You are in "".

In an ‘every man for himself’ cage match of Office Supplies, I think the staple remover would win.

It’s small enough so that the other office supplies probably wouldn’t consider it a threat in the beginning. But then, after the obvious favorites like the letter opener and scissors fell, I think the staple remover would gnash its wicked teeth and decimate the rest of its opponents.

I’ve left it huge so that you can see the details of my stupidity.

There are 10 types to people in this world: those who understand binary calculus and those who don’t.

Wow.

I really didn’t have much to write about today until my sister sent me an e-mail. In this e-mail is a link to this.

“This” being a video of a flaming tuba. Watch it. Love it.

And here’s an article about how the tuba was made.

Thanks Alicia + Hadas!

Animals and their problems.

example.

A pretty funny joke would be to name your daughter “Carbon Fourteen” so that when she was a teenager all her suiters would be Carbon Fourteen Dating.

I mean come on, that’s perfect.

With no disrespect to the person who spoke the words, a fellow co-worker used the following phrase at a meeting today.

coworker: okay guys, let’s get right into the meat of the potato.

Perfect.

What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Tonight, You Can Awesome will be on the Fuse Network (Canadian MTV) show “Munchies”. Check it out!

For the uninitiated, “You Can Awesome” is the latest Mike Mohan production. It’s a spoof of a 1980’s kids TV show, with math, pickles, and mechanical function-based engineering thermonuclear reactive devices.

Check out the newly updated site at http://www.youcanawesome.com/

I started carpooling with co-worker Bill today. This is extremely exciting because I love saving money on gasoline.

Also, Sander walked into my cubical yesterday and drew a chart on my white board. It looks something like this:

Last night I was chatting in a chat room with a few Ultimate Bloggers, one of whom was from England (brittanie) another (daniel) was from Australia. Daniel mentioned that it was lunch time over there. I mentioned that it was nearly my bedtime.

Brittanie: It’s Wednesday here too.
mike d: wow, it’s only Tuesday here.
Daniel: It’s March here.
mike d: Whoooa. how’s the future look?
Daniel: it’s good.
Daniel: brb. I have to go check on my hover car.

Now that’s humor.

Mechanical Engineer:

Our elite engineering design team is looking for a hard working Mechanical Engineer with design experience that is willing to take a project from start to finish. As we expand our product line and meet our customer’s specific and custom designs requirements we are finding a growing need for ambitious mechanical engineers who are as comfortable with selecting a motor as they are with trying new things. In the world of Superhero Engineers, we want our mechanical engineers to be more like Batman than like Superman.

Regional Sales Manager:

This new member of our sales team will be responsible for identifying and achieving commercial objectives in their assigned geographical charter. The primary focus of this job is a consistent execution of selling, account management, and customer relations activities day to day. Think Han Solo minus the sarcasm and blaster. Excellent written and verbal communications skills are a must; knowledge of welding and metals processing a plus.

Upon returning to my computer the other day I was greeted with this message:

Nicole: Mike D! I have a request from the brotherhood
Nicole: as of late APO has be lacking in Big awesomeness
Nicole: It’s sad
Nicole: so many bigs dont do anything or they make wicked lame binders
Nicole: A certain Nick C. specifically requested you come teach the new bigs this semester how to make binders of amazingness
Nicole: Betsy D confirmed your binder making skills
Nicole: and a wave of hushed conversation swept the room “Mike D the legend?” “can he really be true?”
Nicole: then Ernie who showed up for the meeting stood up
Nicole: and everyone was silenced by his alumni power
Nicole: and his own legendry glowed from within him
Nicole: as he cleared his throat and said
Nicole: “yes, the legend of Mike D is true, as I have seen him. He is both strong and powerful, and could kick batman’s butt any day. We are all not worthy”
Nicole: then a chorus broke into song
Nicole: and a flock of snow white doves … fresh snow, not that yellow kind…. flew in from the windows and suddenly….
Nicole: Ice Ice Baby broke out and there was break dancing and chocolate cake for all!

that’s right. Chocolate cake for all.

Thanks Nicole for the hilarity.

When most people think of Frank Lloyd Wright they think of his biggest and greatest creations. Houses like Falling Water and the Guggenheim museum in Bilbao. But many of FLW’s most influencial buildings were designed when FLW was first becoming an architectural giant. FLW lived in Oak Park, a small suburb of chicago that’s about 20 minutes from Midway Airport. Recently when I flew into Midway I decided to stop by FLW’s home and studio.

