This just in!

someone who goes to Harvard has visited my website! That means that my website has instantly become an educated source of legitamate academic material! Also, it is worth noting that Natalie Portman went to Harvard. Maybe this mysterious Harvard visitor (hereafter HarvardStudent) has some sort of strange connection to Natalie Portman and maybe HarvardStudent is the missing link between Nat P and Mike D.

So if you think you might be HarvardStudent let me know. we need to work together on this one.

13 thoughts on “This just in!

  • 1/4/2006 at 4:46 pm
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    I’m no longer sure that the Acclaim to Fame & Beretta combination can impress her. After all, she has ridden around in spacecraft and speeders with Hayden Christensen, with lightsabers and blasters.

    I think we need some new equipment. Like, an A4 and a Desert Eagle .50

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  • 1/4/2006 at 5:21 pm
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    oh Tim. I’m sorry. But Audi has done such terrible things to my roommate Jesse that I refuse to endorse their product by riding in their passenger seats. I strongly recommend that you consider purchasing a different vehicle! You don’t want another Gateway laptop! As far as I am concerned, a 1991 Plymouth Acclaim will forever outperform Audi A4s of any year.

    As for the desert eagle .50? booya.

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  • 1/5/2006 at 8:34 am
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    I got a desert eagle for you. i’ll show you how to use it too. Tonite.

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  • 1/5/2006 at 11:32 am
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    I have shot a .50 caliber Desert Eagle before…it was severely painful and not that much fun. There is also a .44 magnum version, which doesn’t kick quite as much but is still severely painful and not that much fun. To make room for those big cartridges, the grip is really big and hard to get your hands around…

    – R “I used to live in Alaska where all there is to do is shoot guns at things” S

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  • 1/5/2006 at 11:42 am
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    Mike, it’s probably Dwane.

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  • 1/5/2006 at 11:43 am
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    But he may be able to set you up with Natalie Portman.

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  • 1/5/2006 at 11:51 am
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    I got passed on the right by an Acclaim doing 90+ today. I had previously thought that this would be impossible.

    And I’d say A6 and an m-16.

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  • 1/5/2006 at 1:25 pm
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    I had (may still have) a lurker from Cal Tech. Cal Tech is almost Harvard. Except that it’s warmer. And geekier. And they don’t have Natalie Portman. They have William Hung, though. That’s gotta count for s… No. That doesn’t count.

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  • 1/6/2006 at 10:15 pm
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    Natalie Portman does indeed go to Harvard. I have this friend from high school who also goes there, was drunk at a party, and she slapped in the face.

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  • 1/6/2006 at 10:15 pm
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    Natalie Portman does indeed go to Harvard. I have this friend from high school who also goes there, was drunk at a party, and she slapped in the face. Actually did go to Harvard, he was a year older than me.

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  • 1/9/2006 at 11:42 am
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    I don’t think Natalie’s the kind of girl who’d be impressed by a big gun. I mean, a strong wind would blow her over, I hardly think an afternoon with a .44 would be her idea of a good time (note: This perfectly describes my idea of a good time). Having large hands, I can hold an Eagle comfortably (god bless genial gunshop owners), but .50 is stupid anyway, just get a 10mm if you want firepower that you can manage.

    Anywho, Natalie strikes me as the kind of girl who’d like a guy like…well none of us. Tim’s too obcessed with his 92 (I hate Berettas, the trigger pull in SA has WAY too much tension, and it’s back too far), Kurt’s too fat, Old Man’s too “guy who rides a Vespa,” Mike’s too straight-edged, Trina would murder Ben before he got near her, I don’t know Patrick but I’m sure there’s something wrong with him, and I’m just way too much man for her to handle.

    Please note that I determined Kurt’s weight problem to be so big that it’s more of an impass on the way to getting it on with Natalie than his married status.

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  • 1/9/2006 at 11:44 am
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    I have a confession…That last thing I made up. I’m not too much man for anybody, I’m just unattractive, surly, socially impotent, and apparently there’s this look in my eyes that tells women I want to bury them under my floorboards. Seriously, what’s up with that.

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  • 1/9/2006 at 4:56 pm
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    Everyone take note: I was not mentioned.

    Now, on the face this is a good thing but Sander’s sense about the ladies isn’t well calibrated.

    Plus, I think she’s a Vespa kind of girl.

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