Posted by mike d. Filed in family

This past weekend Jen and I took the Parents D to see a play at the Bushnell in Hartford. It was Mom D’s birthday a few weeks back and what’s better than a theatrical production? Nothing! The choice? War Horse – complete with puppets and horses!

Gad zooks that play is dark.

I was completely unprepared for the carnage and emotionally draining plot. Sure, with the word War in the title I was expecting some level of seriousness – but there was death and destruction beyond my greatest expectations!

The production was amazing, use of sound and light were stunning, and of course the Horse puppets were awe inspiring. The puppeteers weren’t really hidden at all, but it eventually got the point where we no longer noticed them. In fact, the first half of the play was a bit slower than I would have liked… but you know… character development and stuff.

Overall, I’d give War Horse 4 stars. And despite the perhaps less than lively juxtaposition with my Mom’s birthday, it was an amazing experience. Unfortunately, the show is no longer available in Hartford – but I’d certainly recommend you go to check it out if it comes to your area.

Posted by mike d. Filed in family

Great music:

First dance:
First Dance

Some really weird/fun dance times:


Night falls on an epic day:


Truly an epic day of celebration. A big thanks to all those who participated in person and supported us from afar. So far marriage has been wonderful. We’re looking forward to many years of adventure.


Sorry Kurt!

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More pictures!

The setup:

Alicia preps the guests with sweet tunes:

Jen approaches!
She Approaches


The Kiss:
The kiss part

And… Married!

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Here we go!

The Rings:
The Rings

The Main Attraction:
The Main Attraction

A Perfect Tie Dimple:

The Wedding Party in its entirety:
The Wedding Party

More tomorrow!

Posted by mike d. Filed in family

At 2:30pm, with Jen tucked away in a preparation room, the guests began to arrive. We had about 50 people total, and as they arrived I greeted them, gracious but nervous about the upcoming event.

Just a tad bit nervous

Just a tad bit nervous

Alicia began playing her flute around 2:30. Shortly thereafter, mugs of apple cider in hand, family began to take their seats by the Pergola.


And right at about 3pm, Steve, Michelle (our officiant), and I headed to the Pergola to await the bride.

to the pergola!

Also, how epic is this Pergola?

Positions everyone, positions.

Positions everyone, positions.

Noah, our faithful MC/music guy, started up the processional: Air on a G String – J.S.Bach

My folks walked down the aisle first, followed by Jen’s mom and brother, Kelly (the maid of honor – heretoafter “MoH”), and finally Jen escorted by her Dad.

The Parents D.

The Parents D.

Mom G and Bro G.

Mom G and Bro G.

The MoH in all her red glory!

The MoH in all her red glory!

Here comes she!

Here comes she!

The Meet

The Ceremony was fast and furious. It started with a brief story by Michelle where she described her and Noah’s frequent attempts to get us hitched. Then, a first reading by my sister T ‘The Art of Marriage’ by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

The Art of Marriage

The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. ?It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. ?It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. ?

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.


Our second reading was read by Jen’s sister Kati: Celebration by Carl Thitchener


We celebrate the love that brought you to this day.

With love that deepens through many years, may you know its meaning and its mystery – how we become truly one in sharing ourselves with one another, and yet, remain truly two in our own uniqueness.

May your house be a place of happiness for all who enter it, a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for growing, a place for music, a place for laughter.

And may those who are nearest to you and dearest to you constantly be enriched by the beauty and the energy of your love for each other.


Next, we read our vows:

[insert name] I take you to be my (wife/husband), my best friend, and my future. Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face it together. Today I take my place as your (husband/wife). Please accept this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.


THEN, Michelle made it real and it was the kiss the bride part.



Bam! Married!

ta da!

ta da!

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Jen and I stumbled across The Wadsworth Mansion during one of our frequent Connecticut exploration adventures. She and I got our hands on an insider’s guide to CT, and the Wadsworth Mansion (and the accompanying falls) were on the list.


(That’s totally their professional promotional photo.)

The Mansion was built in the early 1900′s, designed by Francis Hoppin. It was built in much of the same style as some of the Newport Mansions with a greater focus on the landscape. Trees were planted in mass to visually support the structure and its surroundings. This was extra awesome for our event what with the trees in full regalia.


The Wadsworth family owned and operated the estate until Colonel Clarance Wadsworth died in 1942. After this point the estate changed hands from the state, to a catholic institute, to a private developer. After a fire in 1990 the property was stagnant for a bit, but finally landed in the hands of the town of Middletown in 1994 where it was renovated for a grand opening in December of 1999.

Inside the mansion there are two ballrooms and a dance area as prime people places, with a bar off the kitchen and a beautiful terrace off the back framed in Hydrangeas. Upstairs? Some rando accounting or insurance firm. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to work here daily?

We decided to use one ballroom as a dining room with the other as a reserve for the ceremony in case of rain with the center area as a dancing spot.

