Rock Climbing the Church

Once you climb a few rocks, you look at everything as a potential climb.

Call me sacreligious, but occasionally when I’m in church I can’t help but imagine climbing the ornate walls. I see the designs and try to mentally figure out the best way to navigate the moves

Lean back off the arch, heel hook the leafy orb… right hand to the trim, pull up, shift weight and mantle off the top of the column…

The feasibility of the climb would depend a lot on the air flow within the church and whether or not a coating of dust covered the higher hand holds. But really, I don’t think it’d be too bad. My church here in Meriden probably has a few solid 5.9’s and one or two 5.11’s (lots of slopers.)

10 thoughts on “Rock Climbing the Church

  • 9/19/2006 at 6:33 am
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    Great, now I’m going to be looking at the ceiling this weekend to see if I think Mike D. can climb our church. The church I went to when I was little has a lot of high arches, I think more than my current church. St. Joe’s isn’t quite as gothic as St. Mary’s. I think to be on the safe side, you should bet on dust. I have seen some dust from balconies and cry rooms. One interesting thing though is that the only place in the church I have seen cobwebs is the confessional. Wonder why that is. lol

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  • 9/19/2006 at 8:03 am
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    This is awesome. I’ve actually thought the same thing before, just not using your “technical” words. You should check out St. John’s sometime in Clinton. It’s HUGE.

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  • 9/19/2006 at 10:17 am
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    Ahoy! I once pillaged a church in the West Indies. It was a glorious battle with many dubloons found and many a wench were graced with my pressence that evening. There was a feast of piratical proportions where Ham was served and more Rum than I can recall! Beware of the Disatrous Sully Cutty when he comes a calling!

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  • 9/19/2006 at 12:14 pm
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    Speaking of churches…My wife hooked me up with this website. I find it quite funny. make sure to read the open letter.

    http://www.venganza.org/

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  • 9/19/2006 at 12:46 pm
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    Did you just crawl out from under your rock? This has been around for a while now, Fatty.

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  • 9/19/2006 at 1:27 pm
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    Well how come I have never heard of it, huh stupid? It is new to me and probably new to many of the fine fine listeners of MikeDiDonato.com . Just trying to bring a little humor to everyones day. Thanks for teying to shoot down Happiness! TimmyB = Killer of Fun.

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  • 9/19/2006 at 8:26 pm
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    Well Mike D. I have to say if you want a real adventure in church climbing you should go to Europe and check out some of the Baroque cathedrals. Maybe not so many rocks, but some serious arches. Can’t you just imagine rapelling down those flying buttresses?

    I don’t think Timmy can kill your fun unless you let him, Kurt. Hey Mike, what’s the usual sentence for premeditated fun killing?

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  • 9/20/2006 at 6:31 am
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    I think its called Grad School.

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  • 9/20/2006 at 6:35 am
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    ha ha!

    Though… some might say that the brutality of this punishment far exceeds that of the crime.

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  • 9/20/2006 at 7:58 am
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    I don’t think so. If you kill Fun you deserve years of hard work and large loan payments to make you think about what you have done.

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