The Question

Adam asks:

Who decided it was a good idea, in baseball, to denote portions of innings pitched as “.1″ and “.2″? Some broadcasts use the proper notation of 1/3 and 2/3 innings pitched, but some—sometimes both are used on the same game!—use the mixed up .1 and .2. What’s a tenth of an inning anyway? Clearly one out is one third of an inning pitched.

The Answer

This is an interesting question. Researching the answer was difficult – yet, an answer, there is. (says Yoda).

Here’s the deal. Basically, when you see something like “3.2″ in the inning measurement system, it is in BASE 3 to the right of the decimal point, and BASE 10 to the left. Since the innings are measured in thirds (as you point out), the base for a percentage of an inning measurement is 3. Hence, “3.1″ really means “3 1/3″.

Who thought of this? Someone constrained by their technology, someone who just could display fractions on their television set, someone like you and me, Adam. Technology advances, so this nomenclature is no longer “required” by the properties of the display, but, like a bad penny, it keeps turning up. When you see both types of measurement in the same game, that’s when you know that not all displays are running on the same software, or that you’ve got someone running one of the displays who subscribes to the “old school” measurement.

The Question

Shaun McQuaid, who is never afraid, don’t be delayed or I’ll be dismayed. ..

How much money could one save in gas by always staying to the inside of a curve by shifting lanes while driving on the highway? I’m not looking for an exact value, just a relative comparison between always on the outside of a curve, the middle, and always on the inside. You can ignore traffic and assume that all lanes are equal speed.

Yer Pal,
Jesse

The Answer

Let’s make a lovely little “perfect” world. In our perfect world, Boston is at the exact center of a half circle inscribed by Rte. 495 in Massachusetts. In real life, we’ll use I-495 from the intersection of I-93 in Andover, MA to the north, and I-495′s intersection with Rte. 24 in the south. This allows for an almost (meaning not really at all) perfect half-circle around Boston. Using I-90 as the diameter line, we discover that the radius of our circle is 27.5 miles, or 145200 feet.

The plan is simple – we will inscribe 2 circles, one on the “inner” lane of this simplified route, and one on the outer lane. According to my research, the most common lane width is 12 feet. Let’s assume a 3-lane highway – so, the “inner” lane has a radius of 145200 feet and the outer lane adds 24 feet to that total – 145224.

Calculating the perimeter of the circle will give us the distance traveled in each lane. Perimeter of a circle is calculated via 2 * (pi) * r, so a half circle is simple: (pi) * r. (For our estimation, pi is estimated at 3.14159).

Inner lane distance: 86.39 miles
Outer lane distance: 86.41 miles

Assuming 30 miles per gallon in your vehicle, this means:

Inner lane gas used: 2.879 gallons
Outer lane gas used: 2.880 gallons

So, in essence, by travelling only in the inner lane, you would save 0.001 gallons of gas. (Because of the tiny amount here, I ignored the “middle” lane and stuck with the right and left only).

Not quite as exciting as expected, is it?

The Question

Dear Mr. McQuaid,

Long time reader, first time questioner (is that even a word). I was recently informed that if you are driving fast enough in a convertible with the top down while it’s raining then you, and the interior of the car itself, will not get wet. Is this true? And, if it is true, how fast must you be going in order to stay dry?

Curious in Worcester,
Bisol

The Answer

It’s doable…but extremely unlikely in a convertible. The problem is that you are unlikely to achieve the required speeds in any car. Sprinkling and misting are another story….

In order for the steady rain to not fall in the car, you will need to provide some force that pushes it away (up or to the side). Generally speaking, the rain will fall downwards and into the car when it is moving at normal speeds – aerodynamic flow is not enough. There’s always going to be some rain ready to fall into the car no matter how fast you are going. If I could draw in MSPaint, I’d supply you a picture, but for our purposes, imagine raindrops falling across the screen, and your car under them.

If you wanted to go fast enough to repel the rain, you’d need to create a shock wave powerful enough to shift the rain away from the vehicle. This requires some major speed, and the only way to do it reliably is to approach and break the sound barrier. The compressed air from your vehicle traveling at above the speed of sound should be enough to shift the rain away from car and keep you dry. Of course, you are dealing with other risks, such as the air damaging your head…

Now, if it’s just sprinkling or misting, that’s another story. The aerodynamic flow of air over the roof of the car is probably enough to divert most of the rain in that case. The speed required is proportional to the size of the raindrops. But a hard rain won’t be shifted by anything less than a shock wave…

The Question

Becky asks:

Why does every gas station charge an extra $.009 per gallon? I vaugly remember hearing something about taxes. However, why don’t the stations just round it up and keep the extra fraction of a cent? Personally, I’m happy they don’t round up, but it bothers me that they use a nonexistant monitary unit.

Also, is there anything else in the world that is sold like this?

The Answer

It’s an intriguing question, isn’t it? Why would anyone do this? And what else does this?

First, let’s answer the “why”.

