What do you call Sean Combs with a God Complex?
(Answer in the comments)
I just got word that a loved one inadvertently blended their fingers in a blender. Gah!! Absolutely horrific!! Thankfully this individual escaped virtually unscathed – one trip to the ER and 7 stitches later and all is mostly well. Here was my e-mail to that individual: (The names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
I am so happy that you’re safe. I was quite shaken by your grating, horrific, story. What a crushingly scary event! It’s pureely awful. Your pulse must have been racing. Friend… You really threw the dice taking a chance cleaning it while it was plugged in. Don’t mince words, it must have hurt a lot!! I’m glad you didn’t beat around the bush in your decision to go to the ER. If you hadn’t, you’d be whipping yourself about it later. I’m a bit mixed about this. I’m half worried and half angry. What the frappe were you thinking? Your crafting hobbies could have ground to a halt.
I’m just glad you’re safe. Rest up. Keep yourself liquified. Blend some relaxation in with your busy schedule. Hopefully things will be smoothie sailing from here.
bwa ha ha
Imagine naming your child Void? Even just the initials VOID would be great. Vladimir Octavio Ignatious DiDonato.
Checks? Signing at the checkout? Legal documents? hilarious.
“please initial to show you’ve read and understand.”
Best practical joke ever.
Roommate Kevin had a great interaction with the folks at Etsy earlier this week. It all started with an e-mail that Kevin received highlighting a few items that the Etsy folks thought Kevin should see.
Kevin sent the following e-mail:
Hey Etsy Team!
So I get a lot of emails from you guys, which is cool.
I like the website, and all the cool stuff here, so I like getting the emails.
I’m a dude, and while in the past, I have shopped for women’s items as gifts, I’m single now.
The latest one was titled “Cottage Industry – Chabby Chic.”
This email would be awesome for the upcoming Valentine’s day, but like I said I’m single.
On V-Day, I’ll probably be drinking beer with other single friends while we pretend to forget what day it is and secretly cry a little on the inside.
So I was wondering if the emails I get could reflect manlier things?
Like Mens clothing, accessories, and house decorations that aren’t overstuffed with cute.
I know stuff like this is on here, but I’d be more likely to buy stuff if the emails reflected those.
Simone responded as follows:
Thanks for taking the time to write! I’d be happy to help.
I’m a girl and I completely understand. When it comes to guy’s stuff, it’s pretty tough to find it. The funny thing is, we actually just started sending out an email for just guys called Etsy Dudes.
You can sign up for it here.
Please let me know if you have any other questions and good luck. I know it’s pretty tough out there, but spring is right around the corner! You never know!
Etsy’s Support Team
I told Kevin he should try and ask Simone on a date. She sounds like a reasonable lady.
In other Etsy news, Chicago Caitlin has started up an Etsy page where she sells jewelry made from busted guitar strings! Awesome! Check it out here.
After a joyous day in Philly playing scrabble, drinking coffee, and appreciating strongly built brick mansions, I drove down to Baltimore to spend time with my sister Theresa.
Theresa opened the door to her apartment wearing these fluffy blue slippers.
“Whoa!” I exclaimed, “Those slippers are great!”
She gleefully responded:
“They are made from 100% Muppet!!!!!”