Without checking, which do you think is larger in size:

1. Ganymede, the solar system’s largest moon.
2. Mercury, the solar system’s smallest planet*.

*smallest planet, assuming you’re not from New Mexico.

I can’t even express to you how much I love meetings that are planned for 5:00pm on a Friday afternoon.

The last of my climbing gear has arrived. That’s the missing number two cam along the top, a set of beautifully colored nuts, and four auto-lock carabiners.

Now I’m ready. This weekend? yes.

I’m afraid this will be it for updates today. I am in Chicago on business.

While I’m gone here’s a picture to discuss:

We’re going to take a little break from the Prankage for some geographical excitement.

Last week Jocelyn and Schenk recognized the Nantucket Skyline, and Liz and Schenk grabbed the Florida Key’s satellite. Great Job!

This week, we continue.

SKYLINE!

SATELLITE!

Good luck!

Has anyone experienced Peanut Butter hiccups?

For whatever reason, if I eat peanut butter too quickly, I get really annoying painful hiccups that last until I’ve finished downing my food.

Last night after work Sander and I did some major renovations on our cubicles. I started with some basic cleaning and the replacement my huge mongo book shelves with some smaller wooden ones. I hung up some art on the wall and organized my papers.

Then Sander and I removed one of the panels between our cubes (shown below with a dashed line.)

The result was a significantly improved view out the windows and more light with the added bonus of now being able to pass critical things like business cards, screwdrivers, and highlighters back and forth between our cubicles without having to throw them over the wall.

Once the renovations were completed, I zipped over to the climbing gym where I tried some new routes and got the rest of my rack (pictures on the way!) Also, Irene got new shoes, I tried a sweet new route, and I got a decent pump with some slow climbing of a 5.7

Chapter 2: Prank 1 – The Guardian Shield Maneuver

As the summer progressed, we came to know the Yellow House well. I regularly stopped by their house on the way home from Subway. As the weeks turned into months, I began collecting data from the House in preparation for our first prank… whatever it might be.

First, I created a floor plan.

Next there were various scouting missions where pictures were taken.

Kitchen 1, Kitchen 2, Upstairs bath, 3rd Floor Hall, 3rd Floor Kitchen

But we still didn’t have a good prank. Then, out of no where, Ben and Godlewski stumbled upon a huge cache of little toys.

They were originally owned by Chris O’Malley, but Ben and Godlewski decided it would be fun to hide them all over the second floor of HnH. And that they did. And it was hilarious.

Clearly we had to repeat this exercise with the Yellow House.

And thus it was decided that we would break into the Yellow House during the night and hide things everywhere. Everywhere meaning: in their showers, in their cereal, in their shoes, and freezer. Anywhere where we could fit them.

We named the little toys Guardians and ordered 230 of them from http://www.rinovelty.com/ giving us a grand total of about 250. Not all of them were little dudes. Most of them were actually small animals and such.

We knew we had to do this at night. We also knew that it was extremely simple to break into the Yellow House. With 19 people roaming around, it was cake to walk in… unlock a window… and walk out. The problem was that we really didn’t want to leave a door or window of the house unlocked. Especially in Worcester where crime strikes like an cobra. A big angry cobra that is also very dirty and has a bad infrastructure.

I don’t remember how the idea came about, but it was genius. In the evening I would walk into the Yellow house with Ben, under the ruse that I wanted to show him the sweet house layout. As soon as we were in the clear, we’d head into the basement and unlock the back door. Kurt, a.k.a. Agent Eastie, was waiting for us there equipped with a blanket, flashlight, radio, and various methods of passing the time.

He would wait there… for 6 hours. At 4am he would arise and contact us via walkie talkie.

At this point, we would send out the scout. The scout, Agent Dirt, would record locations of every light that was on in the house so that we would be aware of any house members that were awake.

Provided the coast was clear, Agent Eastie would unlock the back door and let in the teams.

The teams consisted of the following members:

Agent My Little Pony
Agent Eastie
Agent Dirt
Agent Zobo
Agent Almighty
Agent Extreme
Agent Ion
Agent Nightstalker
Agent Brighton

Each person was assigned a specific location to cover in Guardians.

The evening before the attack, we all met at HnH for the briefing.

This was the powerpoint that was shown.

At 10pm, as planned, Ben and I went over to the Yellow House. The Yellow House residents were all watching T.V. on the porch. They let us in… unaware of the mayhem that would soon fall upon them.

Ben and I snuck into the cellar and opened the back door. Kurt was there, ready. He immediately reported to his location and got settled for the long haul. Ben and I left through the front door.

We went back to HnH, and went to bed early.

At 4am, my alarm went off. I woke up, walked into the dark hallway, and knocked on JonAbad’s door. Moments later, Jon Abad appeared in full Camo* with the Mission Impossible Music blaring from his room. Agents started coming out, ready for action. Godlewski appeared next. He was wearing Night vision goggles. TimBaird appeared with video camera in hand.

Yes. this would be an epic night indeed.

Keep reading at Chapter Three.

*urban camo!

Bradjelina, Bennifer, etc.