It turns out, the reason that gas stations add tenths of a cent on to their price is purely marketing; nothing to do with taxes, nothing to do with esoteric gasoline laws – it’s simply a marketing ploy. Gas stations feel that customers are more likely to select them if they advertise their price as $2.899 than $2.90. And nothing prohibits them from doing so. Also, keep in mind that gas stations round UP the final price, so if your final pump price is $32.982, it’s really $32.99. (There may be exceptions to this rule, but I haven’t found them).

So, the “why” is pure marketing.

Interestingly enough, in 1786, a unit of currency was legislated into legality, equal to “1000th of a dollar” or “a tenth of a cent”, known as a “Mill”. However, this currency was never minted by the federal government. Some states and local townships did use the mill for some time to settle taxes on really cheap stuff, but the practice fell out of use fairly quickly.

The mill is still legal today, but you’d be hard-pressed to find it commonly used in sales anywhere other than gas stations. HOWEVER, many municipalities use the mill when calculating their property tax. Property tax can be expressed in terms of mills per dollar. For example, a millage rate for property taxes of 2.094 mills per dollar will cost the homeowner of a $200,000 dollar home 0.002094 * 200000 = $418.80. (The mill rate for my town is currently 9.93, assessed bi-annually).

So, there’s more than just gas that uses the mill, but not much more. Enjoy your mill knowledge!

The Question

Meghan asks:

Can sound kill?

The Answer

Yes! Sound can indeed kill. And here’s how.

Let’s talk about the different kinds of sonic weaponry. One of the prevailing sonic weapons that people hear about are the kind that generates an extremely low frequency reverberation, which is called subsonics. This weaponry generates a sound wave of less than 20 Hz, which is in tune with the resonant frequency of the organs in the human body and can cause them to vibrate. Intensify the energy of this sound wave, and you’ll get nausea, pain, loss of balance, and other severe discomfort. Intensify it enough, and there is the possibility that your organs could rupture.

It is known that the frequency of 0.56 Hz is the resonant frequency of the human eyeball, so a powerful enough emitter could cause your eyeballs to vibrate (blurred vision, general unease, etc).

Another type of sonic weapon is based on underwater sound waves. Generally, air is not a good enough conductor of sound to allow its use as a weapon. However, underwater, it’s a different story. It’s a known fact that running navigational sonar at high amplitudes can cause attacking frogmen to become disoriented, panicked, and deter them from an attack. Finally, the use of ultrasound to disintegrate solids in water is known, and could potentially be used as a weapon.

In general, the best practice is to stay away from loud, subsonic noises in the air, and away from attacking frogmen in the sea.

The Question
Patrick asks:

Horses and broken legs.

Barbaro broke his leg in the Preakness this weekend, and all of these people are saying that after surgery, he only has a 50% chance of living. I’ve heard this before: that a broken leg is a death sentence for a horse.

My question is: why?

After surgery and screws and plates and casts, can’t they come up with some sort of arrangement that keeps the horse alive and it heals his leg?

Humans break their legs all the time, and it’s a non-issue. Why is it a big deal for horses?

Thanks in advance.

The Answer

It has to do with the nature of the beast. No, really.

Horses stand up. That’s what they do. They stand. They stand to eat. They stand to move. They stand to sleep. If a horse isn’t standing, it’s either freshly born, or very sick. Hence, a horse that breaks its leg is in very rough shape indeed. A horse, by nature, is moving around and stamping and the like. When a horse breaks a leg, the only way for it to heal is for the horse to not stand on it – and 3 legs just doesn’t cut it. So, the horse has to be in a body-sling, which supports most of its weight, and then it has to be willing to not thrash around for the months it takes for the leg to heal.

Horses don’t have good blood flow to their lower legs. If the circulatory system of the leg is damaged when the break occurs, chances are good that the blood flow will be reduced to the point where infection is more likely. And since horses are so large, to kill an infection you would need to fill the horse with huge amounts of antibiotics, which will kill the horse’s intestinal bacteria and give the horse massive diarrhea (while it can’t move around). Not a pleasant thought. On the other hand, the anasthetic may give the horse massive constipation, to even things out. But when the horse comes out of the anasthesia, it might thrash a bit. Horses have been known to break their other legs when they come out of it and thrash wildly. (This can be offset by floating your horse in a giant pool of warm water so it can thrash to its heart’s content, but finding a large enough pool of warm water can be troublesome). Finally, if the horse favors the unbroken legs, and puts most of its weight on them, then a condition known as “laminitis” can develop, where the hoofs detach from the bone and drive themselves into the soft flesh of the leg. Then the horse can’t stand, which means it is very sick, and it gets deadly sores on its skin.

For all of these reasons, coupled with the age of the horse and its relative health, many times a broken leg is a death sentence. Many owners do not have the resources required to handle all the issues associated with a broken leg, and others simply feel that the chances of success are too slim to risk putting the horse through all these painful and/or uncomfortable activities.

But I hear that Barbaro is doing well! And he did get the “suspended in giant pool of warm water” treatment. So, go Barbaro! Get well soon!

REBUTTAL!!!

It’s true! They do lie down to sleep from time to time. BUT for the most part, they spend life on their feet. Still, I feel the need to confess to the fact that my original sentence (preserved above) may have been misleading. Thanks Jes!

