I decided to be a mermaid for Halloween 2K6. Alicia was Ponch. We were “fish and CHiPs” (I know, corny). In my costume hunting, I found a “mermaid skirt” size women’s L at iParty, along with a long blond flowing wig and a nice set of clamshells. I wanted to try it on, and the only “dressing room” they had was actually the bathroom which had been converted for the sake of Halloween shoppers. To get in, you need the manager’s key, but I happened to show up right when someone was leaving, so i just jumped in. I put on the wig, the pearl holders and the halter and was trying to wriggle into the skirt when I heard the key turning! “Oh NO! They don’t know I’m in here!” The skirt was really only up to my knees at that point, so I tried harder to pull it up, but it was no use on short notice (I’m decidedly bigger than a women’s L I now realize) . The door swung open and a very attractive woman in her late 20’s and the 60 year old male manager just stood there and stared at what I can only imagine was not a pretty sight. After what seemed like an eternity, the girl just muttered “oh my…” and closed the door.

After I steadied myself and changed back into my clothes (I finally did squeeze into the skirt by the way, but it left too little to the imagination so I didn’t buy it), I walked out to find her still standing there (she did need to use the room after all). She apologized, but I replied, “Honestly, I think you got the much worse end of that deal” and then I left.

End note: While buying “filler cups” at Joanne Fabrics later that same day (to make the halter fit right), an overly attractive female co-worker was in line behind me and noticed what I was buying. I heard a very contemptible “harrumph” from her direction and that was all. We had never spoken before, and never after, but when she passes me in the halls, she smirks at me in a very judging way…

You’ve just unseated an UHart college radio story about a strung out Zydeco musician.