Children Attack #2

Please read Tim Baird’s comment to the post “Children Attack” to get the background needed to best understand this entry.

Disclaimer: The following experiment took 18 minutes of company time. As a result, I will work an additional 18 minutes this evening to make up for the time spent doing these tests.

I ended up modeling a quick person, and then I submit that person to a 9000 N force to the face. I took the material of the person as a stiff homogeneous material (nylon), in real life the results would likely be considerably different because a persons body is much more bendy and isn’t made of Nylon. But this will give us a decent feel for what sort of static strain will result from such a blow. My test kid is about 5 feet tall.

Step 1

Step 1 required me to place the model into the FEA program and create a mesh. I used a very coarse mesh because I didn’t want the analysis to take too long.

Step 2

In step 2, I assigned the material Nylon to the body, and then made the feet ‘fixed’ and defined my force to be right in the target’s face. Here I make the assumption that I would be accurate in my assault.

Step 3

Step 3 is simply a screen shot of the running test window.

Step 4

Step 4 shows a graphical representation of the deformation of our test subject. Notice the significant bend resulting from the impact.

Step 5

Finally, step 5 shows the Static strain. Notice the concentrated force in the subject’s neck and left foot (weird…). It is likely that the neck and feet (if they were truly fixed) would be those body parts most damaged by a Roundhouse Kick planted on the target’s face.

Children Attack!

15 or so high school students infested visited my work place today. I got to show them the wonders of Finite Element Analysis. As I’m sure you can imagine, they were busting at the seams with excitement.

That’s right kids! Check out that displacement! 7.847 x 10^-5 m!

I’m going to have to get some cooler stuff for my office so that next time children invade I won’t be remembered as: “that younger guy who showed us a graphical representation of stress and strain on a support beam” and will instead be remembered as: “that younger guy who uses a DDR dance pad to navigate Microsoft Outlook.”

a trying weekend

Sadly, I had a very difficult weekend. Things have been pretty stressful lately, and on top of it all I got into a car accident Friday. No one was hurt, and the Acclaim to Fame miraculously survived. But ugh. It was a solid punch in the gut, both emotionally and financially. Thankfully I got a lot of support from friends and fam. So I’m sending a special thanks out to Richter, both Alicias, and Tim. And also to my father, who, with a can of paint and a screwdriver, managed to bring back the physical hottness that is so well known to the Acclaim to Fame’s front end.

Thanks

another dream

I had another dream last night. This one was in black and white.

I was swimming, near a large nuclear warship, with an anonymous friend. We were trying hard to keep quiet so that we wouldn’t get caught. As we dove underwater we saw a porthole in the side of the warship. There were people looking out from inside! They were being kept as prisoners. I swam further underwater to get a closer look. But something was different. I could suddenly breath underwater! I quickly swam back to the surface and told my friend to come swim next to the porthole. He did, and realized that he could also breath. That’s when the realization came. The government was keeping these people as prisoners because they were merpeople. And as a result, when we got close enough to them underwater, we could breath (I think this same magical effect was in the 1984 hit movie: Splash).

Well, I needed to free the merpeople. So I started unscrewing the bolts around the porthole. I could take my time, since I didn’t need to surface for air.

As I finally opened the window, a woman sergeant walked through the prison’s door and saw what I was doing. But it was too late! the merpeople and I swam away madly, in fear of the sergeant. But then… then, I witnessed something that wasn’t in “splash.” By the sergeant’s orders, it started to rain. And the sound of rain will destroy the ability of the merpeople to share their underwater breathing skills. I had to surface! Fast! As the rain poured down the previously gray-scale water turned bright blue.

and that’s when I awoke.

More adventures!

Last night was an excellent evening. In addition to completing yet ANOTHER 5.11 on the rock walls, I created a Crockpot chicken masterpiece. And with the help of Mark, our dinner was well rounded and filling with sides of veggies and rice.

As we were all filing up stairs into our respective sleeping chambers we exchanged in the following conversation.

Jesse: hey mark, do you mind if I use the bathroom?
Mark: nope. i’m all set.
Jesse: Mike, do you need the bathroom?
mike d: you can go first.
Jesse: YES! TAKE THAT MIKE D! TAKE THAT!
::begins jumping wildly::
Mark and I go into our bedrooms. I call Jill.

Jesse runs into my bedroom whipping a towel around his head.
Jesse: I RULE! I RULE!
Jesse disappears.

Jesse reappears dancing provocatively with his towel
Jesse: I AM AWESOME! I AM AWESO– oh man. I just farted on my towel.
Jesse leaves dejectedly.

And thus ends another evening at the House of Rock.