The Question

Jon Abad asks:

Does soda go bad?

I just got a Mountain Dew out of the coke machine and there is a “For Best Taste, Drink by this date” thing on the side like with certain american beers.

So my question to the all powerful Oz (aka McQuaid) is can soda go bad while its in the can? What’s its shelf life? Will it outlive us all?

The Answer

Yes —– and no!

First off, the ingredients in soda are generally water, carbon dioxide, sugar (or sugar replacement), and flavoring. Luckily, none of these will “go bad” in the traditional sense (microorganisms taking over the can and poison the drinker).

Let’s look at the ingredients individually and see what we can see.

– WATER
Water will not go bad. And since the can is sealed, it won’t evaporate. No problem here.

– CARBON DIOXIDE
The carbon dioxide WILL eventually percolate out of the can through osmosis. This means that eventually, the soda will go flat. Does this constitute “going bad”? I think not – the soda is still consumable, you just may not want to. This could indicate why the “best taste by” date is given on your can of Mountain Dew.

– SUGAR
Usually a growth medium for everything, the sugar in the can is protected by being vacuum sealed in, and by being in solution. Shouldn’t be a problem here. BUT….

– SUGAR SUBSTITUTE
Aspartame is under fire by certain groups who state that it breaks down into methanol and formaldhyde in the small intestine, and that is unhealthy. While it is undisputed that this occurs, some state that the levels are not toxic, since alcoholic beverages do the same thing. There is evidence both ways.
In any case, the argument is that the aspartame decomposes into methanol and formaldhyde if left in a metal can for too long. This probably ruins the taste of the soda if it does occur.

– FLAVORING
The flavoring components are usually matched with preservatives, so there’s no chance of them causing the soda to go bad.

In summary, I’d believe the label – for best TASTE, drink before the date on the can. Otherwise, the soda may be flat, taste too much like the can (from slowly eroding aluminum molecules away), or be otherwise compromised.

The Question

I was recently informed of the site http://www.phillies2008.com

is this for real, or an april fools joke, or what?

The Answer

It’s no joke. George Phillies is indeed seeking the office of President of the United States as a long-standing member of the Libertarian party. His main competition for the Libertarian nomination is Lance Brown, CEO for People’s Forums. His web site was recently updated and looks a lot more professional and serious than the original version released in April.

Wikipedia has a good amount of information on the subject of third-party candidates for President

There’s also an article on Phillies himself at Wikipedia.

I never had the experience of Phillies at professor during my WPI education, so I don’t have any information on his teaching, but now we can find out everything we could ever dream about his Presidential platform. Brushed by fame, indeed.

The Question

Tom asks:

Have you ever noticed the signs on the highway which say “Begin Measured Mile”/”End Measured Mile”? What is the purpose of these signs? Aren’t the normal mileposts markers measured as well?

The Answer

It comes down to the type of road you are driving on. Interstate highways ALWAYS have the “measured mile” signposts – they are present by rule. However, state highways (such as Rte. 24 in Massachusetts, for example) and US highways (such as Rte. 1)aren’t regulated as strictly. For them, certain areas may not have the “measured mile” signposts, or the signposts may not start at the state border or the beginning of the road.

In cases such as this, the sign “Begin Measured Mile” lets the driver know that the mile signposts start HERE, and not at the state border or at the beginning of the road. It also indicates where the “official” US measurement begins – any other signposts showing mileage were installed by local or state authorities, not by the federals.

On a side note, on railroads, the “Begin Measured Mile” sign (paired with “End Measured Mile” sign) allow the engineer to check the accuracy of his speedometer by counting the time between the two signs and extrapolating his or her speed to compare against the speedometer’s measurement. Better safe than sorry, it seems…

NOTE: This is the second “diversion” posted as part of Defy S. McQuaid. In a diversion, no user-submitted question is answered, but instead, a topic of interest is discussed. (By interest, I mean “interest to me at the moment”, and possibly not interesting to you. Sorry.)

The Question

What is the best material choice overall when re-flooring your basement that was flooded during the torrential and continuous rains last week?

The Answer

Gee, I just happen to have a great answer for this one. Seems that’s exactly the situation I’ve been working on for the last week or so.

Last Monday (not yesterday, the one before that), I happened to go down into my finished basement as usual in the morning to check email and the like. Sitting at my computer, I noticed that the dog had followed me down the stairs. Next, I heard slurping.

It turned out that I was sitting in the only dry spot in the basement. Everything else was soaking wet.

After sucking 100+ gallons of water out of the basement, it became apparent (via the smell) that the carpet we had had down there was done for. But what to put down to replace it?

