Friend: i was just on the elevator with a girl who was so hot it actually hurt to look at her. just thought you should know…1-10, she was a 14-15
Mike D: darn it!
Friend: yeah
Mike D: that sounds like a lot of hot
Friend: the funny part was there was this skeezy old man in the elevator with her carrying a huge fax machine
Mike D: oh yeah?
Friend: eventually it became clear that the hot blonde in little black dress had a homeless man carry her big fax machine for her
Mike D: Wow
Friend: and used her hotness to convince him so she kept saying “oh, its so hot outside” and fanning herself and in general being extra cute. it was odd and hilarious
Mike D: I hate women… NO! I LOVE THEM! …NO! I hate them!
Friend: lol so manipulative!

::pause::

Friend: though, she could have asked me to carry it to Detroit and I’d be walking right now