CT has a 30 Reflex AC*

This weekend’s snow storm.

*terminology bonus goes to Andy M.

Long-time reader Kate had been particularly taken by the bread shoes post that I put up on my site a few months ago. In her words:

A while back I sent my little bro the link to the bread shoes from your website. I thought they were pretty cool and since I’m a fan of all fuzzy slippers I joked that they were definitely something I needed. Sure enough they showed up under the tree Christmas morning. Freshly carved Italian loaves! Wearing them was a little moist and yeasty, but they molded perfectly to my feet and after a few days they made great food for the birds!

Ha ha ha! Merry Christmas Kate! I’m glad the site could help add some humor to your holiday. Thanks for sharing your story!

Ryan receives a phone message from his weird Australian friend.

Enjoy!

jraaaaa.mp3

I pass on a joke I’d heard from Kevin and Theresa…

Mike D: RYAN SCHENK!
Ryan: Yo.
Mike D: What’s orange… and sounds like a parrot?
Ryan: Pyrilia aurantiocephala
Mike D: oh.

Long-time reader, rare commenter, Blue Sarah sent me over an amazing auction link this morning. I’m not sure how long it’ll stay up, so I’ve copied the content to this post. Here’s the original link.

FOR SALE:
Scary Washing Machine. No really, it’s terrifying.

Old mid 80′s Fisher and Paykel top loader.
Goes like a rocket!

By ‘goes like a rocket’ I actually mean that literally.
It actually shakes the house.

It’s the loudest most violent sounding washing machine I have ever encountered.
It makes guests scared and children cry. I’ve lived with it like that for almost a year and it still scares me.

Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze. It sucked my shoes and pants off though and it got the iron as well which pissed me off because it was quite a good one. Luckily it sucked it’s own power cord out of the wall and stopped before the whole house went in.
I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw in case people didn’t believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.

I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.

On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.

Thankfully its bite is not as bad as it’s bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it’s supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it’s running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I’m still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.

If your in a fix and need a cheap washing machine and are either completely deaf or hate your neighbors this baby is for you.

$1 reserve, pick up only, Waterview Auckland.
Selling to pay for my counseling.

HA HA! Thanks Blue Sarah!

1) When my sister was little she thought the word episcopalian was actually: “a piece of alien.”

2) When Jesse’s cousin Adam was brought to a Chinese restaurant his dad gave him Teriyaki steaks. He got home and excitedly told his mom: “Dad let me have Pterodactyl Snakes!”

Ha!

Do you have any fun stories of little kid mispronunciations?

Ryan Schenk sent me the following e-mail a short while back.

I made this little devious device. I “tipped it over” on one of Ruth’s
$400 book commissions this afternoon to great effect.

Ha ha ha!

Seen on Cape Cod. Picture snagged by Ryan Schenk.

Here’s a craigslist ad for a car. From Irene.

(more…)

Sarah got me a little webcamera for use with Skype. It’s pretty sweet. But as I prepared for yet another trip to Ohio (by the way, I’m in Ohio again), I had to find a place for it in my carry on and I didn’t want to damage the camera. I was looking around the house for a box. The one I ultimately found was the one that my distortion pedal came in.

As I checked to see if the camera would fit inside, I chatted with Brian who sat on the couch.

Mike D: “Sweet! It fits. Although the people at the security checkpoint might wonder why I’m bringing a distortion pedal onto the plane”
Brian: “Obviously, Air Guitar”

HA!

Jesse sent me an e-mail:

The house next door has a semi-substantial Christmas display. lots of lights, 4 or 5 inflatable what-have-you’s. however, during the daytime they power it down because no one is around… well, not exactly NO one. I’M still here to see santa’s village laid waste on a daily basis, and frankly i’m amused. there are no glimmering lights and plenty of corpses. it looks like someone came through with an automatic rifle and went postal on the north pole. Santa face down in the snow, frosty looking like he just saw a 100F day. i don’t actually get to see them go down, i just bear witness to the piles of despair. it’s even better on a windy day when they writhe in agony…

I just can’t help but wonder what’s going on with the uncertified 70%.