Here are the options:

Nothing. Just leave it open concrete
PRO: Do nothing. No work.
CON: HUGE downgrade. No way.
Replace the carpet
PRO: Carpet is nice to stand on. Also, the tack strips are already there.
CON: If water happens again, it has to be replaced again. This is expensive. (I NEVER had water down there before, and they ARE saying this is a “100 year storm”, but I don’t trust them.) Also, carpet in a basement can only be musty after a while.
Install wood floor or laminate
PRO: Well, it will look nice. Expensive though.
CON: Well, if it floods again, it’s done. Even if the laminate is moisture-resistant, it can’t stand up to actual water. Also, it’s expensive. And you have to put foam under it, which will absorb water.
Install linoleum
PRO: Linoleum is safe. If it floods again, you mop it up.
CON: Good linoleum is expensive ($2+/sq. ft). Cheap linoleum is not, but you still have to have it installed, which is expensive. More expensive than carpet.
Install your own vinyl tile
PRO: Cheap!
CON: Cheap looking! Also, work. I’m tired now. Seems like a bit of a downgrade.
Install indoor/outdoor carpet (glue down)
PRO: If it gets wet, it dries without dying. Also, it’s inexpensive ($0.62/sq. ft.) and installation is cheap too if you’ve removed your carpet already (which I have). Also, you can do the stairs instead of leaving the sea-foam green old stained carpet on it. Also, you don’t have to install it yourself.
CON: …..still waiting…..nope, ain’t got one.

I assume that you, the gentle reader, can ascertain my choice.

Next week: Back to your regularly scheduled answers!

The Question
Mike D asks:

Dear Shaun,

I recently discovered Dunkin Donut’s Dunkaccino. I want to be able to make this delicious beverage at home. My question is such:
Can you figure out the recipe to Dunkin Donut’s Dunkaccino?

Curious,
mike d.

The Answer

Yes, yes I can.

Oh, you want the recipe?

Basically, the Dunkaccino is a combination of coffee, cocoa, and cream. Here’s how to whip one up.

Make some coffee. Make some cocoa – BUT make sure to use only whole milk as the liquid in the cocoa – no water, no skim milk. Have some half-and-half on-hand. Also, you’ll need a pinch of salt. And a little non-dairy creamer.

Your cup is half coffee. Fill with cocoa to 3/4 of the way. Mix in about 3 tablespoons of the half-and-half. Add a pinch of salt and a spoon or two of the non-dairy creamer. Mix well. Enjoy!

NOTE: The author has not, in fact, tried this recipe. It was distilled from an ingredients list, nutrition information, and general culinary knowledge. The author does not, in fact, like coffee.

“And just one more time….KARATE!!!”

The Question

Patrick asks:

I was driving to work the other day, and there was an old Subaru in front of me at a stop light. And in the lane next to the old Subaru, there was a new Subaru. I noticed that they had different logos!

The current logo has an oval with a large star in the upper left and a pattern of five smaller starts on the right side.

The older logo had 5 of the 6 stars in the exact same place. However, the left-most little star was placed in a completely new location! In the current design, it is to the SE of the large star, but in the old logo, it’s decidedly to the SW, and when you see the metal badge on the rear of the car, that little star actually sits on the oval!

Are you following me?

Anyway, I was wondering what caused the change of star location and when it happened? I can understand a completely redesigned logo, but they just moved one little star. What was wrong with it before?

The Answer

To answer your first question: No, I’m not following you. If I was following you, you wouldn’t suspect it, since I have cat-like reflexes and ninja-like skills. In fact….LOOK BEHIND YOU! I’m not there. I’m over HERE! On the EAST COAST!

Now, to the Subaru question. The word “subaru” in Japan represents the constellation of the Pleiades – hence, the reason the stars are present in the logo at all. And you are correct – there is an “old” logo and a “new” logo. Here’s the old one:

And here’s the new logo:

Your description of the stars moving around is flawless – one star did make a massive shift in position from the bottom left to the bottom right. Why, you ask?

About 15 years ago, Fujitsu Heavy Industries (the parent company of Subaru) underwent a re-branding process. The old logo for that company was a red…thing. It looked a bit like a boomerang on its side. However, they wanted to make it clear that they owned Subaru, so they took the Subaru logo, re-designed it a bit, and then re-released it as the overarching logo. The reason they chose the logo in the first place was the fact that the company, when it formed in 1953, five smaller companies joined into one big company – hence the 5 little stars and one big star. By moving the little star on the bottom left over next to the other 4 stars on the bottom right, the company sacrifices a bit of astronomical accuracy for a clearer image of 5 small stars on one side, and the single large star on the other. It’s not like the old symbol was very accurate anyways; take a look at the Pleiades constellation some time – it’s close, but not quite accurate.

Hopefully this answers your question. I would like to acknowledge the assistance of Shamus, who felt the need to test his searching abilities against this most difficult question, and who found the images for me of the old and new logos.

The Question
Aaron asks:

In celebration of this glorious spring, I beseech thee, McQuaid. Why do some animals hibernate during the winter, and others (like squirrels, which you would think would hibernate) don’t?

The Answer

Wow, I’m answering a question in the same season it was asked in. That, my friends, is progress!

(The picture you see is a marmot, ready to hibernate. Marmots hibernate for up to 7 months of the year.)

