I finally put together all my finances and handed in a HUGE packet of receipts, print outs, and forms to my boss.

mike d: “Tom, I’ve finally put my expense reports together.” (pulls out huge stack of papers and throws them on desk)
Tom: “oh God!”
mike d: “this one’s from Kentucky, this one’s from Georgia, this is another one from Georgia, and these two are phone bills from last October and August respectively.”
Doug (from adjacent cube): “tell him that you were planning on investing in gas futures with the money before the explosion in Texas and that for every day that passes until he gets your refund, you are demanding 500% interest to compensate for lost profits”

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