Our layout for the wedding

Our layout for the wedding

The inside was decorated all fall-y with pumpkins at the bar, fall colored flowers everywhere, and red napkins.


The organizers were very friendly and pleasant to work with. Setup went smoothly and we really didn’t have any major disruptions to the plan. I’m pleased with our venue choice.


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Four days before the wedding Jen got a call from the Wadsworth. The wedding planned for the night before ours had purchased a pergola for use.

Pergola: noun An archway in a garden or park consisting of a framework covered with trained climbing or trailing plants.

As the structure would take some time to deconstruct, and they really didn’t want to have to take it apart Sunday morning, they asked us if we’d like to use it. It was a good looking structure.

The picture sent to us, showing the pergola.

The picture sent to us, showing the pergola.

Jen and I agreed that it’d be nice to use, though the offer came with a warning. The structure was setup about 100 feet further away from the mansion than we wanted. That means we’d have to move it.


Once the pergola was set up by the preceding wedding, Pat, T, and I went to the mansion to check out the structure and see how hard it would be to move. That pergola? 12 feet tall, ~8feet long. i.e. HUGE. I admitted that this would be too challenging to move, but Theresa, perhaps enamored by its beauty, encouraged us to reconsider. After a brief discussion, we agreed to give it a go.

I didn’t want to take any chances, so I asked that our Pergola team report to the Mansion at 9am on the day of the wedding.

The Pergola Team:
Mike D
Dad D


Sunday morning, after an episode of star trek, I loaded up the car with some tools. Steve stopped by and we headed to the mansion. T brought coffee and doughnuts.

Tree ready for action

Tree ready for action

Steve, analyzing the construction.

Steve, analyzing the construction.

First task: remove the ornamentation


Second task: we had no idea.

We had two guesses for moving this thing. The columns were hollow, so the first idea was to lift the columns up and carry the structure as a whole. This didn’t work as there were significant stakes in the ground beneath the columns.

Our second idea was to lift the top structure off the columns, and then move the columns individually. We had four ladders, and at their highest A frame height we were able to just barely lift the structure. The problem here was that we were extremely unstable on the ladders. There was high risk for disfigurement.

Steve directing we, the peons, in our top off method

Steve directing we, the peons, in our top off method

We struggled with this for about an hour before Dad D recommended we remove the top cross members to lighten the burden. The annoying part, and why we didn’t try this out of the gate, was that the pieces were secured with torx head screws and we didn’t have the right tools.

After discussion, we agreed with Dad D and Steve and I went off to Home Depot to buy the a set of Torx head screw drivers. This was much quicker than driving home.


Once we’d decided on this method, the deconstruction went pretty quick.


Lifting off a column

Lifting off a column



Please note the extremely large stakes that were used to secure the pergola columns.

Repositioning and Rebuilding begins


Dad D and Jay, hammering in the stakes

Dad D and Jay, hammering in the stakes

Columns up! Top cross sections going on!

Columns up! Top cross sections going on!

Final Construction

Yes, once we figured out what to do it was a quick process but with so many failed attempts, the process ended up taking 4 hours for 6 people. What an endeavor!

We were extremely glad to have taken on the task. The Pergola was a beautiful structure and in retrospect was a very fun distraction from pre-wedding stresses.

Posted by mike d. Filed in family

Jen and I chose October 20th for little reason other than venue availability. We knew we wanted the event at the Wadsworth in Middletown, and with our late booking there were only two options:

Sunday, October 20
Sunday, October 27

Jen chose the 20th because she likes even numbers and she didn’t want our holiday too close to Halloween. Because we were looking at a Sunday, we wanted to make sure that our guests could make it home and still have a pleasant sleep before work on Monday. With the 9 hours of open venue time, we opted for a 12:30pm – 9:30pm window, with a start time of 3pm.

Let’s talk weather! The following charts show the historical averages for temperature in Connecticut for the date of October 20th. We’ll start with a look at Hartford.

Hartford (close enough)



3pm start time was right in the prime of the day! Perfect!

And now for Middletown specifically:


In retrospect, we made a great statistical choice! But the last few years in Connecticut certainly gave us reason for concern.

October 2011: The Great October Snowstorm
18.6 inches of snowfall, 10 deaths, 830,000 power outages, $160M in damages

October 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Winds at 85mph, 4 deaths, 625,000 power outages, $360M in damages

Granted both these events were pushing the tail end of October, but the significance of their devastation made us more than mildly worried. As the day approached we kept a close eye on the forecast. Ten days out? Uninspiring, but not horrific. Rain with temperature in the mid-fifties. Thankfully, the news continuously improved. Come our wedding eve the predictions were were a mostly sunny day with highs around 63°F – looking good!

Not too shabby!

Not too shabby!

As the day dawned, we realized we couldn’t have asked for anything better. Further, the foliage was near peak!


It was warm enough in the sun that the ladies didn’t need shawls and the men didn’t burn up in their suit jackets. Truly an epic day for a party.

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