Animals hibernate in general to avoid burning energy that they can’t replace in the winter. For example, black bears (which are not “true” hibernators, by the way) will enter a period of inactivity where the body temperature drops, the heartbeat slows, and activity ceases. A true hibernator will allow its body temperature to drop to extremely low temperatures (like 60 degress) and will not wake easily. A torpid animal (like the bear) will drop to maybe 85 degrees and can be woken up fairly easily.

In any case, the question is why do some animals hibernate and others do not. The answer is a combination of evolution and chemistry. As far as evolution goes, some animals who have become accustomed to life in warmer climates have lost the ability to hibernate. A good example are pet hedgehogs, which are based on an African breed. While local hedgehogs do hibernate through the winter, a pet hedgehog cannot. It can enter a hibernation-like state if it gets too cold, but it no longer has the ability to safely come out of it. This is true for other animals as well; if the animal has evolved to match the surroundings, and they are warm most of the time, it will have lost the ability to hibernate.

Another point is that hibernation is only one of the ways that nature has come up with to deal with winter food shortages. Some animals (like the squirrels we have around here) have evolved a different mechanism – instinctual food storage. This allows them to survive the winter since they have a food supply ready to go. Other animals migrate when it gets too cold and food is scarce. The point is, there’s more than one way to survive the winter, and it’s not likely that all animals evolved towards the same method.

On to chemistry. It turns out that some squirrels do, in fact, hibernate, and that a substance known as “Hibernation Induction Trigger” (HIT) can be extracted from the blood of the hibernating animal. When injected into another squirrel, the squirrel will go into hibernation. This has been shown to be extremely useful, because hibernating cells don’t need much oxygen; they are kind of suspended. Hence, organs that have been donated and are being transported can last longer if they are infused with HIT. Neat, eh? Anyways, animals that have the ability to generate HIT can hibernate; others cannot. This goes back to the “different methods to solve the same problem” discussion.

NASA is interested in HIT and hibernation in general, since it would be useful to hibernate the crew during a flight time of years.

I hope this answers your question to your satisfaction.

The Question

Where do we get the helium to put in tanks and balloons and such? If it’s lighter than air, wouldn’t all of the helium on earth just float to the top of the atmosphere?

Roland says:
According to Wikipedia, “On Earth it is created by the radioactive decay of much heavier elements (alpha particles are helium-4 nuclei produced by alpha-decay). After its creation, part of it is trapped with natural gas in concentrations up to 7% by volume.”

The Answer

Roland’s data is, it seems, technically correct. But it’s only half the story!

Helium is the second-most-abundant element in the universe. Most of the helium on Earth is helium-4 (which, as Roland states, is produced by radioactive decay). However, most of the helium in the universe is helium-3, which is produced by nuclear fusion in the heart of a star.

(interesting aside: if we take the long view, eventually (trillions and quadrillions of years from now) there won’t be any hydrogen left in the universe to form stars and burn. Helium will be the new hydrogen. Of course, trillions of years later the lowest element around will be something like iron, and iron can’t fuse, so the stars will go out. Huh.)

Like Roland says, most of the helium that we harvest (the United States is, in fact, the top helium producing country in the world) comes from natural gas deposits. The helium is removed via the liquification of all the other gasses in the mix. Helium has an extremely high boiling point, so, as the temperature drops, all the other gasses in the mix liquify before the helium and can be simply poured away.

But what happens to the helium that isn’t stored in the crust of the planet? Well, some of it gets stuck in the very top of the atmosphere. But the rest of it “escapes into space”.

Now, if I escaped into space, I’d do more than just lolligag around, enjoying the emptiness. Helium feels the same way.

Helium goes to Mars!

That’s right, all the helium that escapes the Earth goes to Mars and visits the city it was named for; Helium. Helium (the city) is the main bastion of civilization on Mars, and is the home city of John Carter from the Edgar Rice Burroughs stories. Helium (the element) likes to visit Helium (the city) and wreak havoc in serious conversations by slipping in to people’s lungs and making them sound silly.

(another aside: There is another non-poisonous gas called sulfur hexafluoride that has the opposite effect; when you inhale it, your voice gets really LOW. Weird, eh?)

In any case, that’s the story on helium. Remember, don’t inhale helium from pressurized cylinders, because that could explode you. Also, don’t inhale too much helium, because the breathing mechanism is triggered by too much carbon dioxide, not missing oxygen, so it’s easy to asphyxiate. Cheers!

The Question

Jocelyn asks:

Ok with the Olympics here, I have a question. Why is it that Pro Figure Skaters are no longer allowed to compete, but Pro Basketball players can? What are the rules??

The Answer

Well, I was tempted to not answer this question until the next Olympics came around, in an effort to not show how long it’s taken to get to this one…but alas, I cannot resist the call of duty.

It seems to me that the Olympics now allow professional competitors in all sports but 2 – boxing, and men’s football (soccer to us Americans). All other sports are open to amateurs and professionals alike, including figure skating. The reason for this is that some competitors were working full-time on their sport (just as if they were professionals) but they were employed by the government (generally in Communist states). To even the playing field, professionals were allowed in.

In any case, I hope this provides a satisfactory answer. And it’s less than a year late! Woo!

