Posted by mike d. Filed in paintbrush

The first challenge of the Ultimate Blogger championship was to put together a pitch. Each of the contestants had to pitch something. The decision for me was clear. With my affinity for drawing My Little Ponies, it was only natural for me to try and sell the idea of mechanized military fighting ponies.

Here’s my submission:

My Little Pony is a phenomenon that took the United States by storm in the early 1990’s*. These little toy ponies were by far the coolest toys for young girls and effeminate boys countrywide. NOT only could you get the ponies, you could get cloud castle, and all sorts of hair accessories that you could use to turn your pony into the hottest pony on this side of the Prime Meridian. In the Ultimate Blogging world of My Little Ponies, Zoe would probably have the most impressive end result. It’s all about product.

The obvious evolutionary step for these cute ponies would be to turn them into mechanized military fighting machines. With governments spending all sorts of research dollars on robotic warriors, why not take advantage of a design that will likely bring extreme fear into the hearts of the unexpecting.

As usual, I made an MSPaint image. Check it out:

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Now, don’t be confused… these wouldn’t be toys. They would be life sized my little pony death machines. We could send ‘em into dangerous mystical countries like ‘Austria’ and ‘Canadia’ to seek and destroy all things evil. They would obviously be powered by rainbows and pneumatics and be able to withstand heavy machine gun fire and tank piercing rounds. Complete with Jet Packs and guns that make you go ‘mmm,’ these ponies will leave you wishing your TNMT pizza van was turbo. They might not be the cheapest weapons of mass destruction, but I assure you they would be the most pretty.

*it was pointed out by a few of the other contestants that my time frame here is all wrong. My Little Pony has dominated the shelves of toy-stores everywhere for far longer than 16 years.

I hope my submission is well received by the Blogging Superstars. I put my heart into that one. I hope that all of you will check out the other entries here. I’ve been talking to a few of these bloggers more intensly, and I have to say… if I am anything like them, than I have fulfilled all sorts of childhood dreams.