Despite the fun exciting updates that have been going up lately, I’m currently navigating through a prolonged state of general cheerlessness. I think I’m struggling through some sort of personal right of passage trying to pull in the reins on guilt and destructive self-abasement and develop into a more mindful, respectful, easy-going me. I’m not complaining about life in general, because in the grand scheme of things life is pretty great. I suspect this is simply an extended cold front of life – burdened with thunderstorms and high winds.
I’ve tried the traditional methods of boosting self esteem: rampant consumerism, excessive caffeination, and heavy dosages of family and friends. And while all these have helped, I’m still not quite there. Thankfully, my sisters, friends, and coworkers helped me define, I hope, the next step forward on this path: adultification.
adultification [uh-duhlt-ifi-key-shuhn] –noun
1. the act of becoming more like an adult
2. expansion of an individual’s life, narrative, etc., to better accommodate a more mature attitude
Alicia, in particular, argued that over the next year as I approach and breach the event horizon that is age 30 perhaps it’s time that I start living the more professional life that, when I was younger, I equated with adulthood. The goal being: boost self esteem.
She recommended that I start by updating my surroundings. The House of Rock is an amazing social hub, but it has not-so-subtle ties to the college life. Alicia encouraged me to replace my classless bedroom furniture with something that has a more professional personality. Define my space in such a way to encourage self respect and dignity. Complete my nice knife set that I had always assumed I’d buy once married. Establish a weekly schedule that isn’t so much constant action and has more self-reflection time. Start living like the adult I had imagined I’d become – maybe then greater maturity, responsibility, and self confidence will break through and shine.
I don’t think mine is an uncommon feeling for those of us who always thought we’d have really established solid footing in this thing called life come our late twenties and early thirties. So if you’ve been there and have advice, I’m always up for hearing it. You can leave a comment or e-mail if you’d prefer to keep it private. mikedidonato AT gmail D0T com
Unrelated more upbeat news:
The movie Scott Pilgrim was excellent
Hilarious Taboo game clue:
teammate 1: “A movie that all women like that no man likes”
teammate 2: “THE NOTEBOOK”
teammate 1: “correct.”
Major Disc Golf success this weekend –
I’ve established a strong forehand grip that allowed
me two birdies at Wickham park in Manchester
Major Karaoke Disappointement –
I tried Burden in My Hand by Soundgarden
and floundered with the opening lines.
I learned how to fold fitted bed sheets yesterday. Here’s the tutorial I used: Part 1. Part 2.
Exerball Chair Update –
I remain unconvinced. I’m going to try something new this week.
13 thoughts on “Cloudy with a Chance of Clouds”
Bummer about the exercise ball. I was giving it serious consideration.
As for maturing your surroundings, I’ve been trying this for myself. For example, I purchased a Japanese Led Zeppelin poster from the 1970s http://www.facebook.com/christopher.a.tanner#!/photo.php?pid=35055269&id=24800654&ref=fbx_album but then matured it with professional framing. I figured it was then awesome but refined because it’s behind glass.
I asked my chiropractor about it, since I was considering it as well, but she said it’s too easy to slouch on the ball and reduce its effectiveness. Bummer, Mr. D.
That’s exactly what I found too.
Between ball slouching and the frequent wedgie, I decided to try a plain old boring chair. It’s as uncomfortable as heck, but hopefully it’ll keep me less slouchy.
As per a “cold front of life” I began thinking about this song, ate lunch, went to a store, and remembered I never posted it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mVnWnSAOdg Enjoy.
Wow! Great comment!
more kung-fu and rock climbing? http://www.yourpublicmedia.org/node/4851
Aw Mike, you’re awesome! You deserve the best: and that’s what you’re giving yourself! Hooray!!!
Perhaps on this path to adulthood a vow to never, ever, EVER, cook eggs in the microwave is in order?
Ha! I haven’t done it once since you called me on it.
That’s great news!
It seems like achieving your black belt has left you with no clear goal right now – kind of like finishing up a good book after two weeks and then floundering around with nothing to read. Also, maybe it’s giving you (unpleasantly??) more time to consider other aspects of your life that have pushed aside during your years of extreme achievement.
I think Alicia is on to something with adultification – I’ve been slowly getting rid of old stuff from college, and replacing it with nicer things that I really like and really like to have around, like replacing a crappy Ikea Alex flat file I bought because it was cheap and I was poor, I bought two used steel flat files to keep all my paper pristine. Ryan Schenk snagged me a really fine workdesk to replace my old chintzy one. I’m about to get serious and buy new pillows and a new duvet cover and hey, even some more towels, to replace all of the above which are like 10 years old.
Outside of blatantly consumerist ideas, whenever I’m facing feelings of vague restlessness I turn to a hands-on productive project and that instantly steers my mind in a different direction -either relaxation or “Flow” if you look at this nice infographic you can see flow and relaxation are the opposite of apathy and anxiety:
You’re a creative dude, as evidenced by extreme MS Paint skills and also woodcarving skills – I think you might find some temporary relief to your low mood in CREATING something. It has to be something you make – it’s like the opposite of consumerism (productionism?) For me, reaching a state of flow is similar to what it sounds like people experience while meditating, except way less boring.
Wow Ruth, thanks for your insightful comment – and excellent use of the infographic. I’m going to think about this more. I’m quite certain you’re on to something.
Ruth’s comment is awesome! I also find sometimes when I don’t have a big project I get all anxious and uncomfortable.
Luckily I find trying new recipes or creating new recipes (or even just cooking a simple but delicous meal) definitely fit the “small project” idea for me, and it also gives the nice adult feeling of sitting down to a nice dinner afterwards.
I’m also a huge advocate of just getting out real plates and sliverware, even if you can’t make a nice dinner, for your leftovers or takeout or whatever and eating at the table to make dinner and the end of your day much more statisfying.