The Question

Ben asks:

What’s with the pink and yellow line painted on the tread of new tires?

The Answer

Ben, I wish I had something interesting to report here. But this answer is lame.

The pink and/or yellow line on new tires is applied to show you that, since testing in the factory, the tire hasn’t been driven on. The point is, they aren’t trying to pawn you off with a used tire but making you pay for a new one.

I’m disappointed. I was hoping that there was perhaps a code buried in the color, or that tires were marked with quality grades, or that there was NO EXPLANATION whatsoever, and I’d have the chance to write about aliens marking new tires in the night. Or that the line never really fades, just our perception of it.

But it was not to be.

The Question

Ben asks:

Shaun, simple question for you today:

If I was to drive the Mass Pike from the beginning (NY border) to the end (Logan Airport) exclusively in the right lane, would i travel a longer or shorter distance than someone traveling in the left lane? (we can ignore the pesky middle lane since it only exists on like half the pike)

The Answer

Taking a quick look at the road map, the casual observer will see that the Mass Pike curves in a gentle “U” shape, starting at the MA border, dipping down to drift through Springfield, staying low through Sturbridge, then slowly drifting back up for it’s eventual end in Boston. Given that this is the case, it’s clear that the left lane is shorter (just like how the inside track in a circular race course is shorter).

BUT WAIT! Have you taken into account the CURVATURE OF THE EARTH?

Well, of course! Would you expect anything less from me?

A “Great Circle Route” shortens the distance you travel on the globe by taking into account the curvature of the Earth. However, because we are in the Northern Hemisphere, any Great Circle Route would curve DOWN, like a frown, not UP, like the Mass Pike. So, even with the curvature taken into account, the left lane is STILL shorter.

Here are some posts from other would-be answerers or commenters on the question.

Mike D says
whoa! I’ve been wondering this same thing for years!

Now you can rest easy, Mike D….

Kurt says
Don’t forget the Right lane at around exit 9 becomes the middle due to the addition of the NYC traffic. So the right lane would become that pesky middle lane. And if you try to go the other way, the right lane would dissappear as it is the exit lane for Exit 9 (Rt84) Don’t forget to keep that in mind while calculating that all knowing Shaun.

No worries. I take all factors into account. Even the gravitational constant. And the X-files (especially the episodes with cameos from current West Wing stars). Please note that we are only concerned with the “left-to-right” journey in this answer…

Patrick says
You’d be driving a longer distance in the right hand lane.

Our conclusions agree, Patrick. As a side note, Interstate 90 would continue beyond the MA border, across the country, and directly into Seattle. Connected by the same road! Ever drive on I-90?

The Question

Becky asks:

Follow-up question.

Given:
-Life on Earth is Carbon based.
-The second most common element in the earth’s crust is Silicon (28% by weight, Oxygen is first).
-Silicon Dioxide is the most common compound (42% by weight).
-Carbon and Silicon both have room for 4 electrons on their outer orbitals, so their affinity for electrons should be equal.

Question:
Why is life on Earth Carbon based instead of Silicon based?

(figures taken from http://education.jlab.org/glossary/abund_ele.html)

The Answer

Another question from the elegant, intelligent Becky. I relish the challenge.

The answer lies in the fact that carbon knows how to party and get along with others of its kind. Silicon is a poor partier and an angry drunk, so it gets left out of the life-shindig. Carbon is very comfortable hanging out in multiple configurations with other carbon molecules (chains, links, etc) – silicon, when put in the same configuration, tends to either fall apart or EXPLODE. While an exploding life form might be interesting, it’s likely to be short-lived.

Carbon likes to hang out in molecules of tens of thousands of atoms. Silicon, being kind of lame and boring, only hangs out at most with 6 other atoms of the same kind, and that’s only in the lab – being such big dorks and all, parties are beyond silicon’s ken.

Finally, carbon has chirility, or handedness. Most organic molecules form in left or right “handed” configurations – and silicon is a big ambidextrous loser. The chirility is what allows carbon molecules to form chains, which are required in organic compounds.

I hope this answers your question, Becky. Carbon likes to get out and party, and silicon stays at home and smells like rotten eggs.

The Question

Becky asks:

Shaun,

Being raised Roman Catholic, and attending a rather strict version of Sunday School, I had a lot of exposure to Christianity growing up. I’m also of a scientific, logical mind-set.

Keeping in mind we can never know anything for certain, there is overwhelming evidence of evolution that a biologist cannot deny. From my experience, the majority of things in science reject any form of intelligent design. Still, all the matter in the universe came from somewhere. Even the big bang couldn’t have started on it’s own.

So, my question is, is it hypocritical to believe that God created everything and also believe that humans evolved from apes?

The Answer

Becky, I believe this is the first time I’ve had a question in this realm. More often the questions are cut and dried, black and white, with answers ranging from the subtle to the gross, but this…this is belief, this is philosophy. And yet there is a teensy bit of research we can do here.

