Last night I got a phone call from my sister Alicia. She played backup for Ben Folds last night with the pops. The set list was:

Zak and Sara
Jesusland
Gracie
Lullabye
Brick
Not the Same
Narcolepsy

This performance was unlike the typical Pops show. Halfway through the program, there was a scream from the Audience. Something was wrong… but our man Kieth Lockhart kept the music going. A few moments later, more screaming… this time with all sorts of shuffling. What was going on?!?!

The Drama is Documented here.

But what really happened?

Well, my inside source (alicia) has informed me that Perpetrator #1 (let’s call him RudeDude) was on a cell phone during the performance. Perpetrator #2 (let’s call him JusticeLeague) did not approve of this improper behavior. So he tapped the guy on the shoulder and told him to Cut it out. RudeDude did not cut it out.

So JusticeLeague decided to go inform the authorities. He did just that. He got up, and tried to get an usher to kick this guy out.

He returned a few seconds later, without an usher. RudeDude was still on the phone.

JusticeLeague slapped him across the head with his pamphlet. RudeDude did not like this, so he punched the guy in the stomach twice.

At this moment, a woman (let’s call her LadyDistress) let out a scream. Kieth Lockhart looked up into the crowds, but kept the music going.

Shortly thereafter, LadyDistress screamed again. This time a full fledged brawl had broken out between RudeDude and JusticeLeague. One of the two men even lost his shirt in the fiasco. In all the fury and mayhem, Kieth Lockhart stopped the music and waited for the disorder to end.

Afterwards, my sister was talking to a few of the older Pops members. One of them pointed out that this is exactly what happens when you bring “this type of music” into Symphony Hall.

I’m not sure if I posted this before. If not, try it.

If so, try it again.

Last night at Kung Fu we learned a unique block. An attacker moves to kick you in the chest with a roundhouse. You take your closest elbow, arm pointing to the ground, and in one motion turn it away from your body and then twist your hand like you were opening a jar of pickles.*

When you twist your arm like this, your radius slams against your attacker’s shin.

The pain delivered to the attacker is Intense.

As an example of this pain the head instructor asked me to kick him in the chest so he could demonstrate the move. I performed a simple roundhouse. He performed the block.

I reared away in pain! It was brutal!

One of the other students asked a question about the technique, so the instructor asked me to kick him again.

And I couldn’t do it. After one kick I had already been conditioned to believe that kicking him lead to extreme pain. I brought my leg up and performed the most pansy kick you could ever imagine. It was pathetic.

If anyone is interested in learning this move, I’ll be happy to share. It’s pretty simple, and quite effective.

*the pickle analogy is right on. In fact, they use it to explain the move in class.

UPDATE: Ryan made the astute observation that if you’re performing the move with your LEFT arm, you’d actually be tightening the pickle jar.