An Error in my Ways

Let’s see if you, good reader, can realize my mistake before I did.

Last night, after a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of progresso tomato soup, I decided to venture upstairs to do a little work before bed. I’ve chosen to learn Microsoft Project for work, so I’m spending an hour a day going through a book to become the ultimate pro. It’s pretty fun actually. I enjoy learning new software.

Obviously, before hunkering down for education, I needed some chocolate. Conveniently, I had just the right thing. At a recent HoR party, Vivienne made a blissful pot of hot cocoa for everyone and there was a bit left. I heated up a short glass carefully in the microwave. Stirring and temperature testing interspersed with six or so 15 second bursts at power level 5 did the job. Topping it with a homemade marshmallow, I had the perfect cup of delicious.

I grabbed my briefcase with my right hand and, with my left, balanced the mug of cocoa on top of my book and then balanced that on top of my laptop and raised it aloft like a dinner tray. I went upstairs, opened my bedroom door with my briefcase hand, and then, in the process of leaning over to put down my briefcase I dumped my cocoa everywhere.

Dumped isn’t the right word. Launched? no. Catapulted? not quite. Trebucheted? Perfect. It’s not a word, and officially there was no trebuchet involved, but it might be the only verb to properly communicate the transfer of potential energy to the now wildly spiraling mug projectile.

The hot chocolate trebucheted through the air. I swear it happened in slow motion. The glass careening across the room amidst my pitifully helpless cry. The liquid splaying out like fireworks of cocoa and half melted mallow. The glass crashed across the floor in a carnival of chocolate ruin.

It got EVERYWHERE. Door, bed, floor, mirror, shoes, shoe cleaning kit, robe, rug, bureau, walls, books*, laptop, desk, briefcase, arms, freshly dry-cleaned clothes… everywhere.

A half-gallon of carpet cleaner, an industrial roll of papertowels, laundry, and a new trip to the dry cleaner and my room is slowly returning to its previous state.

Did you see my error? Clearly, if I had taken the briefcase in my left hand and balanced the laptop, book, and cocoa in my dominant right hand – I probably would have been fine. Ugh. So dumb.

*Shaun L. I may or may not have permanently stained your MS Project book with hot chocolate.

11 thoughts on “An Error in my Ways

  • 1/10/2013 at 1:36 pm
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    This may be an unfathomable concept, but perhaps just maybe you could have taken two trips? I mean, your staircase is pretty short.

    Bonus descriptive points for turning trebucheted into a verb.

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    • 1/11/2013 at 1:29 pm
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      Mom D also commented on this, but recognized her statement as futile to the guy who bought a 2 Quart measuring cup so I would have to make fewer trips to the sink when measuring water.

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  • 1/10/2013 at 4:32 pm
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    Your mistake is voluntarily learning MS Project. FACT.

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  • 1/10/2013 at 4:41 pm
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    I am most impressed with the fact that you specifically set the power on the microwave down to 5. I have never taken the time to program the power setting on the microwave to anything other than HIGH (which is ALWAYS CAPITALIZED IN MICROWAVE DOCUMENTATION, ODDLY ENOUGH). Is it worth doing? Do you find that it produces different results other than simply taking longer to achieve the same level of heat? Is it safer? More power efficient? I must know why.

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    • 1/10/2013 at 10:38 pm
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      Mr. McQuaid, I for one very regularly use power settings other than HIGH, and yes! it does make a big difference. For example, if I’m heating some beef stew and I use HIGH, some parts (beefy chunks maybe) are cold while others (let’s say carrots) are piping hot. If I use a much lower heating power for longer, it all has time to redistribute the heat, and by the time it’s done, everything is at a reasonably consistent temperature. This mal-distribution issue is the only reason I can see to do it. Oh wait! And baby food. It just allows you to creep up on warm without getting too hot. But in that case, it is just taking longer (when that’s the desired result).

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      • 1/11/2013 at 11:59 am
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        Man…I wish there was a segment that I could ask someone questions and they would answer them in a humorous and factual manner. A man can dream…

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        • 1/18/2013 at 7:59 am
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          Yeah, me too. If only popular demand was strong enough to make this dream into a reality….

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    • 1/11/2013 at 1:31 pm
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      Shaun! Jesse is dead on here. I’ve found, for example, when I’m heating up a large plate of lasagna if I go on high I get a burning exterior and a cool interior. By trimming down the power you give heat the time it needs to conduct through the food without crisping out the edges of your foodstuff.

      Try it. You’ll never go back.

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  • 1/11/2013 at 8:08 pm
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    Also, when warming anything with meat in the microwave, the lower power settings allows for the food to be heated, but prevents the meat from becoming tough or overcooked. True story.

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  • 1/13/2013 at 7:06 pm
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    The book is company property so I’m not angry personally. Didn’t we go over this time saving with huge risk scenario already?

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  • 1/18/2013 at 8:01 am
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    Thanks for all the tips on why and when to use the lower power setting on the microwave. Clearly I am more ham-handed in the kitchen than many. I resolve to attempt the low-power setting in the future!

    Reply

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