stef in Denmark: To answer your poll, I would have to say Cyndi Lauper because she did not star in the all-time classic, “Left Behind!”

The Sarto: Both Kirk and Cyndi are already screwed up. I think this poll is about 10 years too late to really have an impact. So, assuming it was 1992, then I’d say Cyndi Lauper. All that dye would seep into her head at some point.

S. McQuaid: Cyndi Lauper MUST be crazy already. Her last name says it all: Lauper. Sound that out….Lopper. As in, one who lops. And we all know what gets lopped most often: HEADS! Her last name describes her as someone who LOPS OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS!!!!!

Andy G.: Is it really spelt Cyndi… because if that doesn’t spell looney… I don’t know what does. definetly Cyndi because Kirk was just the man because he always got the chicks and it’s a scientific fact that lack of chicks causes mental breakdowns hence cyndi who is no longer the ‘butch’ type would have have a breakdown first. because she lacks the gettin of chicks.

Jill!: Isn’t Kirk Cameron already nuts… well, if not, he would be the first to go because there is no way you could play Mike Seaver for that long and NOT bust a couple brain cells.

Micah: Isn’t Kirk Cameron already nuts… well, if not, he would be the first to go because (insert answer) he already had one while making that stupid show where he always got bad grades, and when he didnt do his homework it was called being in character, kinda like me but he got paid to do it and they just call me lazy, oh by the way i should be doing my homework now

Kari: Isn’t Kirk Cameron already nuts… well, if not, he would be the first to go because he already went semi-crazy and became some sort of religious nut. he withdrew from his coworkers and lost that playful kid image he always had on growing pains. didn’t you watch E! True Holywood Story: Kirk Cameron?!

Pat: Isn’t Kirk Cameron already nuts… well, if not, he would be the first to go solely because of two words: Left Behind. I felt ill, and I saw less than half of it. Imagine how he must feel.

Poll for the weeks of August 12 – August 26, 2002

The Question:

At WPI we are being trained to be corporate whores. Pranks, practical jokes, and general mayhem are often necessary to relieve the tedium of office life… This week’s poll is looking for your best story of office hijinks.

The Response Starter:

heh. this one time at work…

THE WINNER:

Kevin: i worked for a construction crew this summer, and there was one particular laborer who was the subject of many pranks. on the first day of work he was dubbed “rupricks the monkey boy”. the foreman then proceeded to wrap the porta-let (that had been baking in the sun all day) in duct tape while rupricks was relieving himself.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Colin: heh. this one time at work… a guy died and I took the money out of his wallet before anyone realized

The Sarto: heh. this one time at work…I sat on my ass and didn’t do what was requested of me,…boy you should have seen the look on my co-workers’ faces!

AND THE REST…in no particular order:

Kate: i dunno if this counts but here’s the story. during camp we always ask the campers to complete an ice cream lab. this involves having them write directions on how to make an ice cream sundae, we the counselors then take these directions and create the sundaes. we take the directions VERY literally, usuallyone of us ends up becoming the ice cream sunday. We have one counselor who HATES to be dirty and so never helps out with this lab. During our final lab, with the help of five campers we attacked the clean counselor and started an all out ice cream sunday fight. the whipped cream was flying, the ice cream was smearing the walls, and strawberries were in everyones hair, there was yelling and screaming and laughter. needless to say i came home very yummy ;-)

Katie: heh. this one time at work… Well, you see mike d, not all people will go straight to work. Some (not me, but some) will step right out of undergrad to grad school, so here is a grad school story. That takes place in a little town called Cambridge England. Now, cambridge is not only known for its intense acedemics, but also its tourism. People flock from all over the world to view the beautiful campus and enjoy England’s spring weather (okay, so some of this story might be a lie… but hey, deal with it). With this in mind you can imagine how upset the town was when they woke up to see that one of the two spires on the main building had a hideous orange bucket up the top of it. Ah, the town was upset. They called in a scaffolding company from London to get the bucket down. Now, you have to understand. This spire was OLD and it had really delicate stone work. Plus, this took place a few years ago so the roads were bad. English roads tend to be tight and winding, so it takes some time to get scaffolding to Cambridge from London. So they take a day getting there. Then another day getting most of the scaffolding up. Meanwhile, that ugly bucket was just sitting there – being an eyesore. So finally, the town of Cambridge goes to sleep, knowing that the next day the scaffolding company would reach the top and they could get down that awful bucket. Now, you probably are thinking that you know the punch line of this story. They wake up and the bucket is gone – ha ha. But one thing that you should always learn is to expect the opposite of what the outcome is expected to be (if that is possible). So, no the bucket wasn’t gone the next morning.
It was just on the other spire.

Ben: heh. this one time at the soccomm office… which is just like work, instead of working we inflated beach balls until they were about three deep through the whole room, you couldn’t walk from one end to another… ha heh, and this other time we set up empty water cooler jugs and bowled in the hall with a real bowling ball… man