December 30th, 2008 – Altynivka. Chopping wood.
My third day of vacation started with a trip to the local bazaar. A bunch of small vendors were selling a pretty eclectic assortment of goods. Wherever we went the first words out of people’s mouths would be: “why doesn’t he have a hat?” I’ll have to see if I can get a hat while I’m here.
Jess bought some matches, fish, eggs, and a few other random things at the bazaar. On the walk home we stopped at Larissa’s to get an axe. One of the things that I had really wanted to do when I came over here was chop wood. I find the idea of chopping wood very rustic and intriguing. Jess had set aside a huge pile of wood to be cut. I borrowed one of Jess’s hats and was ready for action.
Does that wood look nervous? Because it’s about to get THE AXE.
I started in and immediately got the axe stuck in the wood. Now, for those of you that have chopped wood before, perhaps the solution to this problem seems obvious, but I have very little experience in wood chopping and was very confused. See, every once in awhile you have to chop a huge freakin’ log of wood and the axe can not destroy it in a single swing! Instead the axe gets thoroughly lodged inside the wood and prying it out is impossible for mere mortals. Thankfully, Andri, (Larissa’s son) was walking by and saw me struggling. He ran over and laughingly showed me the trick.
You lift the wood/axe combo up, flip it over so that the axe is on the bottom, and then slam the butt of the blade into your chopping block. The wood explodes!! I took a video demonstrating this process!
Who knew? from mikedidonato on Vimeo.
Heck yeah!
I spent much of the remaining day chopping wood.
The results!
All the wood that you see here was chopped by me, though there are a whole bunch of rows of wood behind the front two sections that were cut by Jess. Wood chopping is fun! Yay Ukraine!
That’s a nice stack, Mike. So, did you get a hat?
The hat I’m wearing there was borrowed from Jes. I did get an opportunity to try on a truly epic hat, more about that later.
Sadly, I left Ukraine without purchasing a new hat for myself. I just couldn’t find the right one!
At first, i thought they meant one of those big davy crockett style animals-turned-into a hat but then i saw your wood-chopping hat and remembered, oh yea, 21st century.
So the question remains, why did you go to the ukraine without a hat?
No, No, JonAbad, you were correct with your first thought. The folks of Ukraine wear INTENSE fur hats. I even saw one with a Davy Crocket style tail. Everyone had hugely fantastic fur hats that exceed the descriptive capabilities of a blog.
The hat I’m wearing there was more for practicality than style, and Ukrainians are all about style. That hat was also Jess’s hat and came from America.
I went to Ukraine without a hat because I forgot mine. Twice. I had one in CT that I left behind and then I got one for Christmas that I left behind.
Essentially, it comes down to the fact that I’m a stupid American.
The issue with the wood chopping is the “right tool for the right job” you were using a 3/4 length axe, with should be used for felling trees in far away locations were you don’t want to carry a full axe, if you want to chop wood, you should be using a maul, or a sledge and wedge, or a hydraulic wood splitter. Axes really don’t have the heft for it.
Hydraulic wood splitters are great. They save a lot of time and energy.
Mike – sexy video. Manly.
I take issue with that remark. One needn’t be American to be stupid. There are morons everywhere.
It would be if he had a better hat.
Glad you enjoyed chopping wood! I hated chopping and stacking wood growing up.
Bet they have a lot of those in Eastern Ukraine.
I take issue with that remark. One needn’t a high quality hat to be sexy. Though if that’s your dominant requirement, just you wait for Friday’s post. Just you wait.
You forgot the military hat? Also, that’s the best video ever!
Is this the beginning of “Hat Friday?”
I’m right there with devin on the implement discussion…definitely need the right tool for the job…though I had never though of flipping the wood over to hit the axe head instead…good call from Andri!
Mike – you should chop wood more often…definitely a good stress reliever!
Yeah, I betcha there is one juussstt out of the frame in that video
All of you who never thought of flipping the axe when it gets stuck in a log need to re-watch The Magnificent Seven. Charles Bronson is cutting wood when Steve McQueen approaches him to defend the small Mexican town.