The Stepford Sabotage vs. The RI Riveters

The crowds turned up in great numbers on Sunday night to witness the aggressive meeting between CT’s Stepford Sabotage and the Rhode Island Riveters. The Riveters are a seasoned team with some great experience and a national ranking (14th!). Stepford, while still young and anxious for a rating, is decidedly feisty. We showed up knowing we’d be in for some great competition.

But on this Sunday the girls didn’t start the show, no, it was the men’s turn to debut. Three men’s derby teams showed up to welcome Connecticut’s first men’s derby team, the CT Death Quads, to the derby scene: The New York Shock Exchange, Western Mass’s Dirty Dozen, and Baltimore’s Harm City Homicide. The four teams mixed players into two squads for a fast and furious single period bout. It was extremely fun. The guys were brutally hitting one another, and what a mix of player skills! From Feelgood Marshall to Davy Jones the men were really throwing it all down.

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Fans for a change, CT’s Stepford Sabotage (Ether Bunny, Revengela, Tina Colada, Violet Riot, and Black Cherry) watch the men do their thing.

With the crowd all riled up, the girls came out welcomed with cheers of anticipation. As they warmed up by skating a few laps, Miz ConSepJen and Luciana Pulverotti walked around selling cupcakes to support the traveling team.

MC Hitman Hank was joined by Rhode Island’s Al Mighty. They introduced the players on each team and we started right in on the action.

The first jam put CT’s Powerhouse Pearl Jammer (#GO) up against Rhode Island’s Hysterica (#42). Hysterica, speed skater turned roller girl, was fast. She whipped through the pack quickly, snagged lead jammer status, circled once, and strategically ended the jam. Black Cherry (#C-4) came up next as jammer against Craisy Dukes (#high 5). Craisy repeated the process for the Riveters. If Stepford was caught off guard, they didn’t show it. The slow start didn’t deter the girls. Syd Rock (#2) snagged the first lead jammer status for Connecticut followed by Black Cherry and Tina Colada (#B-52). Despite grabbing these leads, the girls in green were coming up short on points.

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Jetta Von Diesel (#VR6) and Hysterica plan their attack

As the bout progressed it became clear that the Riveters’ defense is staggering! Jean Harlot (#1937), Burnin’ Helen (#73), and Sass E. McNasty (#8ball) were just some of the Riveters who were working to stop The Sabotage in their tracks. But as the first half came to a close Stepford seemed to strengthen… really landing their hits. Two consecutive jams in the final minutes of that first period saw Violet Riot (#911) plow into Bunnicula (#***), and Syd Rock savagely slam Jailbird Jenny (#111). Pearl and Doomcake (#13) concluded the half with critical strategic wins of lead jammer status.

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Pearl, Ether Bunny, and Syd talk strategy during the intermission.

After a quick break they were back at it. The second half saw great strategy by Riveters Craisy Dukes and Rhode Kill (#90mph). Rhode Kill was especially effective at taking a broad corner and driving the opposing jammer out of the ring in that first turn. It was brutal, but effective. Cleo Patronize (#10) had amazing stride and raised her team’s score even further. As the time ticked away CT had one final surge pulling in 23 points to the Riveters 12 in the last 8 jams.

It wasn’t quite enough. The Riveters secured a strong victory 107-47.

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Craisy Dukes and Rhode Kill on their victory lap

“It’s a hell of a start,” Girl Fawkes (#V) commented. And indeed it was. Stepford is working to get a rating in the national association, but to do so they have to play two ranked teams. Hopefully they will get a rating by the summer. Both teams skated their hearts out on Sunday. Great job Roller Girls!

Statistics!
Point Leaders:
Stepford Sabotage
Black Cherry: 17
Pearl Jammer: 9

The R.I. Riveters
Hysterica! 36
Cleo Patronize: 18

Trips to the penalty box were, more or less, evenly distributed between the teams. Pearl with 3, Cleo with 4.

Both teams have bouts fast approaching. The Riveters will be up in Maine on April 12th, and Connecticut will see a battle between the Elm City Bone Crushers and the Iron Angels on April 6th. The Stepford Sabotage will be back on the road in Philly on April 12th and against Gotham’s B-team on April 19th. It’s a hectic schedule so for all the details check out ctrollerderby.com.

6 comments on “The Stepford Sabotage vs. The RI Riveters”

  1. Darcy Moschenross Reply

    Great post. Hope you didn’t get scooped. Send me the pics!

  2. Chris T (from a various lab computer missing all his files) Reply

    Here’s the deal, you join the men’s league with me. That’s it. (You can skate, right? I can only hockey skate and haven’t done that in like 5 years.)

  3. Fawkes Reply

    Finally a face to put to the name! Great reporting as always!

  4. mike d. Reply

    Thanks! It was great meeting you.

    I can’t wait for April’s bout. Roller Derby is fantastic.

  5. mike d. Reply

    I am horrible on skates good friend. I have no idea how the skaters out there are so agile. But don’t let my handicap slow you down, you should sign up!

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