Last night, at hours far too late, I wrote up the Star Wars parallel that was requested by Shaun McQuaid. I have tried to parallel all my regular and semi-regular readers with a star wars character. Now, there aren’t quite enough female characters in the movie, so don’t be disappointed if you’re female and your parallel is either male, a monster, or a robot.
If I’ve left you out, just leave a comment and I’ll add you in.
Mike D: Luke. This is more because I feel I HAVE to be Luke what with being the main character of mikedidonato.com. I am not Luke because I want to be. Luke’s lame.
JonAbad: R2-D2 would have been a cooler character had he been Mexican. This roll is also perfect for JonAbad because Jon is always magically appearing and saving the day. JonAbad and R2-D2 also both really enjoy baking.
Kurt: Mace Windo. If Kurt were a Jedi, he’d probably have a funky purple disco lightsaber with which he would kill snakes on planes.
Ben: Uncle Owen. Yes, he was killed by the empire, but rumor has it he could hold off a whole colony of Sandpeople with one blaster
Sander: Sandperson
TimBaird: Boba Fett. I can think of few people who would be able to better take advantage of a jetpack.
Patrick: Ewok Warrior. Ewoks are masters of the wilderness. Everything about Patrick SCREAMS ewok.
Roland: Wedge Antilles. He’s always there to lend a hand, and is great in combat and with a Frisbee.
Alicia: Amidala. Alicia is super fashionable, and it’s only right that this honor go to the Queen of Fashion herself.
Theresa: Sabé. Sabé was the handmaiden of Amidala that stood in for the Queen in dangerous situations. Theresa, being dangerous, is the only one for the job. Sabé was also played by Kiera Knightly. What? who knew!
My mom: Aunt Beru. She was a caregiver and preferred a nice cup of coffee over a space battle.
ShaunMcQuaid is the Force.
Jesse: TuanTaun. Do a web image search for TuanTaun. The resemblance is uncanny
Jesse’s mom: Battle Droid. This might seem out of place, but battle droids have amazing dental hygiene.
HC Alicia: Wampa. While the image might not seem right at first, the Tauntaun’s and Wampas are made for one another
Becky: Red Leader. Simply because of her stunning red hair.
Paul: Spiderman.
Tom: Grand Moff Tarkin. In addition to being the governer of the galactic empire, Tarkin, like Tom, is extremely talented at making blue cheese salad dressings. Also, read this.
Sander: Jabba the Hutt.
Mykal: Shmi Skywalker. Mykal may not know it, but she’s the mother of the soon to be leader of the jedi doomsquad
Aaron: Han Solo. Aaron got so boned with the superpower post (glowing elbows?) that I figured he deserved something more exciting for this round. Way to go Aaron!
Shamus: Admiral Ackbar. In addition to being the finest general of the rebellion, Ackbar, like Shamus, is known for the frontside 720’s he pulls in the snowy mountains of Hoth.
RyanSchenk: Biker Scout. Schenk would make a SICK biker scout.
Ruth: Darth Maul. When Ruth is angry, the universe is very afraid.
Jocelyn: Temple Guard. Dressed in stunning red, Jocelyn is in charge of only the most important job ever: protecting all that is evil.
Adam: All that is evil. Adam is the Emperor. Adam makes a lot of sense for this roll because Palpatine was an amateur meteorologist in high school before he began his quest to become the ultimate villain of the galaxy.
Walid: Wald. No lie. There’s a character in Star Wars by the name ‘Wald’.
Liz: Jawa. Liz, not unlike a Jawa, is an expert at bartering.
Sander: Jar Jar Binks.
Kate from Ohio: C-3PO. The O stands for Ohio.
Tyler: General Grievous. He is the only droid who could actually pull his weight in battle. Four lightsabers? Yes.
Bisol: Death Star Stormtrooper. He’s working hard for his family and this is the only job he could get given the economy these days. He’s hoping to at least be promoted to lieutenant some day. He’s tired of being last in line at the Death Star cafeteria.
Caitlin: Gold Leader was in charge of the whole Gold attack force… their drive was plagued to fail from the beginning. The empire came from behind.
JesAbad: The Torture Droid. you DO NOT want to be interrogated by Jes.
Marian: Sebulba. They say Pod Racing originated in England.
Mike G: Greedo. I can honestly see Mike G being a bounty hunter.
Pam C: The Planet Alderaan. Peaceful. Quiet. But she’ll explode if you insult her Volleyball.
Ian: Qui-gon Jinn. Ian was an indirect cause of the fall of the republic! but don’t worry Ian, the child of your student will make out with his sister… weird.
TedBreen: Yoda. Before yoda needed a cane, he could run 17 miles a day without a second thought.
JoeHavelick: Darth Tyranus. Tyranus is also known as Count Dooku. Heh heh.
Abby: Lando. No explanation needed.
James: Rancor. He may seem violent and angry on the outside, but he’s a teddie bear once you get to know him.
Annie Olives: Jango Fett and the parent of the entire clone force. Annie, like TimBaird, has a jet pack.
JesSaint: The Millenium Falcon. Jes is Fast. VERY fast.
UUIG: The people have spoken. UUIG is Leia.
Anita Clue: Darth Vader. Anita is unforgiving and able to throw small children across a room simply by waving her hand.
Sander: Chewbacca’s hairy sister
Devin: Obi Wan. He hid from the empire and became a recluse. He’s also a great rock climber
Irene: The Second Death Star. Don’t make the mistake of underestimating Irene. She’s fully operational and will ruin you.
Eric Pope: Red Six. He had a problem. He tried to hold it. Biggs told him to pull up… It was tragic.
Ed: Senator Organa has a goatee. Ed has… or at one point had… a goatee.
Ed #2: The Head of the Spare Parts devision for Death Star Inc. He was SO good at his job that the empire ordered a whole new STAR in episode VI.
Authored by:
mike d.