13 thoughts on “Fights I’d Like to See

  • 5/25/2006 at 9:25 am
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    What kind of bear?

    What era of Bruce Willlis?

    All important factors here. Bruce Willis from “The Kid” vs a Grizzly would be pretty one sided. So would Gun Toting “Last Man Standing” Bruce Willis vs a Malayan Sun Bear (http://www.bagheera.com/inthewild/van_anim_sunbear.htm). please elaborate.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 9:45 am
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    good question Kurt.

    First, it’d be a Polar bear. I hear those things are ruthless. And… Last man standing Bruce Willis would be perfect. To make it even, we’d have to give the polar bear a chainsaw and a shield and bruce willis would only be able to use a crowbar.

    I guess we’d also have to give the polar bear opposable thumbs. Otherwise that’d be lame.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 11:05 am
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    How is a bear going to use a chainsaw? Maybe if he had a harness with a monkey sitting in it. But no chainsaw.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 11:52 am
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    okay. I’m hip to that. The bear gets a harness with a monkey.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 11:56 am
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    the monkey would be able to throw stuff and possibly handle a stick of sorts. So maybe Bruce Willis with a crowbar Vs a Monkey weilding a louisville slugger while riding a polar bear….I smell MSPaint competition.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 12:03 pm
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    With this setup I think Bruce still has a significant advantage. Perhaps one of his legs should be shackled to an 800 pound ball of steel.

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  • 5/25/2006 at 2:21 pm
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    or how bout this. We down grade bruce willis from “Last Man Standing” to Bruce Willis from “Unbreakable” that way he has a weakness. I won’t state the weaknedd here so I don’t ruin the movie for people who haven’t seen it. I think this is gearing up to be a pretty good fight.

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  • 5/26/2006 at 9:46 am
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    Diehard 2 Bruce Willis vs. Robot Bruce Willis
    Sin City Bruce Willis vs. Jason
    Hudson Hawk Bruce Willis vs. Wolverine

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  • 5/26/2006 at 11:11 am
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    Wolverine vs. Unbreakable Bruce Willis would be awesome.

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  • 5/28/2006 at 7:31 am
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    Hell yes. Part of me thinks it might get boring after a few days, but I doubt it.

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  • 5/30/2006 at 2:22 pm
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    I think if the fight ends prior to or after 24 hours then the advantage goes to Bruce, but if it ends anywhere near the 24hour mark, Jack gets a huge advantage.

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  • 5/30/2006 at 2:47 pm
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    Every 59 minutes, Willis would appear to get the upper hand, but 2 minutes later Bauer would make a huge comeback. After 24 full hours, Jack would emerge victorious only to have to fake his own death to save himself from abduction by pandas.

    Periodically, CTU would “set a perimeter” around the fight. This would always completely fail to prevent anyone entering or leaving the area.

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