Kurt: How is korea treating you
Mike D: I have learned that a black belt is useless against jetlag
Kurt: Oh? I recently got a black belt in procreating

Oooooooooooh man!

Congratulations Kurt and Shauna!

A conversation between myself and Mr. Ryan Schenk

Ryan: Dude! Check this out
Mike D: Daaaaaaang
Ryan: I know.
Mike D: I’ll watch Erin McNaught try ANYTHING. She should have a TV show called “Watch Erin McNaught do stuff.”
Ryan: ha ha. I’d watch that show.
Mike D: Things I’d like to watch Erin McNaught do: drink a soda
Ryan: replace the batteries in the tv remote
Mike D: send a text message to a friend
Ryan: evaluate hair brushes
Mike D: clean her countertops
Ryan: address envelopes
Mike D: consider different options in the condiment aisle
Ryan: wait for a CD to finish burning
Mike D: winterize her windows
Ryan: make Kool-Aid
Mike D: reheat yesterday’s take-out lunch
Ryan: gaze listlessly out the window

Someone make this happen.

1. Kevin makes some dinner

Carl: Kevin, this meal you made is really delicious
Kevin: What do you guys think of the meat?
Others: It’s really great!
Kevin: That’s good. The meat’s from July.

2. Carl wakes up Eric who crashed on the couch at the HoR

Carl: Hey Eric wake up.

::pause::

Carl: Hey Eric.

::pause::

Carl: Wake up Eric.
Eric: unnnnng
Carl: Eric, I just wanted to let you know it’s 7:15
Eric: huh?
Carl: It’s 7:15.
Eric: Thanks?

Eric rolls over to fall back asleep.
Note: At no time did Eric ever request to be woken up at any particular time.

3. Jesse sends me an instant message

Jesse: no lie, I’m in Delaware
Jesse: whaaaa?

Tuesday 12:15pm

Mom D: Dad D. is now painting the house
Mike D: he’s a maniac!
Mom D: well, it does have to be done and he has some free time now that he is FUNemployed

Ha! funemployed!

Shaun L. provides the following story:

Physical Trainer: You gotta have a healthy breakfast man! This morning I had 6 egg whites, a protein shake, and a bowl of oatmeal. What’d you have for breakfast?

Heavy-set man: I had a Coolata.

Physical Trainer: A Coolata?!?! YOU GOTTA COOLATA THAT!!!

Classic.

I pass on a joke I’d heard from Kevin and Theresa…

Mike D: RYAN SCHENK!
Ryan: Yo.
Mike D: What’s orange… and sounds like a parrot?
Ryan: Pyrilia aurantiocephala
Mike D: oh.

March 20th. 12:40am. Mike D sits drearily in bed bathed in the light from his computer monitor. The room is otherwise dark.

Ryan: MIKE D! What are you doing up so late?!
Mike D: I can’t sleep
Ryan: aw man, that happens to me sometimes. Sometimes I get all worked up about how I’m not sleeping, and it just makes me not sleep even more.
Mike D: Yeah, that’s usually what happens to me too.
Ryan: Did you know that I have chronic insomnia?
Mike D: I did not know this.
Ryan: It’s true. I don’t sleep very well. I never have, since I was about 3 (according to my mom).
Mike D: I feel your pain. This stinks.
Ryan: Ruth thinks it’s my karmatic payment for being so awesome
Mike D: ha ha ha ha ha

30 min later….

Mike D: Ugh, Sarah I can’t sleep.
Sarah: aww Mike D. That stinks
Mike D: yeah. I hate it when this happens.
Sarah: Why can’t you sleep?
Mike D: I have no idea.
Sarah: Maybe it’s nature’s way of balancing the fact that you’re so awesome during the day.

And there you have it folks! Insomnia explained through two independently developed theories.

Sarah got me a little webcamera for use with Skype. It’s pretty sweet. But as I prepared for yet another trip to Ohio (by the way, I’m in Ohio again), I had to find a place for it in my carry on and I didn’t want to damage the camera. I was looking around the house for a box. The one I ultimately found was the one that my distortion pedal came in.

As I checked to see if the camera would fit inside, I chatted with Brian who sat on the couch.

Mike D: “Sweet! It fits. Although the people at the security checkpoint might wonder why I’m bringing a distortion pedal onto the plane”
Brian: “Obviously, Air Guitar”

HA!