Last night I whipped up a little Kung Fu comic.

Check it out here.

I thought of this concept in the middle of my kung fu class on Wednesday. Sure enough, we have a door along the side wall of our workout space that is labeled just like that one. When the thought hit me, it really took some effort to keep myself from breaking out into crazy laughter in the middle of class.

(It should be noted, in real life the room is full of first aid supplies, extra uniforms, wood to break, and various folded chairs and tables to pull out if we need them.)

It’s a day of lame jokes here on MikeDiDonato.com

Check out these great pictures Ryan Schenk sent over.

CAPE COD AT HIGH TIDE!

CAPE COD AT LOW TIDE!

Ha ha ha ha! Classic!

confused? cape cod looks like an arm.

Cindy recently got her own condo out in Chicago. It’s hip and wild and she is, as one would expect, rather excited.

One of the first things that needed to happen, was a lock change. This is Cindy’s story.

I had a guy come over to change the locks. This is an important step in any new home ownership and I felt like I had it under control. The guy had a very distinct eastern european-dirty hands-creepy-locksmith-kinda look about him. Anyway, while he was changing the locks, he asked “where is your husband?” and i was so flustered by the question i didn’t know what to say… I think I managed a “what husband?”

and then he asked me out.

I replied “uhm you’re married” because he totally had a ring on.

“oh that, don’t worry about that, come to my apartment and you can see i am very alone”

He really said that! So Awkward! So when i was paying him, cash, he was filling out the form and he wrote my name and address and asked me for phone number. i gave it to him and he wrote it on the form thinking nothing of it… then realized, why would he need my number?

Why? to text me later that night saying “we have a date Friday!”

And i had a pile of boxes in my place of course, so i had offered him the boxes i had because he said he was moving so he texts me again last night to say “i forgot the boxes, can i stop by tomorrow?”

I really had no clue that I was giving him so many openings.
I thought i was better than that
I’m disappointed in myself

Also, it’s really creepy when you realize the guy stalking you was the very same man who changed the locks on your front door.

I’ll keep you posted if there are any new developments.

Ryan came up with this idea and asked me to draw it up for him.

Awesome!

A picture!

from Shaun McQuaid

Delete?!?

from Shaun L.

Professor Sisson: “Have we figured out how to raise the melting point of Aluminum yet?”
Professor Apelian: “Yes we have. You just use a different Thermocouple. It works every time.”

HA!

Celina: “I want to throw up school everywhere.”

Take it away Ryan!

As you know, yesterday was my birthday. I took off from work a little bit early today and went surfing in Eastham with a friend. Both of us are seriously badassed dudes, so we were both surfing in 3/2 wetsuits. Needless to say, I was chilly when we got back to the cars, and unceremoniously stripped out of my wetsuit in the parking lot, partially obscured behind my car. I kid you not, as soon as both of us had our wetsuits around our ankles (I need not mention that “seriously badassed dudes” don’t wear anything under a wetsuit), a SCHOOL BUS FULL OF GIRL SCOUTS pulls into the parking lot, and starts offloading the girls!! The best part was when the Girl Scout leader saw my friend (who had boxers on at this point) and was like “nothing to see here ladies, keep moving, come on, let’s go, on the double.”

Ha ha!

This isn’t looking good.

Ryan Schenk: Mike D, I just played the funniest joke!
Mike D: Do share.
Ryan: There is a command on the mac called “say.” If you type in the command followed by a sentence, the computer will actually say the sentence in a computer voice.
Mike D: Okay.
Ryan: It’s especially funny if you log into another user’s mac remotely with SSH, because then the audio will play over THEIR speakers
Mike D: ha ha
Ryan: example

say “Hey Neil, you sure know how to push my buttons, if you know what I’m sayin’”
(neil is my boss)

Excellent Job Ryan Schenk. Excellent Job.

Ryan added his most awesome things to Jesse’s picture.

Check it out here.