One of my coworkers recently left the company and his office is now a barren cubical - completely stripped of all amenities. Just a few hours after his departure… Shaun snagged the guy’s chair and Dave pilfered the high quality flat screen monitor.

It’s amazing how quickly the sadness over a coworker/friend’s departure turns into a complete brawl over all his office supplies.

I can’t pretend that I didn’t participate. I was right there with them. In fact, I got some great wall art and a printer. It’s a cubical jungle out there people. You have to be on your toes at all times. When that shiny Swingline stapler is up for grabs, if you don’t throw a few punches you may never be able to bind two pieces of paper together ever again.

Chapter 1: The Background.

Really, when it comes down to it, the whole thing was started because of an elderly guy named Norman. Kurt and I were working at Subway, and Norman was this obnoxious guy who would come in far too often, stayed far too long, and ordered in a bumbling manner that usually required us to try and guess what the heck he wanted on his sub.

Norman: “Pastrami…whe.. .anaise….ch.. . ucce… s…”
Mike D: “Pastrami on wheat with mayonaise cheese lettuce and salt?”
Norman: “… j.s…d….”
Mike D: “ha ha… ha?”

Norman lived across the street from the Subway in a giant yellow house. And he complained about the house. A lot.

Sometime in 2002 he stepped up his complaints and reported the Yellow house to the authorities as an unsafe place for senior citizens. The housing facility shut down. And suddenly, there was a giant yellow house that needed renting.

Enter Ernie Begin.

Ernie is a master of organization. Some have called him the Caesar of Worcester*. And when a mass living lifestyle opportunity presented itself, Ernie grabbed hold, and found 18 other people to sign the lease. There were 19 people on the lease! NINETEEN.

Those people were as follows:

Ernie, Jay, Jon O., Max, Sarah, Matt, Erich, Goss, Joslyn, John M, Maria, A.Jamin, Jroy, Darcy, Megan, Wizzo, JR, Jeff, and Kerri from Fitchburg.

Kurt and I, who worked at the Subway and lived a block or two away at the corner of Hamden and Howe realized we needed to bring our awesome houses together. One way or another.

HnH, as we lovingly called it, was a three unit multifamily. Kurt, Jon, Andy, and I lived on the second floor. The first floor and third floors were filled with friends. We had 12 extremely awesome dedicated people who were ready for action at a moment’s notice.

And so we took the ocelot as our mascot and declared war on the Yellow house. Well, not so much war as a Rivalry. A rivalry that would go down in the books as the most insane test of willpower and creativity ever known to mankind Worcester.

The first challenge was the Guardian Shield Maneuver

Continue reading Chapter Two Here

*This isn’t even remotely true.

An entomologist explains the pain of bug bites. Thanks to Roland.

Bug-sting scale with funny definitions

The Justin O. Schmidt Pain Index is a colorful entomologist’s attempt to map out the relative ouchiness of different bug-stings. The definitions — from a man who was stung many, many times — are hilarious:

* 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
* 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch.
* 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
* 2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
* 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine WC Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
* 2.x Honey bee and European hornet.
* 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
* 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of Hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
* 4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath (if you get stung by one you might as well lie down and scream).
* 4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your heel.

Do you like edges? oh man do I have a pan for you.

Dear Future,

Please come quickly. We’re ready.

-Mike D.

www.hotenough.org

only the hot need apply.

I am tired. Last night I stayed up to do some homework, and I gotta say… homework stinks. The assignment was to complete 7 or so finance problems, and they were kickin’ my butt. I cut out at 2am… because that’s about as much as my feeble body can handle.

I can’t complain though… the work was assigned two weeks ago and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to get it done. Interestingly, it kind of makes me happy to stay up and do work… because it’s nice to be productive.

Today I’ll probably stumble through my day, and then tonight after class there may be some rock taking place with Ernie and Joanna. (Joanna!!)

Ernie, for those of you who don’t know, is a CT resident who was the butt end of many of Kurt, Jon, and my college pranks. Including the extremely effective “Operation Guardian Shield” where Kurt hid for 8 hours in the basement of Ernie’s house to let a horde of us in at 4am. We hid hundreds of little figures… everywhere.

Joanna, his sister, has a really high voice and once made sausage filled apples for an Iron Chef tournament.

They were delicious.

Financial and Managerial Accounting: A-
Marketing: A-

Happy Spring Everybody.

Welcome back to the Guess that Skyline contest!

Last week Caitlin correctly identified the skyline as The Eden Project in England. Shaun L. and William, along with a few others, figured out that the satellite image was of St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican (on Earth). Great job!

I think this week’s contest is a good one. Check it out:

SKYLINE!

SATELLITE!

Good luck!

This link requires a look:

Quintessential Geekdom

You know it’s going to be a tough day when you start it by mistakenly pouring granola down your shirt.

Today is one of those days where if you’re using Internet Explorer, you’re just not going to have a good view of the website.

Please, please switch over to a superior web browser. All of the internet is begging you.

My mother sent me this. She said it reminded her of me.

F Minus is one excellent cartoon.