The Roman Catholic faith does not hold with a literal interpretation of the Bible in all cases. In addition, Catholic faith calls for the use of a combination of supernatural revelation in the Bible and natural revelation via the human mind. In the situation we are considering, this means that, as a Catholic, you are entirely within your belief structure when you consider the Creation story to be allegorical to a certain degree, and far from hypocritical when you consider the truth of science in this area and harmonize it with a Creator who got the ball rolling and created the rules under which the universe operates (such as evolution).

No hypocrisy here, Becky. Rest easy.

As a side note, let me just say that I am neither a theologian nor an expert – and that, if anyone finds the content of this answer to be contrary to their belief structure, be assured that I am neither attempting to convince anyone of anything nor advocating anything. To each their own.

The Question

Dear Shaun,

I have some burning questions about Halloween. I know the usual 2nd grade equivalent of All Hallow’s Eve, but I want to know more about where it originated and for what purpose. In addition, I’m particularly interested in how the transition from scary costumes (ghosts, bats) to less scary (Smurfette – what I am this year) and plain stupid (post-its, fish) came about. Further, what is the most popular candy given out on halloween? And moreso, what is the ettiquette for people living in apartments or top floors of houses? How are they supposed (are they?) logistically give out candy??

Yours,
Theresa.

The Answer

Wow, Theresa, you have somehow managed to sneak at least 3 questions into one. Bravo!

Scary costumes were the norm for Halloween until around the 70′s. Somehow, the 70′s were scary enough, and people decided that it might be a good idea to go goofy. Hence, He-Man made his appearance at Halloween. This was not a good move, since He-Man wasn’t much less frightening than the Grim Reaper himself, but it was a start.

The most popular candy in the past has always been that friendly, reliable Snickers. HOWEVER! Your question comes at an opportune time, since Snickers has been body-slammed from the top quite recently, not once, but TWICE! In 2004, Snickers was relegated to #2, as Candy Corn took the top slot. And THEN, to add insult to injury, in 2005 the Lemon Head took #1! Amazing!

One way that some high-rise apartment buildings handle Halloween is that they create a “list” of some kind where “residents” can sign “up” to “receive” Halloween “trick-or”-treaters.

Okay, done with the quotation marks. Sorry.

The “list” mechanism (My finger slipped! Honest!) is generally enough to get hordes of children into an apartment building, completely disregarding the list and banging on every door in the place, demanding sweets.

Generally, etiquette calls for residents of high-rise buildings to have candy available in a volume proportional to the resident’s floor. For example, a resident on floor 7 needs less candy than someone on the first floor. Keep in mind that the top floor is a kid magnet, so the same rules apply for the top floor as the bottom floor.

I hope this clears up some of the confusion you’ve been experiencing. It appears that you asked this question around Halloween of 2005. Hmm….have I been this lax with question answering?

Gentle Readers:

This week, as the Power behind “Defy S. McQuaid” has dictated, we witness a bit of a diversion from the usual Question/Answer format.

In this installment, S. McQuaid will answer a question posed BY himself TO himself. Prepare yourself.

The Question

Word on the street has it – S. McQuaid used to work at McDonald’s during the Golden Age of the mid-90′s. True? And if so, what items of culinary mastery were created that can no longer be acquired at the local Golden Arches?

The Answer

Yes, it is true. During my tenure at the town McDonald’s, cheeseburgers flew fast and furious. Grill items were prepared with enthusiasm and correctness at blazing speed. The “Black Hole” (the first car I ever owned, a 1985 Chrysler New Yorker, black, and it TALKED) was in full operation. And Sean Connery often answered consumers at the drive-thru speaker. (Note the clever mis-spelling of “Drive Thru” – that’s the way it is spelled on all McDonald’s internal literature).

But none of this bears on the second part of the question – what food items were created?

The proper question is, what food items were NOT created?

Let’s first examine the items that were on the menu at the time, but are no longer available. The first, and most important item, is the Arch Deluxe.

A breathtaking arrangement of meat, vegetables, and soft roll, the Arch Deluxe was marketed as the “Grown-up burger”. Definitely one of my favorite burgers to create (and consume), the Arch Deluxe was a masterwork of bacon, spices, meat, and special sauce. I won’t go into the details of the production of this beast, but if you are curious, there is an extensive Wikipedia article available: Arch Deluxe of Power

Also during this time frame, the McDonald’s Fajita was in full swing.

The fajita was fabulous – chewy yet tender, a taste unable to be characterized. And to think, as part of my morning routine, I created over a HUNDRED fajitas in less than 10 minutes. No lie. The fajita came with both Hot and Mild Picante sauce, and, in a series of independent taste tests undertaken several years back by myself and some compatriots, the Mild Picante sauce and a Small Coke were chosen as the Top Ranked Food Items at the local McDonald’s in Worcester. That tells you just how kicking the sauce was. (Details of this taste survey, which covered the main fast food establishments in the Worcester area, may be revealed at a later date).

And how can we forget The McRib?

A slab of meat, deboned, then processed into a moldable medium, and finally shaped to appear as if it actually had bones. But it didn’t. Soaked in tasty barbeque sauce and served with real onions, the McRib was always a huge seller. And, if you accidentally drop a McRib meat-shape into a fryalator, NOTHING HAPPENS. The McRib is impervious to hot oil, and does not even deign to interact with it. Freaky.