Frank lived here from 1899 until 1909 as he developed some of the architecture that helped define the Prarie style of architecture. It really is a fun house. I didn’t take the tour because I was cheap and a little concerned that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the airport on time, but it was a pleasure just to walk around the house snapping some photos.

As I wandered I noticed something sad. Next to the Frank lloyd wright house and the museum that honored him was another house.

How unfortunate it must be to live in the house next to frank lloyd wrights house. How do you give directions to your place?

“take a right onto chicago ave… you’ll see a huge beautiful house on the right, our house is the one right after that.”

Forever in the shadow of the greater house, this little gem deserves some notice. So here’s to you HouseNextToFrankLloydWright’sHouse! That your architect might sleep soundly knowing that even if only for a few brief moments, a tourist turned his camera from the giant that is FLW and focused it on your house next door.

During my sick day I stumbled upon “Broads learn football” (linked from my sister’s website)

It’s a blog that details the efforts of two women trying to learn how football works. These devoted patriot fans want to learn it on their own, so before you go to the site realize that you should not tell them anything or give them any hints on the rules of football in the comments.

Anyway, I highly recommend you scroll to the bottom of their site and read all the entries and comments. There’s so much humor.

Favorite Quotes
(regarding the mascot for the Dolphins) “I mean c’mon, the dolphin’s even wearing a tiny little helmet — how cute is that?”

“The right guard position begs the question: Is there a left guard? Or a wrong guard?”

“Let’s talk penalties. I know a little about holding. While most of us like to be held, apparantly football players don’t ”

Well done Hadas + Nancy. Well done.
Someone should do the exact same thing for Cricket.

More video of Jesse dancing with the hula doll.

(may take a few minutes to load)

We have an intercom at work. And any individual can page anyone else from their phone.

Just now there was a humerous exchange over said intercom:

Bill over intercom: Dave C, please call 236. Dave, please call 236.
a few seconds pass….
Mike A. over intercom: Dave C, please call 143. Dave, Please call 143.
a few seconds pass….
Bill over intercom: Dave, please disregard the 143 page. Call 236 instead.

last night’s highlights included this gem:

Jesse: “you choked on your own stupid.”

I need mentos and rootbeer… STAT!

My sister just sent me an e-mail and referred to Providence as provi-DANCE.

I appreciate little name changes like that. Does anyone have any others, please contribute in the comments?

format=
Real Name : Awesomer Name
example=
Atlanta : HOT-lanta

So much for my dream to be the first person to ever build a Viking ship out of popsicle sticks.

Last night I submitted an essay to a cheap contest. It went as follows:

I am known for my cheapness. It’s more than a mindset, it’s an obsession. I am a firm believer in saving on the little things so that I can afford the bigger things. I do all the typical savings routines: cut out coupons to save money on groceries, avoid the car AC to get more mileage per gallon, and eat my cereal at work to get the free milk. But when I read your plea for a testimony of the cheapest of cheap I knew exactly what you were referring to: The Laundry of 2000.

In the spring of 2000 I was finishing up my first year at college. I was a typical college student who was in a constant battle with my wallet. I did everything I could to save cash but even with all my attempts the laundry machines in the basement of my dorm still cost 1.25 per load.
I came up with a plan. I went home during spring break and washed everything I owned. I had 7 weeks left at school, and I was determined to make it all 7 weeks without needing to do laundry. I figured pants and shirts could be worn multiple times as long as I had clean undergarments. I would run out of boxers after about 4 weeks, but I had nearly seven weeks worth when I included swimming trunks,
running shorts, and the like. In the worst case I could always go commando. The first 5 weeks went pretty well. Socks were the first to go. I had gone sockless as often as possible, but my sandals had taken on the smell of something very unholy. One night during week 6, I was making a quick ride home for a theater production at the North Shore Music Theater. Unfortunately the trip home would be too quick to do a load of laundry so I needed to find a fix for my very angry feet. I walked to the communal bathroom and grabbed some brown paper towels. I carefully wrapped each foot twice and slipped them into my sneakers. If this didn’t absorb the stench I didn’t know what would.

My feet were miserable. Paper towels, it turns out, do not provide nearly the same amount of comfort as a cotton sock. My feet were sticky with sweat and the paper towels were crumpled masses of creases and folds. My family got quite a laugh as I kept making small adjustments to my footwear to try and make it more comfortable.

Despite the failed attempt at paper towel socks, I’m proud to report that I did make it the 7 weeks. And I did save that $1.25. Another victory for cheap folks everywhere.

-mike d.

Jon Abad made me a birthday card. check it out here.

This makes me want a cat.