I ate a peppercorn once.

My mom spilled a bunch of peppercorns on the ground. Because she knew me well, the first thing she said when this happened and I was in the room was “Don’t eat any of those.”

Well, of course, I thought it would be interesting to go ahead and do exactly that. Keep in mind that this was before I had scoured my taste buds with the like of Dave’s Insanity Sauce and my company’s Death Mustard. I chewed it up and swallowed it. I then spent the next ten minutes running at full speed around the house and up and down the stairs. There was no relief.

Moral of the story: When your mom says “Don’t eat it”, don’t eat it.

Irene sent this one over. You may have seen some of them before, but they are pretty classic.

A video offered by Kurt!

Thanks Kurt!

Jesse asks:

Does this tomato strike you as oddly pornographic?

Tomato Picture. (totally SFW)

Unscramble each word to reveal the quip and it’s author.

“leepop how rkow tingtis wond egt dipa reom anth pleope owh krow nastnidg pu.”
-dogne shna

sorry. it was actually “fuzzy zucchini”.
you can see how i made the slip-up.

bought some veggies at the grocery store last night went through “self checkout”
you ever do that?

every time you scan an item, a sultry woman’s voice says

“please place your [item name] into the bag”

and the voice is loud enough to be heard for a few aisles… well, i bought something called a “hairy zucchini”

that went over really well amongst some of the patrons… including myself

I got some new polarized sunglasses recently, and figured they’d be great for scooting because they’d filter out some of the glare. Unfortunately, the face shield on my helmet was doing something weird with the light coming into the glasses … because they seemed to only polarize certain wavelengths of light at any given time. As I’m driving down the street, depending on how my head was tilted, every reflection in front of me would pulsate from bright green to hot pink and back again. At one point, I was driving down the middle of the road, with tar repair strips on either side of the lane, the one on the left bright green, the one on the right bright fushcia, both pulsating. Now I’ve never done shrooms before, but I would wager it’s fairly similar…

Bryan arrives home at the House of Rock…

Bryan: Did someone cook fish?
Mike D: Whoa. Wow.
Bryan: What?
Mike D: Yeah we had fish but it was, like, four hours ago. That’s amazing!
Bryan lowers his head in shame, and points to himself
Bryan: Fat kid.

Without looking on the internet for answers, what do you think the difference is between Liberty and Freedom?

the 1930’s were ahead of their times. Ruth: also ahead of her time.

Feb 7, 1931

Honeybees flying heavily loaded with nectar have been known to become exhausted and to fall into the water and drown.

Ruth rocks 1930’s science trivia

Feb 7, 1931

Migratory families, traveling about in wagons, automobiles, trains of by hitch-hiking, were investigated in Kansas in 1929, and it was found that 2,000 such families were given public aid that year.

Ruth is unstoppable with 1930’s resources!

Jan 31, 1931

Only two students in American universities have won PhD. degrees in meterology in the past ten years.

Ruth provides a rock solid fact of science from the 1930’s

Jan 31, 1931

The elk’s favorite weapon, his fore-foot, is so powerful that a single blow has been known to break the back of a gray wolf.

Because corn sugar adds calories to diets “heavyweight calory-counters, among others, will need to be more than usually wary in selecting sweetened, prepared foods since the Department of Agriculture’s descision relative to corn sugar.

According to theis descision, just announced by Secretary ARthurM Hyde, pre refined corn sugar may be used to sweeten prepared foods withought so stating on thelabel. Corn sugar sold in package or bulk must be labeled as such.

However, dextrose, which is the sugar obtained from corn, is not as sweet as sucrose, the sugar obtained from sugar cane. Consequently more corn sugar will have to be used to acheive the same flavoring effect in foods. Increasing hte sugar, whather in the form of dextrose or of sucrose, increases the calories. Hereinlies the danger to the unsuspecting.

The General public may be affected, as well as the obese, by an increased use of corn sugar which is expected to result from the new ruling.”

Check it out. Lichen versus Jellies.

Whoa!

Hippos versus Vipers!

Dang. Hippos stink.

This one turned out as expected I think.

The epic fight begins…

Welcome to the second edition of FreeSwim. As a reminder, FreeSwim is a day where you’re going to get a random collection of entries that don’t really fit anywhere else.

We’re going to start this free swim day off with an evolutionary showdown… so to speak.

Somehow, Schenk got his hands on some evolutionary data.

The following charts (I think there are seven) compare species in a battle royal of how many new species have been discovered within a certain period of time.

Let the games begin!!!