Dozens of culinary masterpieces were birthed in the grill of my local McDonald’s that cannot be found anywhere else. Take, for instance, the PickleBurger. The PickleBurger was requested by a friend and created by the power of planning, execution, and S. McQuaid. The request was for “a Double Quarter Pounder with more pickles than meat”. Some might quail at a request like this. I did not. The PickleBurger was produced, and approved, and consumed over the course of a half hour.

The secret of the PickleBurger is LAYERS. In order to construct the beast, strict layering protocols were followed. For the first time, I am revealing the hidden recipe to you, the gentle reader.

—————> Top Bun (with sesame seeds, of course)
—————> The Intangibles (ketchup and mustard)
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> Real Onions (the non-dehydrated, natural variety)
—————> Single layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One all-beef quarter-pound (before cooking) patty
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One all-beef quarter-pound (before cooking) patty
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> Bottom Bun

This is just a brief survey of the magnificence that was S. McQuaid in the McDonald’s grill. I certainly hope that you, the gentle reader, are edified and informed, and perhaps even a tear was shed during this stroll down Memory Lane.

The Question

mike d. asks:

Dear Shaun McQuaid,

Why the heck is there a cold season? This doesn’t make sense to me.

The only two things that I could think that might cause it are
1) cold weather. in which case… does Mexico or Mediterranian countries have cold seasons?
2) kids go back to school. in which case… why doesn’t cold season last until June? It can’t be because we grow more immune, because if were were more immune then there wouldn’t be another cold season the next year.

Shaun McQuaid… I’m lost and confused! Please help!

sick of being sick,
mike d.

The Answer

There have been a number of studies done, trying to show a correlation between the cold weather of winter and an increase in illnesses. The results have been conflicting; some show a massive correlation, some show none at all. But you can’t throw out decades of experience – there has to be SOMETHING.

The answer I believe makes the most sense is this:

In the winter season, regardless of whether you live in sunny California or wicked cold New England, the air tends to be drier. Dry air will dry out your sinuses and your nasal passages. And dry nasal passages and sinuses are less able to filter out the germs.

Hence, a twofold effect: When you breathe in the germs, they are more likely to infect you. And when you sneeze or breathe out, you are more likely to infect others. It’s a sort of positive feedback loop.

Thus, a cold season.

The Question

Meghan asks:

Just out of pure curiosity, what exactly would have to be different about a person’s body chemistry to allow them to alter the color of a bath towel simply by drying themselves with it? This is a purely objective question, mind you. I CERTAINLY don’t know ANYONE who has EVER done this…*coughshauncough*

The Answer

Well, that person would need to be very special indeed.

There is one easy way to affect the color of a towel – you can bleach it! That will change the color of it. However, I think we can assume that the person in question does not exude bleach. So how could this have happened?

Well, think about bleach, for a moment. What is the defining trait of bleach? Why, that it’s extremely alkaline, that’s what! So perhaps the person in question also was very alkaline (like a human battery, perhaps). That would definitely affect the color of a towel.

Or, perhaps they had something that was very alkaline on them – like soap! Unless they were using Dove (which is PH balanced, of course), the soap might have been very basic, and said person might not have rinsed themselves off completely.

Or perhaps, the water in the shower had some strange trait. Perhaps it was softened? This, in combination with a slightly alkaline body chemistry, could potentially change fabric colors.

I think the most likely solution is a combination of all three items. So we have softened water, an incomplete rinse cycle, and a human battery. No wonder the towel changed color in the presence of so much POWER!

The Question

Karen asks:

Dear Shaun (alias Dr. Hoogenheimer) Recently I moved back to my hometown—a quaint little place I am thoroughly enjoying. Every time I drive down Main Street I see something either very interesting or very amusing. Yesterday, I beheld what seemed to be, a very agitated person beating up one of the parking meters with a large piece of wood. This got me to thinking—–just how long have parking meters been in existance? Where were they first installed? I sincerely believe the ones in my town are in mortal danger……

Also, wasn’t that picture on the “Defy Shaun McQuaid” banner the same one that was on your bedroom door for years???

The Answer

Well, it’s an interesting question. It turns out that (with a few disagreeing folks) the parking meter was invented in 1935 by a fellow who goes by the name of Carl C. Magee. Mr. Magee had been appointed to the “traffic committee” of Oklahoma City, and was trying to resolve parking issues stemming from the fact that the employees of stores were taking all of the on-street parking, and customers couldn’t park. (This seems a little self-defeating on the part of the employees – but who am I to judge?). He applied for his patent that year and was awarded it in 1938. Of course, the first boxes were not armored, and it was simply a matter of swatting the box with a piece of wood to extricate the change within. Perhaps your meter attacker was a time-traveler from the past, who didn’t realize that parking meters are now impervious to wooden assault?

Indeed, the “Defy S. McQuaid” picture has been in my possession for many, many years. However, Mike D. has not yet seen fit to return it to the page, or update it for today’s discerning audience….perhaps this prod will push him in the right direction?